FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Started by admin, August 16, 2005, 05:19:08 AM

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OzJohnnie

#38325
Well, folks, I just finished a dinner of hor fun style rice noodles with "thickened gravy".  If you ever happen to be eating dinner at the Westin Hotel restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, I recommend you avoid menu items with "thickened gravy".



Not feeling too hot.

EDIT: In case you were curious, it looks like everything is on the Interwebs:

  

OzJohnnie

tmerton emailed me a video from Oz the other day and I've taken the opportunity to make my first youtube upload.

Without further delay, I give you Rory Sabbatini, a golf course and a kangaroo in Jingle B*lls.
  

57Johnnie

Beautiful day in western Colorado. The only way it could be better is if I were fishing...................
or at a JOHNNIE football game.  :P
The older the violin - the sweeter the music!

finsleft

 An old Italian Mafia 'Don' is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed:
'Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you always remember me.'
'But, Grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?'
'Shuddup an'a lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna
have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a bigga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find your wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then ... heh... Pointa to your watch and say, 'Times up'?

   


Knightstalker

A prisoner escaped from jail. He broke into a house around the corner
on Elgin St and finds a young couple in bed.

He gets the guy out of bed and ties him up on a chair, ties the woman
to the bed and gets on top of her. kisses her on the neck , then gets
up and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his
wife; " Listen, this guy looks dangerous! He's probably spent a lot of
time in prison and has not seen a woman in a long time. If he wants
sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you. If he
gets angry , he may kill us. Be strong honey. I love you.


To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck he was
whispering in my ear. He told me he found you very sexy and asked if
we kept any vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong honey, I love you TOO!

"In the end we will survive rather than perish not because we accumulate comfort and luxury but because we accumulate wisdom"  Colonel Jack Jacobs US Army (Ret).

Kira & Jaxon's Dad

Some of you from St. John's U might remember this guy from the early 1990's:   ;)

Jim Ballard
National Champions - 13: 1993, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2008, 2012, 2015, 2017

finsleft

It must be Italian Day.



    ITALIAN BUSINESS SCHOOL

    Luigi (father): 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.'
    Son:               'I will choose my own bride!!!' 
    Luigi:              'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter..'
    Son:               'Well, in that case . . . ok'

    Next Luigi approaches Bill Gates.
    Luigi:              'I have  a husband for your daughter...'
    Bill Gates:      'But my daughter is too young to marry!!'
    Luigi:              'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank'
    Bill Gates:      'Ah, in that case . . . ok'

    Finally  Luigi goes to see the president of the World Bank.
    Luigi:              'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
    President:      'But I  already have more vice-presidents than I need!'
    Luigi :             'But this young  man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
    President:      'Ah, in that case . . . ok' 

    And that, my friends, is how Italians do business. 



     

BDB


janesvilleflash

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

Touchdown Tommy

Quote from: Willy Wonka on May 06, 2008, 01:41:06 PM
Word on the street is OAS has a little secret...

Yes I've heard he has some news to share with his pals.
Chasing MILFs since '82...

Johnnie Red

So I'm holding court in LeCenter today. One of the defense attorneys says hello to me. I ask him where he practices. He mentions Waseca, MN. I proceed to ask him if he knows the couple who won the Powerball lottery this past weekend. Lo and behold, he is their attorney and was with them yesterday at the press conference in Roseville. Always nice to have a positive experience while in court. :D

Kilted Rat

Now accepting new patients. All bills must be paid in scotch shortly after any services rendered.  Sorry TDT, no problems below the waist.


Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

snoop dawg

jans....+k for the Mississippi joke and KR, one for you and grandpa!

frankrickard

Happy belated bday fins.  I will have a bottle of the finest beer I can find in my fridge after I get off of work today.
Heaven isn't too far away,
Closer to it every day

snoop dawg

Kubiak....a friend of mine who served in Vietnam sent this to me.  Many of the guys on this board have expressed their appreciation for what you do, here is my thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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VETERAN,
not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the
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who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the
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who has given us freedom of speech.
 
It is the
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who has given us freedom to assemble.

   
It is the
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not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.



It is the
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not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the
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It is the
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