FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Touchdown Tommy · February 04, 2006, 12:17:52 PM

he he he

Kilted Rat · February 04, 2006, 12:23:34 PM

A Johnnie is about 20 years out of SJU and is the very wealthy successful owner of a major corporation. As such, he must fly back in to Minneapolis to be schmoozed by several Minnesota companies all hoping to sell their product to his company.

A young Tommie grad is the sexiest secretary at one of these companies, so her boss assigns her to take the Johnnie out to lunch on behalf of the company. He reminds her before he leaves that the Johnnie's company is very very wealthy and how much their company needs his business. He also tells her to be as respectful as possible and within reason to do anything the Johnnie wants.

The Johnnie meets her at the restaurant where they are to eat lunch and is smitten by her beauty. He immediately asks her to marry him.

Remembering what her boss had told her, she decided to try to let him down easy.

"I'll only marry you on three conditions," she says. "1 you must get me a 14 karat gold ring with a 10 carat diamond on it."

The Johnnie picks up his cell phone and calls his personal assistant and tells him to buy the jewelry immediately regardless of price. "Done, your jewelry will be here shortly."

A bit nervous, the young tommie decides to step it up a notch, "2nd, I want a 6 bedroom mansion on the east shore of Lake Minnetonka so I can watch the sun go down each night with a porsche in the garage and a weekend cottage on Gull lake of equal size and majesty."

The Johnnie calls his realtor and makes all the necessary arrangements re-assuring the realtor several times that money is not an issue and that he is 100% serious about this. "Construction on both will begin tomorrow at 7AM sharp, they will be finished by July."

By this point the Tommie is a bit shocked that he has actually gone through with all this, she is very turned on by the large amounts of money being spent on her, but still isn't sure she wants to marry a man 20 years her senior.

"My final demand is that you have a 10 inch penis."

The johnnie buries his head in his hands and cries for several minutes mumbling to himself all the while. After about 10 minutes of this, he looks up, dries his eyes and says, "OK, I'll cut it for you."

Veek · February 04, 2006, 12:43:59 PM

Nice to see you back TDT. I've been away from the boards for a few days and am about 30 pages behind now. Will post more after I catch up.

DuffMan · February 04, 2006, 01:50:16 PM

Frank Rickard-
I found a great little deal at my local liquor store. They are clearing out cases of Miller 1855 for $11.96, normally $5 for a 6-pack. Of course there was also Hamm's. No 24-packs, just 6-packs and 30-packs. If they would only put it in a 24-oz can or a 40-oz bottle, I'd be satisfied.

Touchdown Tommy · February 04, 2006, 02:09:14 PM

snooze Duffman snooze

DuffMan · February 04, 2006, 02:25:47 PM

You're lucky I've already smited you today. Sorry, TDT, I didn't notice if they had Zima on sale.

Touchdown Tommy · February 04, 2006, 02:38:51 PM

Can the color po-po please inform TDT what color "pick" is? Now I know I have a strong fashion sense, but the Greeks must have just invented a new color scheme.

Duffman: Careful son, I have access to the old picture archives as well...

frankrickard · February 04, 2006, 02:44:29 PM

duffman-
They're blowing miller 1855 out everywhere now because most of the dates on the stock are 2/6. You can get it for 11.99 a case here and over in willmar for 9.99. It's pretty good stuff...might pick one up myself today.

sju56321 · February 04, 2006, 02:47:07 PM

Ok, I think any guy for my daughter would need to prevail over her mother in a shotgun contest-so, most of you are out.

Actually, I think my daughter was checking out the pictures of the Tommie QB-I dread the thought.

DuffMan · February 04, 2006, 02:56:42 PM

Quote from: Touchdown Tommy on February 04, 2006, 02:38:51 PM
Now I know I have a strong fashion sense...

..and Duffman has gaydar. Beep, beep, beep, TDT!

DuffMan · February 04, 2006, 02:57:12 PM

Quote from: frankrickard on February 04, 2006, 02:44:29 PM
duffman-
They're blowing miller 1855 out everywhere now because most of the dates on the stock are 2/6. You can get it for 11.99 a case here and over in willmar for 9.99. It's pretty good stuff...might pick one up myself today.

Guess I'll have to drink it all this weeekend, then!

Johnnie Red · February 05, 2006, 07:39:14 AM

Ah, an evening spent eating bear, raccoon, elk, pheasant, buffalo, venison and duck.

Have to love the culinary variety here in Carver County. The only things missing were the eelpout and Stiftungsfest burger. Then, again, that is why they have the EelPout Festival in Walker next weekend and the Stiftungsfest celebration in August in NYA.

Touchdown Tommy · February 05, 2006, 10:10:26 AM

FYI: Duffman, finsleft, and other dedicated supporters of Hamm's, I believe KR is taking a dig at our 30 packs...

Quote from: kiltedrat on February 04, 2006, 10:08:24 PM
Bobby,

Hamm's is definitely not on par with the Labatts, Molson or Rolling Rocks of the world.

Its more along the lines of Busch.

Kilted Rat · February 05, 2006, 10:25:34 AM

No digs being taken at all, I just don't want the LLers mistakenly thinking Hamm's is a top shelf expensive beer and that we are snooty bastards with expensive taste!

Touchdown Tommy · February 05, 2006, 10:45:52 AM

Interesting spin, you sound like...