FB: American Rivers Conference

[footballdaddy]

Two boys are playing football at a park in Pella, IA, when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy, "I'll write a story and title it 'Young Central Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal'".

"But I'm not a Central fan." the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in Pella, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"I'm a Wartburg Knights fan," the boy says. "They're the best."

The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little  F****r  From Waverly Kills Beloved Family Pet."

I told that joke (with variations) here years ago.

[AZDutchman]

Two boys are playing football at a park in Pella, IA, when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy, "I'll write a story and title it 'Young Central Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal'".

"But I'm not a Central fan." the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in Pella, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"I'm a Wartburg Knights fan," the boy says. "They're the best."

The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little  F****r  From Waverly Kills Beloved Family Pet."

I told that joke (with variations) here years ago.

That's what I like about Wartburg fans...they even tell jokes about themselves (with variations). 

[AZDutchman]

All joking aside, I think the game tomorrow will be one to remember for awhile.
Unfortunately, I may have to miss this one. I tried to move my schedule around for work, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. 

Hey, AZD...you don't look so well.  Are you coming down with something?  You better take tomorrow off from work so you don't pass whatever you have on to someone else!!!

I had to be honest with the customer. I told her that my son plays for the Central Dutch. She said, I know them...excellent team. I asked if it would be okay to move her to another day, because they were playing Wartburg. She said, Who? I said, exactly.
In other words...I'm free. I can't wait for tomorrows game!   

[Old Dutch]

Ok, I was saving this for Simpson but here goes

A group of Dutch backpackers were sitting around a campfire one dark evening when a stranger asked to join them. Glad to have the company, they agreed. Soon the conversation turned to jokes, and one of the camping group started to tell jokes with Wartburg being the butt of many of them. The stranger who apparently graduated from Wartburg got angrier and angrier at each joke. So he finally had enough and pulled out his razor and began to threaten the Dutch with it. Fortunately for the Dutch the Knight couldn't find an outlet to plug it in.
Go Dutch!

Carlosmenciaophobia - The irrational fear of having someone else discover that you're telling jokes that you stole from someone else. 

sh** you mean if one Googles "College rival jokes" you don't get original stuff???  da** and I so thought I was clever.

[Old Dutch]

Two boys are playing football at a park in Pella, IA, when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy, "I'll write a story and title it 'Young Central Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal'".

"But I'm not a Central fan." the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in Pella, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"I'm a Wartburg Knights fan," the boy says. "They're the best."

The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little  F****r  From Waverly Kills Beloved Family Pet."

I told that joke (with variations) here years ago.

ok, since Wartburg fans are being joke police on here how about this one;

Did you hear about the Knight football player who was so ugly he wasn't allowed on the beach because the tide wouldn't come in?

Or how about the Knight who was such an ugly baby his momma had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him?

Of course whenever a Knight baby is born they're so ugly they're mother gets slapped.

you know the difference between a puppy and a Wartburg fan?  Eventually the puppy grows up and stops whining.

disclaimer:  all of the above jokes are at least 30 years old.

[warthog]

The Wartmobile will be heading out early tomorrow morning so we can be there to take in all the festivities of a Central/Wartburg game.  Apparently KCRG 9.2 will be there telecasting the game. 

Mrs. Warthog spent most of this week in the Orange City area.  She did her best to help Northwestern see the value in finding a new home with the NCAA and the IIAC.  I think there is a chance of seeing Morningside and Northwestern making the jump. 

She brought home Dutch Letters from a bakery in downtown Orange City.  I didn't think they were as good as the ones we buy in Pella.

[Fannosaurus Rex]

Two boys are playing football at a park in Pella, IA, when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy, "I'll write a story and title it 'Young Central Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal'".

"But I'm not a Central fan." the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in Pella, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"I'm a Wartburg Knights fan," the boy says. "They're the best."

The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little  F****r  From Waverly Kills Beloved Family Pet."

I told that joke (with variations) here years ago.

ok, since Wartburg fans are being joke police on here how about this one;

Did you hear about the Knight football player who was so ugly he wasn't allowed on the beach because the tide wouldn't come in?

Or how about the Knight who was such an ugly baby his momma had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him?

Of course whenever a Knight baby is born they're so ugly they're mother gets slapped.

you know the difference between a puppy and a Wartburg fan?  Eventually the puppy grows up and stops whining.

disclaimer:  all of the above jokes are at least 30 years old.

I've been working on an original joke that involves a guy making on a gorilla costume to win a prize at a Halloween party.  The punch line is "Gorilla???  We thought you were a Warburg cheerleader!" I don't think I will have it ready before the game though.  Sorry.

[AZDutchman]

I've been working on an original joke that involves a guy making on a gorilla costume to win a prize at a Halloween party.  The punch line is "Gorilla???  We thought you were a Warburg cheerleader!" I don't think I will have it ready before the game though.  Sorry.

Let me try to help you...
In the middle of the joke...

Someone suggests, Why don't you go as a Wartburg football player?
and he says, There's already a bunch of guys dressing up as that. Didn't you see them? They were on the field.

If we work together we can have it done by game time.

[AZDutchman]

I got a hold of Wartburgs playbook for tomorrow.
At least I thought I did...they had this with a playbook cover over it...


Okay I'm done. Everyone have a great game tomorrow and stay injury free.
Go Dutch!

[hazzben]

Mrs. Warthog spent most of this week in the Orange City area.  She did her best to help Northwestern see the value in finding a new home with the NCAA and the IIAC.  I think there is a chance of seeing Morningside and Northwestern making the jump. 

Well, like I've been saying, both schools have been talking in earnest about it.

[doolittledog]

Dubuque Telegraph-Herald says Loras senior starting QB is out with a seperated shoulder.  His replacement is a sophomore that went 1-4 with 2 int's last week against Coe when he came in relief.  That should make Cornell happy to hear. 

The paper also says that record chasing Wyatt Hanus and Michael Zweifel would gladly trade records for a win this Saturday.  I like the way they are thinking. 

And we have beautiful Saturday ahead of us.  Sunshine and temps in the 50's. 

[Bird Dog]

I have always been told that great literature should be read and reread.  The same goes for good jokes they should be told and retold and if you heard them before enjoy the laughter of others.  Change the subject in a joke and I bet alot of these were around B.C.

p.s. I still haven't tried the first read on great literature and probably not getting it done anytime soon, so keep the jokes coming.

[CaliRamRL6]

The guys doing Cornell's video just said that Coe and Cornell will start playing for the Bremner Cup next year. It's about time they start some traveling trophy. Now all they need to do is make it travel from Cedar Rapids to Mount Vernon.

[AZDutchman]

Does Wartburg have an audio that is in sync with their video?
Our audio was behind the video, but now in front of it.
The live stats seems to be out of sync by a full possession.

My hats off to UD. Great video and audio feed.

Hard to keep up on the game with the video in and out, but I don't think it's helping us to have 4 turnovers??

[Ash Park]

The guys doing Cornell's video just said that Coe and Cornell will start playing for the Bremner Cup next year. It's about time they start some traveling trophy. Now all they need to do is make it travel from Cedar Rapids to Mount Vernon.

Finally!