FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

Well, folks, I just finished a dinner of hor fun style rice noodles with "thickened gravy".  If you ever happen to be eating dinner at the Westin Hotel restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, I recommend you avoid menu items with "thickened gravy".



Not feeling too hot.

EDIT: In case you were curious, it looks like everything is on the Interwebs:

[OzJohnnie]

tmerton emailed me a video from Oz the other day and I've taken the opportunity to make my first youtube upload.

Without further delay, I give you Rory Sabbatini, a golf course and a kangaroo in Jingle B*lls.

[57Johnnie]

Beautiful day in western Colorado. The only way it could be better is if I were fishing...................
or at a JOHNNIE football game. 

[finsleft]

 An old Italian Mafia 'Don' is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed:
'Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you always remember me.'
'But, Grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?'
'Shuddup an'a lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna
have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a bigga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find your wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then ... heh... Pointa to your watch and say, 'Times up'?

   

[Knightstalker]

A prisoner escaped from jail. He broke into a house around the corner
on Elgin St and finds a young couple in bed.

He gets the guy out of bed and ties him up on a chair, ties the woman
to the bed and gets on top of her. kisses her on the neck , then gets
up and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his
wife; " Listen, this guy looks dangerous! He's probably spent a lot of
time in prison and has not seen a woman in a long time. If he wants
sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you. If he
gets angry , he may kill us. Be strong honey. I love you.


To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck he was
whispering in my ear. He told me he found you very sexy and asked if
we kept any vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong honey, I love you TOO!

[Kira & Jaxon's Dad]

Some of you from St. John's U might remember this guy from the early 1990's:   

Jim Ballard

[finsleft]

It must be Italian Day.



    ITALIAN BUSINESS SCHOOL

    Luigi (father): 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.'
    Son:               'I will choose my own bride!!!' 
    Luigi:              'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter..'
    Son:               'Well, in that case . . . ok'

    Next Luigi approaches Bill Gates.
    Luigi:              'I have  a husband for your daughter...'
    Bill Gates:      'But my daughter is too young to marry!!'
    Luigi:              'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank'
    Bill Gates:      'Ah, in that case . . . ok'

    Finally  Luigi goes to see the president of the World Bank.
    Luigi:              'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
    President:      'But I  already have more vice-presidents than I need!'
    Luigi :             'But this young  man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
    President:      'Ah, in that case . . . ok' 

    And that, my friends, is how Italians do business. 



     

[BDB]

Obama fund raiser in Wisconsin. 

[janesvilleflash]

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

[Touchdown Tommy]

Word on the street is OAS has a little secret...

Yes I've heard he has some news to share with his pals.

[Johnnie Red]

So I'm holding court in LeCenter today. One of the defense attorneys says hello to me. I ask him where he practices. He mentions Waseca, MN. I proceed to ask him if he knows the couple who won the Powerball lottery this past weekend. Lo and behold, he is their attorney and was with them yesterday at the press conference in Roseville. Always nice to have a positive experience while in court.

[Kilted Rat]

View from my golf cart........

As fins and my grandpa always says:

[snoop dawg]

jans....+k for the Mississippi joke and KR, one for you and grandpa!

[frankrickard]

Happy belated bday fins.  I will have a bottle of the finest beer I can find in my fridge after I get off of work today.

[snoop dawg]

Kubiak....a friend of mine who served in Vietnam sent this to me.  Many of the guys on this board have expressed their appreciation for what you do, here is my thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is the
VETERAN,
not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the
VETERAN,
not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the
VETERAN,
not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.
 
It is the
VETERAN,
not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

   
It is the
VETERAN,
not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.



It is the
VETERAN,
not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the
VETERAN
who salutes the Flag,

It is the
VETERAN
who serves under the Flag.