FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

I read an article about some genetically engineered goats that will product some blood clotting medicine in their milk.  Best be careful of messin' with nature.  The Kiwi's have been doing it for years with sheep and there are documented results of what can go wrong...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2nnab_black-sheep-trailer_creation

(Reference two jokes that may get missed:  One, the "what are you doing in here?" and two, the mint sauce used as a holy water type repellent.  Stupid Kiwis.)

[CobberFvr]

Another picture of my pot smokin', dine and dashin' former Miss Teen Louisiana girlfriend who doesn't give a damn.

                              l
                             V
                             V
                             V
                             V

Damn!! 

[tmerton]

I read an article about some genetically engineered goats that will product some blood clotting medicine in their milk.  Best be careful of messin' with nature.  The Kiwi's have been doing it for years with sheep and there are documented results of what can go wrong...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2nnab_black-sheep-trailer_creation

(Reference two jokes that may get missed:  One, the "what are you doing in here?" and two, the mint sauce used as a holy water type repellent.  Stupid Kiwis.)

That's a problem we'll just have to eat our way through.  More lamb in the lamb cossoulet, please!  Every week here will be Easter from now on.

BTW, much better sound when you watch the trailer at the official movie website:

http://www.blacksheep-themovie.com/

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

A: Because sheep can hear zippers.

[tmerton]

And for the Ohio State fan here, maybe this will help bring your fever down.

[BDB]

Separated at birth?

     

Tonya Harding then........and now. 

[BDB]

Separated at birth?

   

Tonya Harding   and    Lee Harvey Oswald   

http://www.tonyahardingshotjfk.com/tonyaharding.html     

[OzJohnnie]

An abbey was in financial difficulties, and to increase its income the brothers decide to open a fish and chips business.

One day the abbey doorbell rang and one of the brothers went to welcome a customer.

When he opened the door the customer said, "Are you the fish fryer?"

The brother said, "No, I'm the chip monk."

[CobberFvr]

And for the Ohio State fan here, maybe this will help bring your fever down.

[snoop dawg]

Buckeye.....I feel your pain.  My two favorite team Ohio St. and Penn St. both got dumped. 

BTW......Happy Birthday Elvis......I think I saw him last week on Hollywood Blvd.  Another snoop celebrity sighting!

[OzJohnnie]

I thought I would give the news bit a break, but this gem from Canada cannot be resisted...

"Juanita Stead gives birth to boy after trip to hospital 'suffering from kidney stones'"

Coincidentally, the birth of her first child, two-year-old Cameron, also caught her off guard.

Mrs Stead knew she was pregnant with Cameron, she said, but he arrived two months early.

"I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and out he popped, right into the toilet," she said.

Her husband scooped their first-born out the toilet and put him in his mother's lap until an ambulance arrived, she said.

[Mr. Ypsi]

When I had kidney stones my wife's office mate was kind enough to pass along the information that she'd had kidney stones and given birth (twice), and kidney stones were much worse.  Thanks, Debbie!

[I've never given birth, but if the reverse were true the human race probably would have gone extinct.]

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.  He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.  Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.
 
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
 
A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.  At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. 
 
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.  After a few seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.


Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. 
 
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.  Are you a doctor?'
 
'No,' the woman replied.  'Divorce attorney.'

[tmerton]

 
'No,' the woman replied.  'Divorce attorney.'

"IRS agent" is the way I heard it.

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

 
'No,' the woman replied.  'Divorce attorney.'

"IRS agent" is the way I heard it.

Both work 

[OzJohnnie]

Well, cricket season is is full swing Down Under.  Cricket is best described as a cross between baseball and a shot of Novocain to the temple with a horse vet's needle.  Only you get none of the fun of baseball and all of the pain of the injection.



(Pictured here is retired Australian representative David Boon flicking a ball off his pads.  Boonie is known as the patron saint of unbelievably slow play.  Ghandi could starve before Boon's innings finished.  Boonie, nicknamed the "Keg on Legs", is also the confirmed king of beer drinkers, helping Australia maintain a mantle that may never be surpassed.  Boon infamously vomited from a hangover on national television while batting in a match in Adelaide and is the record holder for beers consumed on a flight from Sydney to London at 55 cans.)

One good thing about the sport however, is that it funded the development of the Melbourne Cricket Ground, which is a cracking venue for open air events.  Particularly Friday Night Football: