FB: American Rivers Conference

[Klompen]

The Dutch have a bye, I go away for the weekend without doing pick-ems and come home to find the Dutch in a tie for second.  Earlier in the season I thought UD was better than Coe, but maybe that was just the game we gave away.  UD performances the past two weeks compared with Coe's tell me the right team of the two will be representing the IIAC.  Loyalty still has that inner voice saying it could have been the Dutch, but like several teams in the conference would say, if only we had played better on such and such a day.

We have had several mentions of things that happened in years gone by over the season, so here's one.  Anyone else remember the year Simpson finally beat Central for the first time in decades and one of the Simpson assistant coaches went missing after the game.  It was on the TV news and in the papers with questions about foul play until the guy showed up somewhere out west after going on a multi day bender.

[Fannosaurus Rex]

Time to get things under way for the big Central Simpson game this Saturday.
So a Simpson guy gets so drunk in a bar that he ends up puking on himself.  He says to the bartender, "Oh no, my wife is going to give me all kinds of grief for this."  The bartender says, "relax.  Just but a $5 bill in your shirt pocket and tell your wife that some drunk puked on you and gave you $5 to get your shirt laundered."  So the son of Simpson gets home and his poor pitiful wife says, "your a mess!"  And the guy says, "yeah some drunk puked on me but he gave me a five dollar bill to pay to clean it up."  His wife says, "that's a ten."  And the guy says, "Oh yeah, he wet my pants too."

[Fannosaurus Rex]

A guy walks into a bar with a pit bull.  The bartender says, "That's a pretty scary looking dog."  The guy says, "This is the fiercest dog in the world, and I am the bravest man in the world" The bartender says, "Big talk."  And the guy says, "Okay. I will put my reproductive organs in this dog's mouth for one minute and if I survive, you give me a drink." The bartender agrees.  So the guy kind of shakes the dog up a little bit and he opens his mouth and then gently closes around the guy's anatomy.  Everyone in the bar is all tense and the dog is growling low and mean and at the end of the minute, a timer goes off and the guy conks the dog on the head with a beer bottle.  The dog opens up and everyone cheers and the guy gets his drink.  He says, "I'll give a hundred dollars to anyone who will try the same trick.  There is silence until finally a woman in a Simpson sweatshirt comes up and says, "I'll try it but you have to promise not to conk me on the head when the time is up." 

[HansenRatings]

A guy walks into a bar with a pit bull.  The bartender says, "That's a pretty scary looking dog."  The guy says, "This is the fiercest dog in the world, and I am the bravest man in the world" The bartender says, "Big talk."  And the guy says, "Okay. I will put my reproductive organs in this dog's mouth for one minute and if I survive, you give me a drink." The bartender agrees.  So the guy kind of shakes the dog up a little bit and he opens his mouth and then gently closes around the guy's anatomy.  Everyone in the bar is all tense and the dog is growling low and mean and at the end of the minute, a timer goes off and the guy conks the dog on the head with a beer bottle.  The dog opens up and everyone cheers and the guy gets his drink.  He says, "I'll give a hundred dollars to anyone who will try the same trick.  There is silence until finally a woman in a Simpson sweatshirt comes up and says, "I'll try it but you have to promise not to conk me on the head when the time is up."

+K

I've heard variations of the "he peed my pants too" joke before, but this one was gold.

[Klompen]

I know it is Simpson week and it would normally call for jokes and I know there really are no Simpson folks on here this year, at least not as posters.  Just the same, my condolences to the family and friends of the two Des Moines police officers ambushed in their cars while on duty in the early hours of Wednesday morning.  These two both happened to be Simpson graduates.  My niece, a Central grad, and her husband are both police officers in Des Moines also.  It was stressful waking up to that news and not knowing if they were okay.  I don't understand this kind of senseless killing and hope the guy they arrested does not get off on a mental illness defense. 

Simpson, on this issue we stand with you.  Respect and honor to these two Simpson grads that gave their life for the desire to protect us all.

[Phred]

I know it is Simpson week and it would normally call for jokes and I know there really are no Simpson folks on here this year, at least not as posters.  Just the same, my condolences to the family and friends of the two Des Moines police officers ambushed in their cars while on duty in the early hours of Wednesday morning.  These two both happened to be Simpson graduates.  My niece, a Central grad, and her husband are both police officers in Des Moines also.  It was stressful waking up to that news and not knowing if they were okay.  I don't understand this kind of senseless killing and hope the guy they arrested does not get off on a mental illness defense. 

Simpson, on this issue we stand with you.  Respect and honor to these two Simpson grads that gave their life for the desire to protect us all.

+ K.  With you on that!

