FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[frankrickard]

Quietest Johnnie-Tommie week I've seen

[OzJohnnie]

Not a Tommie joke, but a pretty good Aussie one:


Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me,"

Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

[OzJohnnie]

And I just came across this classic, so I'll have to post it:

An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jill (the Australian Barmaid) takes his order, a Fosters, and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each other.

At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 for sex. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again, orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. Jill remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders Fosters and sits in the corner. Jill thinks that if she pays him more some attention then maybe she can then shake some more cash out of him again, so she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia and he tells her: "Melbourne".

"So am I... What suburb in Melbourne?"

"Glen Iris" he replies

"That's amazing..." she says, "So am I - what Street?"

"Cameo Street" he replies

"This is unbelievable..." she says,"What number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is totally astonished.

"You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you"

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN THINKS AUSTRALIAN!

[finsleft]

Quality humor, Oz! +K



Tommies suck!

[sju56321]

OK-got the Polish on order and will be arriving Friday.
Anyone going to be around St. Joe on Friday night?
And do they Hamms on tap at the La?

[sju56321]

Oh-I forgot and I guess there will be a football game on Saturday to interrupt the festivities.

[Retired Old Rat]

I'm seriously considering violating the terms of service and registering another user so I can post as a Tommie and get this thing going.

Any suggestions for names?

[frankrickard]

OK-got the Polish on order and will be arriving Friday.
Anyone going to be around St. Joe on Friday night?
And do they Hamms on tap at the La?

I'll be getting into St. Cloud sometime on Friday.

[finsleft]

I'm seriously considering violating the terms of service and registering another user so I can post as a Tommie and get this thing going.

Any suggestions for names?

How about "Isuck" ?

[Rugman]

I'm seriously considering violating the terms of service and registering another user so I can post as a Tommie and get this thing going.

Any suggestions for names?

How about "Isuck" ?

USTD Survivor?

[Rugman]

How many of the current 15 guest viewers are closet Tommies?

[Rugman]

Scared one away.  Now there are 14, oops there goes another one...13.

[Rugman]

Here's a serious question.  Who would win a game between the two current occupants of O'Shaughnessy Stadium?  UST or Cretin Derham Hall. 

[57Johnnie]

This little piece just came in over the transom - unfortunately it's pretty much true.

Back in 1850, 157 years ago, California became a state.  At that time:

The State had no electricity.

The State had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

They forgot to mention whether there were fires everywhere.

150 years ago they only smoked tobacco, today you can smoke anything EXCEPT tobacco.  8)

[finsleft]

A Scotsman phones a dentist to inquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.

"85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.

"85!!! Huv ye no' got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock 15 off."

"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without an anesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to 40"

"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction, with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"

"It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist.

"I'll charge you 5, but it's going to be very traumatic."

"There, now yer talkin' laddie! Can ye confirm an appointment for me wife next Tuesday then?"