FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[DuffMan]

Duff,
Might have messed up. Just gave away a Christian Becker column chainomatic analytical balance to a local lad who is a senior chem major at Benedictine College in Atchison, KS - then I thought of you.
Don't know if you would have wanted it or how to get it to you but too late now.

Damn you!  I could have used that in my meth lab

[BDB]

God Bless Piggly Wiggly Grocery stores!

When we were in Wiscy the weekend after the 4th, a Shop the Pig commercial came on the radio. MrsKR started cracking up laughing, she had never heard of Piggly Wiggly before!

For the rest of the weekend my ill-fated mission was to find her a Piggly Wiggly so she could say she shopped the pig. The Pig in Watertown closed recently so we were unable to show her a Piggly Wiggly.

Next time we head into Wisconsin, I am going to make sure we find one though.

There's a Piggly wiggly in my home town of Cambridge WI its about 30 min SW of Watertown 

There you go, KR!

Another guy who knows how to "SHOP THE PIG!"

[kubiack78]

Ok Might Royal I've got plenty of them too:

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.

When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

['gro]

LLPP Post of the Week

[FPM]

LLPP Post of the Week

that very well may have been the best post i have ever seen karma all around.

[tmerton]

[For the old farts] From the original Hollywood Squares. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.


Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie:  Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.  What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.

[57Johnnie]

Duff,
Might have messed up. Just gave away a Christian Becker column chainomatic analytical balance to a local lad who is a senior chem major at Benedictine College in Atchison, KS - then I thought of you.
Don't know if you would have wanted it or how to get it to you but too late now.

Damn you!  I could have used that in my meth lab

I wasn't going to mention that.

[miacwatchmen]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck !!

[tmerton]

A gas station in Georgia was trying to increase its sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."

Soon Billy Bob pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Billy Bob guessed 8 and the proprietor said, "No, but you were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no free sex this time, but maybe next time."

Some time thereafter, Billy Bob and Bubba pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

Billy Bob guessed 2 this time and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, Billy Bob said to Bubba, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

[FPM]

If anybody would like to attend the game at Hamline tonight let me know I have an extra pass to get in.  Great to open the season on what looks to be a great night.  Shoot me a message if you want to come.

[SJUrube]

Did I miss something with all this SJU/MIAC v Northwestern talk?  When did DI and DIII teams start playing one another?  Don't get me wrong I think the Johnnies could give the Wildcats a little run but in the end I think Northwestern would pull it out.

FYI...New to the board, at least as a poster and no the above is not serious.

[CCKnight]

A few more Chuck Norris facts:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

[knights]

My picks, for this weekend, good luck to all and stay healthy

Hamline (+7.5)
September 2, 2006
Buena Vista (+9.5) 
Saint John's (-7.5),
St. Thomas  (+6.5)
St. Olaf (-3.5)
Concordia (-6.5)

Regional:
Monmouth (+14.5)

National:
Rowan (-7.5)

[57Johnnie]

knights,
You have to go to the pickems board for your vote to count

[johnnyadmit]

Congrats on the 3000 KR- sorry I'm a little late, but I'm back to working for a living!    Even though I was neglected, I might take you up on your Melvins offer for Duff... Depends if the ladyfriend talks me into a trip to the state fair this weekend.