FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

I love the clip were the bike racer flops down out of the way of an oncoming bike and is missed by literally one or two hairs.

[tmerton]

I love the clip were the bike racer flops down out of the way of an oncoming bike and is missed by literally one or two hairs.

How 'bout the bank robbers?  (Actually, that's the one that seems staged to me; either that or the Keystone Cops were real cops.)

[OzJohnnie]

Interesting trend at the oz open this year.  Hot chicks in short shorts are always abundant.  Very comon this year, however, are the hot chicks is the billowing short cotton summer dresses.  Very... Distracting.

Also distracting is a client's name I was researching today in prep for a first meeting.  The spelling of her name is, to my surprised delight, is one character removed from the spelling of a Playboy centerfold's spelling.  That may have been the most surprising google search I have ever done.

[BDB]

=   

Somebody probably needs to embiggen this.

[DuffMan]

Here you go:



Too funny!

[tmerton]

=   

Somebody probably needs to embiggen this.

They have shopping carts at Bob and Steve's?

[DuffMan]

They have shopping carts at Bob and Steve's?

[57Johnnie]

Here you go:



Too funny!

+k for that guys -------- hilarious

[tmerton]

From the Sporting News report on the American Football Coaches Association convention that just finished last week:

Gagliardi kills at AFCA convention

Nothing at last week's AFCA convention topped legendary coach John Gagliardi's speech to accept the group's Amos Alonzo Stagg Award. The 82-year-old Gagliardi, the head coach at St. John's College for 56 years, cracked up a roomful of his peers with a set of one-liners about his age and experiences. For starters ...

• He discussed the three phases of knowing he had become an old man. First, he said he forgot to zip up, an obvious reference to his pants. Next, he said he forgot to zip down. The third? "Ah, I don't remember the third thing," he said.

• On the three stages of life: "Youth, middle age, and 'Boy, you're looking great.'"

• On his epitaph: "I'd rather be coaching."

Gagliardi also got to meet Penn State coach and fellow octogenarian Joe Paterno at the event. Gagliardi leads JoePa in national titles (4-2), victories (461-383) and grandkids (19-16, though Joe said No. 17 is on the way).

[finsleft]

Flash drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.

Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Wisconsin State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the trooper.

[DuffMan]

From the Sporting News report on the American Football Coaches Association convention that just finished last week:

Gagliardi kills at AFCA convention

Nothing at last week's AFCA convention topped legendary coach John Gagliardi's speech to accept the group's Amos Alonzo Stagg Award. The 82-year-old Gagliardi, the head coach at St. John's College for 56 years, cracked up a roomful of his peers with a set of one-liners about his age and experiences. For starters ...

• He discussed the three phases of knowing he had become an old man. First, he said he forgot to zip up, an obvious reference to his pants. Next, he said he forgot to zip down. The third? "Ah, I don't remember the third thing," he said.

• On the three stages of life: "Youth, middle age, and 'Boy, you're looking great.'"

• On his epitaph: "I'd rather be coaching."

Gagliardi also got to meet Penn State coach and fellow octogenarian Joe Paterno at the event. Gagliardi leads JoePa in national titles (4-2), victories (461-383) and grandkids (19-16, though Joe said No. 17 is on the way).

Hmmm, I didn't know that Gagliardi coached at Saint John's College 

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

A contestant on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money.

As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover: Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:

A) the condor;
B) the buzzard;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative.


She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.

"C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.

"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two seconds later, Regis said, "I regret to inform you that the answer is.... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"

A few days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. "Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something?  It was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way, how did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on." said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

[OzJohnnie]

Good golly.  Deer season will not be the same this year:



The BulletFlight app, which costs £6.99 to download from the iTunes store, has been developed by Runaway App to turn the iPod touch into a ballistics computer which the company says can provide "quick solutions in the field".

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

wow, has this board died or just gone into hibernation?

[Johnnie Red]

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE:

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: this is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here. This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot.' This is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome.' That will being on a 'whatever').
8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!
9. Don't Worry About It, I Got It: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a women has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.