FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Garnet]

Garnet sent a film crew over to Frank Rickards. They came back with this footage of Frankie mowing the lawn.

[johnnyadmit]

Where did we go wrong??  Who woulda thought that there would be so many conservatives that have never worked a day in their lives and live on daddy's money, and poor liberals who work their asses off as their dads did before them....

[ritz72]

quote]

What if daddy is the Assistant Manager at the McDonalds?  That's where the big bucks are...

I thought we dismissed political talk on here last year.....Isnt the ban still in place??

[ritz72]

The only reason I work is because millions on welfare depend on me!!

[DuffMan]

Yeah for Ritz!!!  Have you brewed me any "Dirty Slut Ale" yet, bud?

[tmerton]

Someone needs to post the rules for the newguys, though the 4 smacks I took (make that 5 ) did convey a definite message.  I have removed the instigating post, though I venture to remind that it did involve beer and make fun of the French, so it wasn't all bad.

[ritz72]

Yeah for Ritz!!!  Have you brewed me any "Dirty Slut Ale" yet, bud?

Have to make a run to St. Cloud to get the ingredients...then look out!!

My Idea of Sept. 2nd is to get the monks to perform a "Blessing of Stiftungfest" Mass.  Followed by the holy tailgate meal, followed by the "Celebration of the Dominance".

[kubiack78]

Happy "Tommy Lange" day to all of you in the MIAC

[Buckman]

Two guys are sittin' in a boat on Pearl Lake fishing and
suckin' down Hamms when all of a sudden Mike says, "I think I'm going
to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Henry chugs his Hamms and says, "You better think it over - women like
that are hard to find."

(the names may or may not have been changed to protect the innocent)

[tmerton]

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in the Canadian back country as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.

After 6 months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a huge bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lank, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Now that the snow's melted, I'm have'n a party Friday night... thought you might like to come... about 5:00."

"Great," says Tom, "after 6 months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!"

As Lank was leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn ya...There's going to be some drinkin."

"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave Lank stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Tom says, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again, Lank turns from the door. "More 'n likely be some wild sex too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming up to the idea. "I've been all alone for 6 months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Lank stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want.  Just gonna be the two of us."

[tmerton]

An Irishman moves to the USA & finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batter's box, took a few swings and then hits a double.

Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run,Run."

The next batter hits a single & the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered "Run, Run."

The Irishman enjoyed the game & began screaming with the fans.

The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started his slow trot to first base.

The Irishman stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run ye bastard, run!"

The people around him began laughing. Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down.

A friendly fan noted the man's embarrassment, leaned over and explained - "He can't run - he's got four balls."

The Irishman stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, lad!"

[Whoa Nelly]

You Might Be A Lutheran If...
...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.
...you didn't know chow mein noodles were a Chinese food.
...when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.
...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.
...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.
...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
...you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
...you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

[johnnyadmit]

You Might Be A Lutheran If...
...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.
...you didn't know chow mein noodles were a Chinese food.
...when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.
...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.
...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.
...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
...you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
...you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

Amazing how accurate those are! 

[Johnnie Red]

Ah, Lutherans!!!!! If you grew up in Norwood, as I did, you were usually Catholic. The Missouri Synod Lutherans lived in Young America, the home of the Stiftungsfest. I still remember the arguments with my classmates who were Lutheran about how each of us were going to hell because of our faith.

Fortunately, the one thing that brought us together were the adult beverages consumed way before we were adults. If you could pronounce the word "beer," you were usually able to get served at the Stiftungsfest.

[Whoa Nelly]

I married a Missouri Synod gal from Mc Cleod county...she has definitely calmed down a bit over the years in the ELCA.

Mmm...jello