FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[johnniepress]

CCKnight,

Bechstein is listed as a "FY" on the 2-deep Carleton sent me.

[kubiack78]

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch. 

[finsleft]

Pat- How about a response to my question? (#18455)

Sorry -- missed it. Between T.O. news conferences now (conference No. 4 coming up).

You may find the TOS is a good guide on this: "I have access to the source of all posts -- I would not allow completely anonymous person to use a complex script on my server."

This applies to anything that passes through the site, in theory. If I wanted to, yes, I could, absolutely. But I have better things to do than paw through PMs and karma applaud/smite logs and file access logs and error logs. Like anything else, if you want to keep something private, take care over how you transmit it.

I think a postcard would be best.

OK then, postcards it is.  

One more thing. Since AFCA and your pal Don Hanson's polls have SJU ranked #3, and your site's poll has them way down at #4, that tells me one thing....Mister, you are out of touch with college football.  

BTW-didn't you just love TO's publicist's comment that TO "has 25 million reasons not to want to kill himself"?

[finsleft]

Anybody hear about the 3 year old in Minneapolis who was brought to the hospital with like a .13 blood alcohol level?  

Must've gotten into the koolaid.

[DuffMan]

Can everyone please send me their addresses so that I can send out post cards?

[kubiack78]

Can everyone please send me their addresses so that I can send out post cards?

Sure...
mine is:

Mobile Team 18
EODT
Bum F**k Iraq

[kubiack78]

And to prove it is BFI (Bum F*** Iraq)  here is a video of our site:

the buildings at the end are in Iran

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz70ePB76es

[retagent]

MAUDE:  You're not interested in sex?
DUDE:   You mean coitus?
MAUDE:  ...............it can be a natural, zesty enterprise.............

[Retired Old Rat]

Sorry about the spelling on hypocritical. I was typing on my laptop while driving, and the door to my Rausch blew open.....

That's what I'm talking about. 

+k

[finsleft]

And to prove it is BFI (Bum F*** Iraq)  here is a video of our site:

the buildings at the end are in Iran

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz70ePB76es

Sand as far as the eye can see. Nice shots from the crows nest kubiack. How nice to be able to spend the winter someplace warm.
Isn't it about bed time or are you on night watch?

[kubiack78]

 This is my hour break from watching the nightly fireworks

[Buckman]

Kubiak, I really like what you guys have done with the place!

[johnnie_esq]

Not to burst your bubble, but that one was already given about 30 pages back....come on esq, we need new ones up in here!  If you like at all my Chuck Norris facts, none of them have been given twice!  And, yes, I pride myself in saying a new fact each day!

Mighty Royal

Hey, Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to me because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

[johnniebackup67]

MR-
I don't know if you used this one yet, so, if you have, apologies in advance.

Chuck Norris likes to crochet blankets.  And by "crochet" I mean round house kick, and by "bankets" I mean babies.

[sjusection105]

Seems to me a little humor is needed at this point (TO is admittedly a joke but that's not the kind of humor I had in mind).

Here's an interesting story about a Texas Chili Contest that seem to involve someone we know.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know they actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.  It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.  Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster who was visiting from Naples, FL.  He was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told him he could have free beer or Zima during the tasting.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event.

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3  -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. The barmaid pounded me on the back, now
my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced
from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans.  Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman
is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if
I'm burning my lips off. 
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.  

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic.  Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that Sally. I can't feel my lips anymore.  I need to wipe my ass with a
snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt.  At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway.  If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

Great clues:special judge #3 is Touchdown Tommy. He not only likes Zima, but has been know to hit on large bar maids when drunk as well as "shart" himself.