FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

janesvilleflash · March 06, 2010, 12:50:13 AM

A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course
and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the
swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary
payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons
to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving
drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down
behind the bar to the old golfer.

"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile,
"May I help you?"

The old golfer leans over the bar an whispers,
"I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "are you the
one who gives the hand-jobs? "

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs:
"Yes Sir, I sure am"

The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says softly,
"Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger."

OzJohnnie · March 06, 2010, 05:29:03 AM

I chuckled. The wife said it wasn't that funny. See what I'm working with, flash?

OzJohnnie · March 06, 2010, 07:09:16 PM

Headline of the day...

retagent · March 06, 2010, 11:22:18 PM

Since I was out of pocket for a week, pardon my tardiness with this response. The Semin/Boyle incident was one that baffled me. What may have been more baffling is the take by some hockey "pundits" such as Moron Mike Milbury. It was an obvious intentional premeditated intent to injure by Boyle, after what I perceived as a perfectly legal hit by Semin. The defense offered was that Semin hit him late in the game with a lopsided score. Funny, but I never knew of this particular penalty. If anyone has, please enlighten me. I have no idea why Boyle wasn't suspended by the IHF or whoever oversees these Olympic games. I wouldn't think it would have been out of line for Bettman to suspend, even though it wasn't an NHL game.

tmerton · March 07, 2010, 01:43:17 AM

Quote from: retagent on March 06, 2010, 11:22:18 PM
Since I was out of pocket for a week, pardon my tardiness with this response. The Semin/Boyle incident was one that baffled me. What may have been more baffling is the take by some hockey "pundits" such as Moron Mike Milbury. It was an obvious intentional premeditated intent to injure by Boyle, after what I perceived as a perfectly legal hit by Semin. The defense offered was that Semin hit him late in the game with a lopsided score. Funny, but I never knew of this particular penalty. If anyone has, please enlighten me. I have no idea why Boyle wasn't suspended by the IHF or whoever oversees these Olympic games. I wouldn't think it would have been out of line for Bettman to suspend, even though it wasn't an NHL game.

Maybe you and bennie would like to do this by PM? Please?

OzJohnnie · March 07, 2010, 05:14:26 AM

Quote from: tmerton on March 07, 2010, 01:43:17 AM
Quote from: retagent on March 06, 2010, 11:22:18 PM
Since I was out of pocket for a week, pardon my tardiness with this response. The Semin/Boyle incident was one that baffled me. What may have been more baffling is the take by some hockey "pundits" such as Moron Mike Milbury. It was an obvious intentional premeditated intent to injure by Boyle, after what I perceived as a perfectly legal hit by Semin. The defense offered was that Semin hit him late in the game with a lopsided score. Funny, but I never knew of this particular penalty. If anyone has, please enlighten me. I have no idea why Boyle wasn't suspended by the IHF or whoever oversees these Olympic games. I wouldn't think it would have been out of line for Bettman to suspend, even though it wasn't an NHL game.

Maybe you and bennie would like to do this by PM? Please?

There's not much else to read. No harm, no foul, I say. Kind of like the hit they are discussing.

janesvilleflash · March 07, 2010, 06:06:07 AM

Play on.

retagent · March 07, 2010, 10:26:08 AM

Maybe we should just get rid of all crimes that have the word "attempted" in them, such as Attempted Murder. No harm, no foul, Play on.

janesvilleflash · March 07, 2010, 11:25:43 AM

The "play on" from me was in reference to your pm'ing Bennie on the discussion, I felt it unnecessary and was saying post on. I don't know squat about hockey period, let alone an individual play or plays you are discussing.

OzJohnnie · March 07, 2010, 02:29:57 PM

Quote from: retagent on March 07, 2010, 10:26:08 AM
Maybe we should just get rid of all crimes that have the word "attempted" in them, such as Attempted Murder. No harm, no foul, Play on.

Anyone have a bonnet? Retagent has a bee that he needs to put somewhere.

We know you take your hockey seriously, but you were putting the foil on for the wrong guys.

warthog · March 07, 2010, 03:10:26 PM

Congratulations to Augsburg on the National Championship in Wrestling. They put on a very dominating performance in the early rounds to put the meet out of touch. W-LAX closed the gap a little with a strong showing in the finals, but there was little doubt when it came to identifying Augsburg as the best "team." The usual suspects of Augsburg, Wartburg and W-LAX led the field, but some other teams appear to be closing the gap. St. Johns and Concordia both had some impressive wrestlers in the tournament and both came away with a national champion performer.

My least favorite part of the tournament was when some doofus from Augsburg thought he had to shout someting during the presentation of the colors on Saturday morning. It was absoluely silent in the US Cellular Center as the colors were presented, until this a-hole screams out. I don't know what he yelled, but it was classless behavior. The guy's out burst made me cheer like a 6 year old at a soccer game everytime an Augsburg wrestler got beat in the finals. Sorry I judged the whole bunch on one bad banana, but the bum made me mad. I've been to enough Augsburg/Wartburg wrestling meets and football games to know this isn't normal behavior for your typical Augsburg fan. It just seems when we have young Americans fighting and dying on foreign soil an idiot like this should either close his mouth or stay the hell away from public events.

Sorry about my flag waving editorial, now back to your regular programming.

retagent · March 07, 2010, 05:23:08 PM

I do take my hockey seriously, but I was really just tweaking you guys - Hence, the "Old Grouch" emoticon.

janesvilleflash · March 07, 2010, 06:12:25 PM

Good, cause I never heard of the guys you were talking about. I only know Gretsky and Bobby Hull.

Kira & Jaxon's Dad · March 07, 2010, 07:17:42 PM

Quote from: janesvilleflash on March 07, 2010, 06:12:25 PM
Good, cause I never heard of the guys you were talking about. I only know Gretsky and Bobby Hull.

What about 'Old Time Hockey' and Eddie Shore?

tmerton · March 07, 2010, 07:50:24 PM

My bad - I apologize to bennie, retagent and everyone else. It just feels to me like being in the middle of a private conversation.