FB: American Rivers Conference

[AndOne]

A Dutchman goes to a bar and sees a typical Simpson girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed immediately under that load ."

Two Dutchmen are looking up and admiring the moon on a beautiful autumn night.
The first asks, "So what do you think is farther away, the moon or California"?
The second replies, "Duh, can you see California from here"?   

[Fannosaurus Rex]

When he heard they were having a Tulip Festival in Pella the Simpson student said, "what's the big deal?  Everybody in Indianola has two lips."

Sorry. I used up all of the good stuff about ten years ago.

[5 Words or Less]

Stadium elevations ... for inquiring minds

1,407.9 = J. Leslie Rollins Stadium at Buena Vista
1,208.2 = Abel Stadium at Nebraska Wesleyan
954.1 = Bill Buxton Stadium at Simpson
925.9 = Walston Hoover Stadium at Wartburg
876.2 = Carlson Stadium at Luther
867.6 = Chalmers Field at Dubuque
839.9 = Ron and Joyce Schipper Stadium at Central
793.9 = Rock Bowl at Loras
739.9 = Clark Field at Coe

tl;dr. Expect better from you

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I must avoid being verbose   I must avoid being verbose
I must avoid being verbose   I must avoid being verbose
I must avoid being verbose   I must avo

[Old Dutch]

Not much banter on the ol' Iowa board, had three oldies left, hate to waste 'em:


What does a tornado and a Simpson cheerleader have in common?
Both eventually end up in trailer parks.

A Simpson football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the Wal Mart came out and unplugged it in time!

Why did they cancel the Christmas play on the Simpson campus last year?
They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

[Fannosaurus Rex]

Thank you.  Three more of those was just what I needed to get me game day ready.

[doolittledog]

Halftime scores...

Luther leads @ BVU 30-7 ...Raise your hand if you saw Luther leading the IIAC in October 
Central leads @ Simpson 21-14
Wartburg leads Coe 14-0
Loras is tied @ NWU 28-28

[Alfredeneumann]

Final from  Walston Hoover Wartburg 34-7 over Coe.
1st time seeing Wartburg this year, dominated both  lines of scrimmage. D line was all over Coe QB who threw into coverage a lot and Wartburg caught several of those throws. Wart Offense was balanced and explosive. Coe's punter was their MVP, at least 3 downed inside 10 including a 75+ yd kick.

[5 Words or Less]

Is Central's remarkable 56-year run of winning football coming to an end?  I've thought that several times over the past decade with obvious result ... but is this year that Old Dutch is forced to delete a line from the signature in his Forum Profile?  The 1-2 Dutch have pending engagements with three IIAC teams ranked ahead in the preseason coaches poll and the rest of their schedule appears full of dark horses that all seem capable of winning on any given Saturday. 

This isn't Coach McMartin's first rabbit hunt and I'm sure he's looking at options to wake his sleeping giant.  Perhaps all the Dutch need is a healthy return of their starting quarterback. 

Sincerely yours,
5 Words or More

DANG!!  The giant's awake

[5 Words or Less]

Final from  Walston Hoover Wartburg 34-7 over Coe.
1st time seeing Wartburg this year, dominated both  lines of scrimmage. D line was all over Coe QB who threw into coverage a lot and Wartburg caught several of those throws. Wart Offense was balanced and explosive. Coe's punter was their MVP, at least 3 downed inside 10 including a 75+ yd kick.

... BOTH of 'em

[Old Dutch]

Final from  Walston Hoover Wartburg 34-7 over Coe.
1st time seeing Wartburg this year, dominated both  lines of scrimmage. D line was all over Coe QB who threw into coverage a lot and Wartburg caught several of those throws. Wart Offense was balanced and explosive. Coe's punter was their MVP, at least 3 downed inside 10 including a 75+ yd kick.

... BOTH of 'em

And guess who'se on the schedule next week - Its Wartburg Week!  I've been to nearly all the Wart/Central matchup's , always a big crowd and usually a very good game!!  Stopped in to Walston Hoover today and was disappointed with the crowd on both sides.  Perhaps the Coe faithfull had a vision of the results to come. And Yes Wartburg was impressive.

[HansenRatings]

Central outgained Simpson through the air, despite throwing 18 fewer passes? That's not something I saw coming. Should be a good game next week. Central has worked their way back up to being the second-highest rated team in my model. I just hope the game doesn't get decided by a field goal or PAT for Wartburg. I thought before the game that Wartburg's secondary was maybe its only weakness, but they definitely calmed any fears I had.

[Purple Heys]

Central outgained Simpson through the air, despite throwing 18 fewer passes? That's not something I saw coming. Should be a good game next week. Central has worked their way back up to being the second-highest rated team in my model. I just hope the game doesn't get decided by a field goal or PAT for Wartburg. I thought before the game that Wartburg's secondary was maybe its only weakness, but they definitely calmed any fears I had.

Key to this game was The Dutch Denial - Simpson thwarted on first and goal from the 4, looking to take a 24-21 lead, included 2 cracks from the One yard line.  Central then drove 99 yards in 14 plays.  Simpson never recovered.

[Alfredeneumann]

Central outgained Simpson through the air, despite throwing 18 fewer passes? That's not something I saw coming. Should be a good game next week. Central has worked their way back up to being the second-highest rated team in my model. I just hope the game doesn't get decided by a field goal or PAT for Wartburg. I thought before the game that Wartburg's secondary was maybe its only weakness, but they definitely calmed any fears I had.

Having guys getting after the QB helped the db's to get 5 INTs. And yes place kicking appears to be the weakest position for the Knights. Blocked short FG, kickoff OB and missed xtra point with wind at his back. 

[Fannosaurus Rex]

Thanks for that.  I am looking for hope for Central this week and so far I have Wartburg's weak kicking game and the fact that they average 62.2 yards of penalties per game vs Central's 39.2.  Go Dutch!

[HansenRatings]

Thanks for that.  I am looking for hope for Central this week and so far I have Wartburg's weak kicking game and the fact that they average 62.2 yards of penalties per game vs Central's 39.2.  Go Dutch!

(Penalties have no correlation to game outcomes)

I think I convinced my fiance to some down to Pella for the game. I haven't tailgated or watched a game there since my freshman year of college. What are the alcohol rules in and around campus and around town?