FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Touchdown Tommy]

Um Wonka no one watches soccer much less is intimidated by some fruit cake soccer player.  Duffman will own you on Sept. 2 and will have exerted such little energy doing so that he will pound OAS into oblivion as well.  Speaking of the weasel, I see he hasn't made too many (if ANY that I can see) changes to Stiftungsfestivities.com.

Ritzy: I hear Old Chitown has Hamm's.  Frank's been working his magic.

Any Johnnies go to The Local for the meet and greet with Mark Kennedy (besides ROR of course) last week??

Hope everyone has cleared the calendar for 12-21.  We have a line on 10-12 tix at face value for the game at Lambeau.

[Kilted Rat]

A husband and wife are standing in front of the bathroom mirror one morning finishing getting ready for work when the wife feeling down about her appearance says "My hair's a disaster, my arms are flabby, my breasts are sagging and my butt is too big.  I really could go for a compliment this morning."  The husband replies "Honey, you have perfect eyesight."

An oldie but goodie


A wife was talking to her husband one day and said that she would like a boob job.
The husband replies, "Just rub toilet paper between them and they'll double in size."
"How on earth would that work?" asked the wife.
"Not sure," said the husband, "but it sure as hell worked on your ass!"

[Touchdown Tommy]

Tmerton: Being a Stiftungsfestivities veteran I'll fill you in as the rookie.  We arrive at 8-9am in the Science Lot 2 on the East end of the FB Field.  Veek has the Black Denali loaded to the gills with Leinenkugel's Red or Honeyweiss.  Duffman brings Hang Your Balls golf.  JR cooks the burgers and reaches out to the opponents fans.  Dusty SJU (who is taken an extended off season hiatus) arrives with his brood and pounds the PBRs.  OAS wears the obnoxious/hideous orange jacket and MAC jerz (that is IF he comes to any Collegeville Stiffyfests this season).  Rent-a-cops are plentiful and can be annoying.  Fins arrives with the Pace Arrow and sets up his advertising on the Annex when you need to relieve yourself and opens the doors to the PA to reveal the shining brass pole and his Kool-Aid dispenser.  Red Hot Bennie arrives about 20 mins before kickoff as everyone is cleaning up and heading inside to take their seats.  Oh don't let me forget the usual 2-3 shotgunning competitions.  You will be baptized shortly thereafter into the community.

[finsleft]

Yeah, that World Cup Soccer game...wasn't it where France ran around while waiting for the US team and its allies to come and score goals for them. Then, when that didn't happen, they surrendered to Italy.

[DuffMan]

Um Wonka no one watches soccer ...

Couldn't have said it better myself.  I actually had to Google "Zidane" so that I knew what the hell you were talking about.  I'd even watch lacrosse before soccer.  

[Kilted Rat]

Let me correct this a bit and translate TDT-speak into English.

Tmerton: Being a Stiftungsfestivities veteran I'll fill you in as the rookie.TDT has been to severeal Stiffyfests, but missed the most important one of all in Dec 2003.  We arrive at 8-9am in the Science Lot 2 on the East end of the FB Field. It's more the South end of the football field than east, JR arrives at 8-9 stragglers start showing up 9-10 and beer starts flowing like wine and Johnnie alums begin flocking like salmon to capastrano shortly tehreafter. Veek has the Black Denali loaded to the gills with Leinenkugel's Red or Honeyweiss.This is true and they taste great as any beer made in Chippewa Falls Wisconsin by 73 peopole who care should be.  Duffman brings Hang Your Balls golf. Duffman loves hanging his balls even when there's no football involved. TDT, unfortunately does not have the equipment to participate in this endeavor JR cooks the burgers and reaches out to the opponents fans.  This is also true Dusty SJU (who is taken an extended off season hiatus) arrives with his brood and pounds the PBRs.  Dusty's brood consists of his wife and his evergorwing number of daughters thought to be in the 6-13 range.OAS wears the obnoxious/hideous orange jacket and MAC jerz (that is IF he comes to any Collegeville Stiffyfests this season). The orange jacket is pretty damn hideous, jerz= jersey. Also of note, OAS will pick against SJU as much as possible to rile up SJU fans. Rent-a-cops are plentiful and can be annoying. Also true. If they tell you to pour out your beverage and you choose to do so into your mouth, they are powerless, especially now that we have added another JD to our posse. The rent-a-cops are like junior high hall monitors who have grown up and were rejected from the Police academy due to intellectual and weight issues (too much of one and not enough of the other) and they are on a perpetual power trip. Fins arrives with the Pace Arrow and sets up his advertising on the Annex when you need to relieve yourself and opens the doors to the PA to reveal the shining brass pole and his Kool-Aid dispenser. Unfortunately I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Fins or the PA yet, so I have no comment on that topic. Red Hot Bennie arrives about 20 mins before kickoff as everyone is cleaning up and heading inside to take their seats. She wears pink and the hot part is accurate. Oh don't let me forget the usual 2-3 shotgunning competitions. Duff or Veek usually win while TDT holds purses of female competitors and takes pictures while simultaneously balancing his Zima in 1 hand. You will be baptized shortly thereafter into the community. It's similar but different from the Catholic version of baptizing. Either way you end up screaming shortly thereafter and everyone is happy.

[tmerton]

Um Wonka no one watches soccer ...

Couldn't have said it better myself.  I actually had to Google "Zidane" so that I knew what the hell you were talking about.  I'd even watch lacrosse before soccer.  

