FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Johnnie Red]

Finsleft, you can still be in charge of the advertising. As to grills, I still plan to bring my three small Webers (including a new one that Raiderguy was kind enough to donate) just to make sure the transition goes well.

And now for something from the bench. There is a book entitled Disorder in the American Courts. The following are things people have actually said in court, word for word, taken down and are now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exhanges were actually taking place.

Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I just lie there.

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan!

Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you ****tin' me?

Attorney: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: And what were you doing at that time?
Witness: Uh . . . I was getting laid!

Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Witness: No, he was sitting at the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[finsleft]

Thanks JR. You know the advertising revenue goes to the Finsleft Koolaid Fund, so it's a worthy cause. 


I'll be sure to bring my tools so the grills get their pre-season tune-up.

(I think I've asked most of those questions at one time or another). 

[DutchFan2004]

JR funny stuff.  Are you glad you get to sort through this stuff now?  Are they dumbing down the bar exam like all the other tests lately?  Those questions don't really sound like they were asked by people that spent 7 or 8 years in college do they?

[Knightstalker]

7-8 years of college does not = common sense.

[Johnnie Red]

DutchFan2004, yes, I do get to hear some rather interesting things. I will sometimes get to make some appropriate comments myself. This morning I had a motion hearing for supervised visitation vs. unsupervised visitation by a father with his three year old son. The mother wanted the supervised visitation. The father is a former Duke University football player.

One of the last questions I asked was whether he had ever played lacrosse for Duke. That got a laugh out of everyone.

[Pat Coleman]

Frank,

Anything we can do to get a little more Gustie patronization of Kickoff? Gustavus is last in the MIAC this year, was last in the MIAC last year and is last for the three years combined. And that's even if you count Macalester.

[frankrickard]

Frank,

Anything we can do to get a little more Gustie patronization of Kickoff? Gustavus is last in the MIAC this year, was last in the MIAC last year and is last for the three years combined. And that's even if you count Macalester.

I'll be ordering mine tonight or tomorrow.  I've put the word out in the channels I have available.  That's pretty embarassing to lose to Macalester for about the first time ever.

[finsleft]

Frank,

Anything we can do to get a little more Gustie patronization of Kickoff?

Well, we could teach them how to read.  

Sorry Pat, I couldn't resist.

[The White Silly]

augsburg is gonna get silly this year...straight silly.....sully.....i like the mount union and trinity too...and Crown...nero deebs...we will definitely beat St. thomas for the defensive championships award...who's gonna get the STam award?...i think its gonna be Lee...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...arena

[The White Silly]

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[frankrickard]

Frank,

Anything we can do to get a little more Gustie patronization of Kickoff?

Well, we could teach them how to read. 

Sorry Pat, I couldn't resist.

F*** you dough boy i can read! See this shoe it says Adidas!

augsburg is gonna get silly this year...straight silly.....sully.....i like the mount union and trinity too...and Crown...nero deebs...we will definitely beat St. thomas for the defensive championships award...who's gonna get the STam award?...i think its gonna be Lee...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...arena

What?

[finsleft]

1)We're gonna ring that bell... We're gonna ring that championship bell... 2)DING-MOTHER-****ING-DONG!!!

[Willy Wonka]

Check out numbers 87 and 88. Poor tmerts.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=schoenfield/070823

[shakenbake35]

Shake - The Johnnie posters can dish it out, but have a hard time receiving (see: tmerts dealing with any criticism regarding the Irish or red and white). Just be ready if you're going to call them out, or plan on sending certain SJU fans packages crosscountry containing elements of the field after getting blasted in their bowl to lose the conference title, as your karma may take a hit. But welcome aboard

Thanks for the heads up!  I however am not worried about my karma taking a hit from the Coolaid drinkers of Collegeville, who through my years of experience brag up their football team (which is obviously solid) mainly because they didn't have chicks on campus and the ones their school did have an association with, wouldn't make the cut at almost  all other MIAC campuses (except for the Cobbers who most likely take any woman hardy enough to survive there).  Oh and if any of you have been to Sal's for the last song before closing time you know how the SJU really likes to get down.  True story!

[Willy Wonka]

Shake - C'mon, rook. Use the quote button.

Who would want this job? I'd rather cover Mac.

http://www.journalismjobs.com/Job_Listing.cfm?JobID=819570