FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Kilted Rat]

A little bit of Golf Humor for your Friday


A senior couple out on their retirement park golf course
paused for a drink of water on the fifth tee.
   Out of blue, husband says, "Twenty years ago I had a brief
affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."
   His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long
gone.  What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you." They embraced and kissed.
   On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back
swing when the wife blurted out,
   "I'm sorry darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since
you told me, but since we're being honest with
   each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two
years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man
   before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.'
   The husband froze at the top of his back swing, then threw
a fit!  He slammed the driv er into the ground,
   kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee,
pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of
   his clubs one by one, then started on hers. He screamed
and ranted,
   "You liar! You cheat! You despicable
   deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart
and soul.....and all these years you've been playing
   off the ladies tees?!"

[DuffMan]

If Bethel football makes play-offs in 2006, I will eat the entire St. Olaf Media Guide.

[kubiack78]

Right back at ya!

As far as Residency goes, I'll more than likely end up doing a Navy Residency as part of my commitment to them for paying for my schoolin'. Otherwise, Rochester would be awesome!

Hey KR we could always use more doc's over here in Iraq

[royalachilles]

Okay Duff, but lets make it a little more challenging, do it after fins has his way with it.

[royalachilles]

And why is my Karma still at a -7. I expected a lot more out of you johnnies boys. I figured at least a-20 or so.  Look at it this way guys, you could have Amaru back

[johnnie_esq]

royalachilles-

Well done-- getting us talking about football again!

You point out SJU's weaknesses-- however, you forget that SJU has a tendency, with its depth, to reload and not rebuild.  It has been 10 years since SJU "rebuilt" with a 6-4 season, so you may want to qualify your statement.

Yes, Bethel has Porta coming back.  Yes, Bethel has an O-line coming back.  But Bethel still has to show they can be two-dimensional offensively.  They will run on first down, and if they don't, they will run on second down for sure.  And you know who is getting the ball each time.  If they don't develop a consistent passing game, they will be chipped away by bigger defenses like Concordia and faster defenses like SJU.  Bethel was fifth in the conference in passing last year, accruing a meager 180 yards per game through the air (while Concordia only averaged 118 ypg passing, they had 23% fewer attempts and less than half as many interceptions, had a comparable completion percentage, and a better ypp average).

Defensively, Bethel's defense has not shown to be as quick as their own 2003 version.The Bethel defense ranked third last year in the conference overall last year, but that is perhaps a generous statement for a team that was .500.   They were fifth in the conference in opponent third down percentage, meaning they allowed opponenents to convert on third down approximately 38% of the time (by contrast, SJU allowed conversions 24.7% of the time and Concordia 33.5%).  Bethel was also fifth in sacks by, accruing 2.4 sacks per game (SJU 3.83/CC 3.25).  So while SJU and Concordia may have lost a few players, I wouldn't call Bethel's defense automatically the best on paper right now.  Most experienced?  Perhaps.  But best?  That's why they play the games.  I still go back to seeing the third best defense in the conference last year play .500 ball. 

Rankings for BU special teams?  While kick return was 3rd and punt return 4th, field goals were 7th, PAT kicking was 9th and punting was 9th.  BU was ahead of only Augsburg last year in turnover margin, too.   SJU finished only a little better, but was no doubt hurt by a -6 turnover ratio against UWW. 

I love that each year there are a few Bethel supporters who note how much bigger and stronger their players are, or that they've been working very hard in the offseason.  I assume they have; but also assume the same out of players at CC, STO, GAC, CAR, MAC, HAM, and even UST (maybe).  I think Bethel should be a good team this year-- they should be better than .500, but if they don't get there, what does that say about the job Johnson is doing?  Or does it say more about what Meidt meant to the program?

[johnnie_esq]

They like them to make the playoffs. Better keep one extra media guide ready for that day..

Here's a thought-- they like SJU to win the conference, and expect BU to win a pool C bid.  That said, BU would have to have a good record over other playoff participants.  Bethel's NC opponents are predicted to finish 6-4 and 4-6 respectively, so they won't be dancing, meaning BU has to beat SJU to get in, and a trip up to anyone other than Concordia means they are likely done even if they do beat SJU.  And they'd be battling against WIAC squads (UWEC getting in?  UW-LAX?  UWO?).   

[AO]

Well as long as you fellas are talking football, I see that it's about time to point out the UMAC will state its dominance over the MIAC this fall in head to head matchups.  Luckily for the MIAC the UMAC joins with the SLIAC in a couple of years.  However,this may create a super conference that the WIAC, MIAC or IIAC may never recover from.  Forget about any more free passes to the Stagg bowl, johnnies.