[doolittledog]

I know it is Simpson week and it would normally call for jokes and I know there really are no Simpson folks on here this year, at least not as posters.  Just the same, my condolences to the family and friends of the two Des Moines police officers ambushed in their cars while on duty in the early hours of Wednesday morning.  These two both happened to be Simpson graduates.  My niece, a Central grad, and her husband are both police officers in Des Moines also.  It was stressful waking up to that news and not knowing if they were okay.  I don't understand this kind of senseless killing and hope the guy they arrested does not get off on a mental illness defense. 

Simpson, on this issue we stand with you.  Respect and honor to these two Simpson grads that gave their life for the desire to protect us all.

Thank you for articulating that so well! 

[DBQ1965]

I know it is Simpson week and it would normally call for jokes and I know there really are no Simpson folks on here this year, at least not as posters.  Just the same, my condolences to the family and friends of the two Des Moines police officers ambushed in their cars while on duty in the early hours of Wednesday morning.  These two both happened to be Simpson graduates.  My niece, a Central grad, and her husband are both police officers in Des Moines also.  It was stressful waking up to that news and not knowing if they were okay.  I don't understand this kind of senseless killing and hope the guy they arrested does not get off on a mental illness defense. 

Simpson, on this issue we stand with you.  Respect and honor to these two Simpson grads that gave their life for the desire to protect us all.

Thank you for articulating that so well!

Plus karma for that.

[doolittledog]

From the Dubuque Telegraph-Herald...

http://www.telegraphherald.com/sports/local_sports/article_38b7b5f1-11b8-5c5e-be04-cfdfa549f705.html?utm_source=thonline&utm_medium=click_source&utm_campaign=left_column_news

From the article...

Last season: Dubuque beat Loras, 42-7

Last week: Loras beat Luther, 43-28; Dubuque lost to Wartburg, 43-35

Outlook: These teams traded costumes on Halloween weekend. The Duhawks took control with 468 yards of offense, posting a 29-0 lead by halftime that held up for their first win of the season. They won the turnover battle and quarterback Bob Kelly tossed four touchdown passes, including an 81-yard bomb to top receiver Jon Powers. As for the Spartans, they let a 28-27 third-quarter lead slip away with two interceptions leading to two Wartburg touchdowns. With this being Dubuque's last game of the regular season, the big question left is whether these Spartans can revert back to their high-scoring ways, or if Loras has turned the tide and can salvage a win streak out of what's been an otherwise disappointing 2016 campaign.

[doolittledog]

Defense rules so far.  UD with a pick 6...Loras scoops a fumble and rumbles in for 6. 

7-7 1st quarter. 

Looks like the offenses got jealous of the defenses.  Loras drives the field, gets a TD and converts a 2 point conversion.  Spartans say anything you can do we can do better.  3 play drive for a TD, and also convert a 2 point conversion. 

15-15 end of the 1st quarter.  Each team has a turn over returned for a score.  Each teams offense has driven for a score.  Each team has punted once.  Loras has a missed FG attempt.  UD ends the quarter with the ball. 

[5 Words or Less]

13-7 Luther leads at half

Norse score twice before half

[doolittledog]

Halftime scores...
NWU leads @ BVU 17-14
Central leads Simpson 21-14
Luther leads @ Wartburg 13-7
Dubuque leads @ Loras 43-15   UD has 3 defensive TD's 

Mrs Doolittle's and my mood right now...

[doolittledog]

Final scores...

Central beats Simpson 49-14
Luther wins @ Wartburg 28-27 in OT
Dubuque wins @ Loras 60-22
BVU beats NWU 38-31

I suspect 5WOL will become 5WOM tonight in his recap of the Norse/Knight clash from today 

[5 Words or Less]

Enjoy responsibly ... prepare for Central.

[Klompen]

I was hoping maybe the three way juggernaut for 2nd place would be broken today, but I thought after the past couple of weeks it might be Dubuque falling out, but Wartburg works too and it lets Central know they can't take Luther lightly.  Congratulations to today's winners.  Congratulations to Central Coach Jeff McMartin on becoming only the second coach in school history to hit 100 wins. 

Nice tribute to the fallen police officers before the game today.  Also learned there were a couple of Central connections to the Urbandale officer as well.  My heart really goes out to those families and fellow officers.  It has been a deadly year for Des Moines police this year with two accidents claiming three lives in addition to this week's shootings.  With two DM police offiers in my family, and a very unexpected death of someone who meant the world to me this spring, I can relate to the pain, grief and loss.

It was senior day at Central today and with a huge senior class of talented players who were great leaders, setting the example of hard work and reward there will be holes to fill next year.  I am sure there will be some fantastic roofing jobs in Pella over the summer, Central has a lot of coaches.