FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[KennethK]

Been waiting for a Cobber fan to check in.  Who will we see at QB..Rodel, Nelson, Scott Schumacher?

[Whoa Nelly]

As people finally see Sportscenter tonight and see the soccer play I brought up earlier, I will make another point that's football related. The Concordia guys should remember this one with a chuckle...

My freshman year, we were playing the Cobbers on the hill at GAC. I caught a seam pattern, but Walter Sobchak led me a little too close to the opposite hash mark. I caught the ball and had just enough time to look up and see the fat safety ready to clean my clock. He did just that, putting his helmet on the ball and sending it roughly 30-40 feet in the air as players crambled to recover the fumble. Me? I was laying on the ground sucking air.

As Mongo and Frank can attest from film review, it looked eerily similar to the play that happened yesterday.

*For reference, this is NOT a good way to make a good first impression with the chicks on campus. "Oh, you're that guy that got piss pounded and fumbled earlier today, right?" 

I believe I remember that play if it was during the 2000 season.  We had two fat safeties that year - one graduated and other was moved to LB the next year...replaced by another fat safety...me.

Someone could have given the fair catch signal for as high as that ball was...

[Whoa Nelly]

Been waiting for a Cobber fan to check in.  Who will we see at QB..Rodel, Nelson, Scott Schumacher?

My offseason news comes from this board and you have to skip through 10 pages of Hamm's and Johnnies to find something football related - so it is few and far between.  I do pull some good email forwards from the board though.  

At the end of last year a fellow former Cobb had heard it was Rodel's job for the taking.  Rodel is a very good athlete but I doubt he has a lot of snaps under his belt.  I envision him a Hebrink - All-Conference against the Hamline's of the world but struggling against the SJU's.

Just call Terry Horan and ask him 

[Kilted Rat]

Speaking of good forwards, this one was sent to me by a NWC poster:


The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:  BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of  the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:   NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS  IS WILD AND FREE!
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life.  So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!

[finsleft]

Since you broke the string of 5 non-Johnnie posts in a row, I might as well add this funny...

Subject: Jewish & Funny
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love
and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and
sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?
The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."
>~+~+~+~+~+~++~+~+~+~+~+~
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women
like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~++~+~+~
There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after
it graduates from medical school.

>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror
movie?
A: It's called Debbie Does Dishes.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check
came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good", says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man says, "That's terrible! Why haven't you eaten in 38
days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled
with food if you should call."
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's
been given a part in the school play.
Wonderful! What part is it?" replies his mother.
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls "That's terrible. Go back and tell the teacher
that you want a speaking part."
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
> >~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q - How does a Jewish mother change a light bulb?
A -(Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want I
should bother anybody.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
Force yourself" she replied.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish
Mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
>~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Jewish telegram: "Start worrying. Details to follow."

[janesvilleflash]

OY VEY!

[Maroon&Gold]

Been waiting for a Cobber fan to check in.  Who will we see at QB..Rodel, Nelson, Scott Schumacher?

From talking to my bro, and other guys in the program. It seems to be Mr. Rodel's job this fall, I think that the Cobber offense will be in good hands. 

Nelly, remember when Fisher and Halliday were the starting corners at one time, now that is a secondary to build around.

[Willy Wonka]

Point of interest from today's AP wire:

Four small Minnesota schools will soon have a better shot at the NCAA Division III football playoffs.
   Crown College, in St. Bonifacious, Martin Luther College, in New Ulm, Northwestern College, in Roseville, and Minnesota-Morris will join the St. Louis Intercollegiate Athletic Conference as football-only members to form a 10-team league in the 2008 season, the revamped conference announced Tuesday.
   A championship game, expected to rotate between Minneapolis and St. Louis, will be played at the end of the regular season, and the winner will receive an automatic bid to the Division III playoffs starting in 2010. Other schools in the St. Louis conference are located in Illinois and Missouri.
   Crown, Martin Luther, Northwestern and Minnesota-Morris play in the Upper Midwest Athletic Conference in all other sports. The UMAC is in the process of moving up from the NAIA to the NCAA's Division III, and several members already have that status.

[Pat Coleman]

 Good of AP to notice. This was actually front-page news on June 20:

http://www.d3football.com/notables.php?item=1030

Thankfully this will probably take a bid from Pool B, not from Pool C.

[DuffMan]

...so you're saying there's a chance.

Monmouth would pound the piss out of all those schools, and we saw how they stacked up last year.  At least their fans were cool (even if one of them couldn't stop bragging about his Roush ().

[piperinsider]

10 dollars in my wallet. Hamm's 30 pack is $11.99. What do I do? Pick up a 12er of Old Style for $5.99. Me, Old Style and the All-Star Game. Nice little evening I got planned.

Eric Rodel was a quarterback in like 2002. At BOLD High School. Probably still better than what my team's got.

Go Cisco, Johan and Mauer Power!

[tmerton]

Nice ring, Duff.  Glad you got rid of that ugly dude.  8)

[DuffMan]

Yeah, I was getting sick of that dude's ugly mug.

[Kilted Rat]

Yeah, I was getting sick of that dude's ugly mug.

That would make a lot of us



PI,
If only you lived in Iowa, you could have scrounged in the dumpster for cans at the 5 cent a can return rate to make up the extra $1.99+tax... although you'd still have to pay 5 cents per delicious can deposit, quick math says $1.50 in can deposit + $2.60ish including tax = $4.10= 82 cans... maybe you could have found piece of cardboard, a sharpie and some shabby clothes and played the homeless dude care and begged money outside the liquor store.

[Kilted Rat]

Anyone else slightly uncomfortable that the Flomax ads mention "decreased semen production" as a side effect?

I'm cool with the Viagra ads and talking about going to the ER if you have a 4 hour boner (actually by 4 hours there's already permanent damage done... go in 2-3 hours to be safe), but theres something disturbing about discussing semen volume on TV.


Flomax is a drug for Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy (BPH) a condition relatively common in older men that makes it difficult to pee. Flomax helps decrease prostate size. The Prostate is contributes I believe 30-60% of the volume of semen, so this is accurate, I just don't wanna think about it during baseball.