Long time reader, first time writer. Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, it's an absolute disgrace what's been going on in NESCAC soccer this season. I've been keeping a close eye on the competition, or should I say, the lack of competition, and it's clear as day that my son is the undisputed king of the pitch. Nobody, and I mean nobody, even comes close to his level of skill and talent.
Now, I don't want you to think for a second that I'm being biased here. No, I'm just stating the facts, being objective, you know, like I always am. My son, who, by the way, has the most points in the NESCAC, deserves to be crowned the NESCAC Player of the Year, and I'm going to tell you exactly why.
Let's start with his performance against Husson University. I mean, folks, it was a thing of beauty. A goal and not one, not two, but two assists! Who does that? Well, my son does, of course. It's almost unfair to the competition, really. They just can't keep up with him.
And let's not forget about that incredible assist against Bates. It was like watching a maestro conduct an orchestra. The precision, the finesse, it was poetry in motion. Nobody in the NESCAC can match his level of play. I'm just stating the facts here, folks.
But that's not all, not by a long shot. My son's four-goal, yes, you heard me right, four-goal performance against the University of New England was something to behold. It's almost as if the other team wasn't even on the field. He added an assist for good measure, just to remind everyone who's boss.
Honestly, they should just go ahead and award him the NESCAC Player of the Year right now. There's no competition left; it's pretty much over for everyone else. My son might just be the best player in NESCAC history, and I'm not saying that to brag, folks, I'm just telling you like it is.
So, to all the naysayers and doubters out there, take a good hard look at the stats and the performances. My son's dominance on the field speaks for itself, and it's time for the NESCAC to recognize greatness when they see it. We're not talking about opinions here; we're talking about cold, hard facts. My son is the best, and it's time everyone acknowledges it. Believe me!
Now, I don't want you to think for a second that I'm being biased here. No, I'm just stating the facts, being objective, you know, like I always am. My son, who, by the way, has the most points in the NESCAC, deserves to be crowned the NESCAC Player of the Year, and I'm going to tell you exactly why.
Let's start with his performance against Husson University. I mean, folks, it was a thing of beauty. A goal and not one, not two, but two assists! Who does that? Well, my son does, of course. It's almost unfair to the competition, really. They just can't keep up with him.
And let's not forget about that incredible assist against Bates. It was like watching a maestro conduct an orchestra. The precision, the finesse, it was poetry in motion. Nobody in the NESCAC can match his level of play. I'm just stating the facts here, folks.
But that's not all, not by a long shot. My son's four-goal, yes, you heard me right, four-goal performance against the University of New England was something to behold. It's almost as if the other team wasn't even on the field. He added an assist for good measure, just to remind everyone who's boss.
Honestly, they should just go ahead and award him the NESCAC Player of the Year right now. There's no competition left; it's pretty much over for everyone else. My son might just be the best player in NESCAC history, and I'm not saying that to brag, folks, I'm just telling you like it is.
So, to all the naysayers and doubters out there, take a good hard look at the stats and the performances. My son's dominance on the field speaks for itself, and it's time for the NESCAC to recognize greatness when they see it. We're not talking about opinions here; we're talking about cold, hard facts. My son is the best, and it's time everyone acknowledges it. Believe me!