[johnnie_esq]

Well as long as you fellas are talking football, I see that it's about time to point out the UMAC will state its dominance over the MIAC this fall in head to head matchups.  Luckily for the MIAC the UMAC joins with the SLIAC in a couple of years.  However,this may create a super conference that the WIAC, MIAC or IIAC may never recover from.  Forget about any more free passes to the Stagg bowl, johnnies.

Right on time, AO, right on time.  How will the Northwestern Eagles be this year?  Ready to kick MAC out of the conference permanently?

[royalachilles]

Im still waiting for my - karma, however, Johnnie Esq, it has a lot more to do with Meidt than Johnson.  He has a great mind for play calling.  I think this year you will see a lot less light shed on Porta than in past years as they will look more to the air to compliment their run opportunities.  The biggest problem last year was the inability to defend the long ball.  I believe they have fixed that.  And the backers had a tendency to broadcast their blitzes leaving mid field wide open for all to take advantage of.  I believe that is fixed. Kirby Carr moving back in the outside linebacker spot will make a big difference.  The inside backers will stop the run.  They looked incredible in the Blue/Gold.  As did the backfield.  I also think that sooner or later reloading will catch up to you.  Returning players, multiple year starters , is what Bethel will bring this year.  This will be my fourth year watching MIAC football, and not only Bethel.  I have seen a lot of other teams play and not against Bethel.  This team reminds me a lot of the 2003 team, even though you cannot replace a Kirchoff, or Lacy, they are stronger in other areas.

[AO]

On the contrary, I think Macalester just might make a comeback to the MIAC within 5 years.   I don't know if you'll see much improvement this fall but give it a season or two and the most liberal, football hating school of them all might be a force to be reckoned with come fall.

But Northwestern isn't scheduled to play against Macalester in any case.

I would say the Northwestern should be the favorites in every game they play this year, so the undefeated season is a distinct possibility.

[royalachilles]

Hey Mighty Royal, I know you are a Royals fan, but how do you see them this year, and if you have the time break it down by position as JonnieEsq was so gracious to do for the Johnnies.  Who do you think will really step up this year for the Royals, and will it be enough?

[johnnie_esq]

This team reminds me a lot of the 2003 team, even though you cannot replace a Kirchoff, or Lacy, they are stronger in other areas.

IMHO, that 2003 team was Kirchoff.  His toughness, leadership, and ability to scramble gave the team the identity that it did.  It could run the ball, he could pass the ball, and when the pass wasn't open, he could run the ball confidently.  But take away one of those elements and the team hasn't been the same since.  Take away Meidt calling the plays and you dig a deeper hole.  But you're right-- the key will be Porta-- if you can shed less light on him (and more on the receivers), it will be a good team; if not, it'll be another .500 season. 

You should hope Bethel can defend the long ball.  They will have to do it against SJU and likely STO.

Have they fixed the special teams?  A PAT kicking percentage of .55% means BU could be giving up one to two points per game.  Add in a punting yardage percentage of just over 25 yards and they're giving that defense the short field-- so no long ball may be needed!

AO, is Northwestern ducking Macalester now???  They'll play Augsburg I see.  That will be one to watch.  Also IIAC powerhouse Cornell hosts the Eagles, with the Big 10's University of Chicago hosting the Eagles in the season finale.  Should be interesting to see the Eagles go undefeated...

[Kilted Rat]

For KR and Duff-
In light of what we spoke about early this morning, I thought you would enjoy this news article...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,210444,00.html

Mighty Royal

Note to self: Cancel 3 month vacation to Greenland, or schedule follow-up trip to Sweden for 1 Swedish Made Penis-enlarger.

[Kilted Rat]

For KR and Duff-
In light of what we spoke about early this morning, I thought you would enjoy this news article...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,210444,00.html

Mighty Royal

Seriously though, who funded this research?


Quack-scientist: "Umm.. we need $350,000."
King of Greenland: "For what purpose?"
QS: We wanna track the size of the willies on our polar bears and see if they're getting bigger or not over a 50 year period.
KoG: Well splendid! Make sure I get the first copy of the report!


20 years later:

QS: King, we have some bad news. The Polar bears have smaller tally-whackers now than they did in 1950 by an average of 2cm each.
KoG: That's terrible! What can we do to fix it?
QS: We don't know, but for $1million we think we can figure it out.
KoG: Done, we must solve the mystery of the why the dongs get smaller as the world gets warmer.
QS: One more thing
KoG: Yes?
QS: Where can we dump 500 polar bear corpses?
KoG: WHAT???
QS: Well you didn't expect us to measure them while they were walking around did ya?