FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[tmerton]

Nice article on the AFCA convention this past week, with a mention of Gags.

http://football.victorysportsnetwork.com/article.php?articleID=8999

[BDB]

Boy George is looking good these days. 

[CobberFvr]

Which one of the posters here is the MNF producer for ESPN?  Is it Freebird?  He was mentioning that he may be making it down this way for the Oz Open tennis.  I'm wondering if'n I may be having a visitor.  I'll need to let ma know to get the vittles prepared.

Yeah it's Freebird.

[finsleft]

Two Tommies were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest Tommie asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?' 
The second Tommie replies......
"No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!'

[tmerton]

So I'm talking to a client down in Southern California whom I've talked to over the years and we often chat because we both had sons attend this other Catholic school in Indiana.  This time he mentions he has a son living in Minnesota, and it turns out he attended SJU!  Good grief, he's a Johnnie!  Seems he went there to study music and now lives in the cities where he also plays in a band called WookieFoot.  Anyone heard of it?  Interesting website, too. 

Ah, those six degrees.

[tmerton]

  Ole and Sven were fishing on the opener when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.
  'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
  'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'
  'Vell,' replied Ole, 'I got it from my Genie.'
  'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.
  'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.
  'Could I see him?'
  Ole opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie.
  Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'
  'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.
  So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.
  The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
  Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks....flying directly overhead.
  Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'
  Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"

[snoop dawg]

I am on a golf weekend in Scottsdale Az. While paying a course set up by a buddy, we have to play with a host, a pro at the club. He is a young guy who hits the ball a mile and is making birdie after birdie. We get to talking and I find out he is a recent johnnie grad, Clinton Dammon(sp?). What a great kid. I was really impressed with him and we had a blast. He won the 2007 d3 individual championship. It is a real compliment to SJU if it's grads are anything like him. Small world.

[snoop dawg]

Sorry can't edit from my bberry. His name is Clinton.

[sjusection105]

I am on a golf weekend in Scottsdale Az. While paying a course set up by a buddie, we have to play with a host, a pro at the club. He is a young guy who hits the ball a mile and is making birdie after birdie. We get to talking and I find out he is a recent johnnie grad, Clointon Dammon(sp?). What a great kid. I was really impressed with him and we had a blast. He won the 2007 d3 individual championship. It is a real compliment to SJU if ther grads are anything like him. Small world.

Yes Snoop, young Clint is quite a golf stud. I believe he hails from Glencoe, MN.

[Johnnie Red]

Clinton is from Glencoe. I got to meet him in the fall of `07 when they introduced the national championship team at a Johnnie game. He knows my Bennie niece, who is from Norwood Young America, which is ten miles east of Glencoe.

[janesvilleflash]

The spoon:   A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

  Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, theyconcluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

[retagent]

Just back from So Cal. Temps were in the 80's all week. Played golf every day.   :(It's good to be home

[snoop dawg]

Now that I am home and can see what I am typing, I just want to say that Clinton is attempting to turn pro and needs sponsorship to help pay expenses. 

I have watched pro golf for many years, up close and live.  I honestly believe if he can make the tour if given the chance.  He hits it extremely long and extremely straight, and can really putt.  He has a very consistent swing.  I didn't see him hit one shot all day that was off line in the least little bit. 

He is looking for guys to help sponsor him so, I thought I would let the johnnie faithful know in case anyone might be interested. 

Again, what a great kid.

[snoop dawg]

What a drastic weather change.  Hope you had a great time in So. Cal.

[tmerton]

Always looking for some Johnnie Magic, but I must settle for just a little good luck.