Duff - Since you already looked it/him up, I'll simply pass on the observation of one of my partners concerning the head-butt that Zidane put on the Italian player - "If soccer is ever going to make it in this country, they'll need more of that kind of thing."  (He's right, but they won't and it won't.)

Glad to hear you're starting to like lacrosse, Duff.

[BDB]

Yeah, that World Cup Soccer game...wasn't it where France ran around while waiting for the US team and its allies to come and score goals for them. Then, when that didn't happen, they surrendered to Italy.

Good observation, Fins.

And it all happened in Germany.

France can't win there by themselves.

[Pat Coleman]

Kenny Rogers is the AL starter?? Wasn't it just a few years ago he was absolutely awful with the Twins?

Rogers was 13-8 with the second-best ERA among those in the rotation all season.  His ERA was better than the league average.

[tmerton]

Let me correct this a bit and translate TDT-speak into English.

Tmerton: Being a Stiftungsfestivities veteran I'll fill you in as the rookie.TDT has been to severeal Stiffyfests, but missed the most important one of all in Dec 2003.  We arrive at 8-9am in the Science Lot 2 on the East end of the FB Field. It's more the South end of the football field than east, JR arrives at 8-9 stragglers start showing up 9-10 and beer starts flowing like wine and Johnnie alums begin flocking like salmon to capastrano shortly tehreafter. Veek has the Black Denali loaded to the gills with Leinenkugel's Red or Honeyweiss.This is true and they taste great as any beer made in Chippewa Falls Wisconsin by 73 peopole who care should be.  Duffman brings Hang Your Balls golf. Duffman loves hanging his balls even when there's no football involved. TDT, unfortunately does not have the equipment to participate in this endeavor JR cooks the burgers and reaches out to the opponents fans.  This is also true Dusty SJU (who is taken an extended off season hiatus) arrives with his brood and pounds the PBRs.  Dusty's brood consists of his wife and his evergorwing number of daughters thought to be in the 6-13 range.OAS wears the obnoxious/hideous orange jacket and MAC jerz (that is IF he comes to any Collegeville Stiffyfests this season). The orange jacket is pretty damn hideous, jerz= jersey. Also of note, OAS will pick against SJU as much as possible to rile up SJU fans. Rent-a-cops are plentiful and can be annoying. Also true. If they tell you to pour out your beverage and you choose to do so into your mouth, they are powerless, especially now that we have added another JD to our posse. The rent-a-cops are like junior high hall monitors who have grown up and were rejected from the Police academy due to intellectual and weight issues (too much of one and not enough of the other) and they are on a perpetual power trip. Fins arrives with the Pace Arrow and sets up his advertising on the Annex when you need to relieve yourself and opens the doors to the PA to reveal the shining brass pole and his Kool-Aid dispenser. Unfortunately I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Fins or the PA yet, so I have no comment on that topic. Red Hot Bennie arrives about 20 mins before kickoff as everyone is cleaning up and heading inside to take their seats. She wears pink and the hot part is accurate. Oh don't let me forget the usual 2-3 shotgunning competitions. Duff or Veek usually win while TDT holds purses of female competitors and takes pictures while simultaneously balancing his Zima in 1 hand. You will be baptized shortly thereafter into the community. It's similar but different from the Catholic version of baptizing. Either way you end up screaming shortly thereafter and everyone is happy.

I'm most appreciative to TDT and KR for this backgrounder on the Stiftungsfestivities.  We'll be rolling in directly from the airport, so beer for breakfast should taste pretty good.   8)

[Willy Wonka]

D3football guru/baseball know-it-all - Compare his record and stats that year to that of the year before and his performance since. Performance is subjective.

Here, I'll even spell it out for everyone.

2002 - Texas, 13-8, 210 innings, 212 hits, 3.85 ERA
2003 - Twins, 13-8, 195 innings, 227 hits, 4.57 ERA
2006 - Tigers,  11-3, 114 innings, 110 hits, 3.85 ERA

His 2003 numbers are Lohse-esque.

I'm in World Cup withdrawal and have nothing better to do than research old baseball facts...

[Touchdown Tommy]

Closed Circuit to MIAC PP: Read at your own risk

The reality is that Johan, Roy Halladay, or Jose Contreras would be starting tomorrow night in Steel town if they had not pitched on Sunday. 

Tmerton: I would recommend you take our comments with a grain of salt.  While most of what I say is true, KR has a way of bending the truth...

Willy don't flatter Lohse like that.  He is a chump and should be down the road sooner rather than later.

[finsleft]

I'm most appreciative to TDT and KR for this backgrounder on the Stiftungsfestivities.  We'll be rolling in directly from the airport, so beer for breakfast should taste pretty good.   8)

Since we'll be starting at 8 a.m., that'll be 6 a.m. your time. Sounds late enough to crack open a Hamm's to me.  8)

[Pat Coleman]

D3football guru/baseball know-it-all - Compare his record and stats that year to that of the year before and his performance since. Performance is subjective.

Here, I'll even spell it out for everyone.

2002 - Texas, 13-8, 210 innings, 212 hits, 3.85 ERA
2003 - Twins, 13-8, 195 innings, 227 hits, 4.57 ERA
2006 - Tigers,  11-3, 114 innings, 110 hits, 3.85 ERA

His 2003 numbers are Lohse-esque.

That does not rise to the level of "absolutely awful" as you originally put it, however.

Why did you leave out 2004 and his 4.76 ERA? Seems like a little selective editing.

[Pat Coleman]

BTW, Strib reporting Liriano is an All-Star, replacing Jose Contreras, citing Twins club sources.

http://www.startribune.com/509/story/543359.html