FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[finsleft]

Gotta love the south...

Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee, and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000,  minus 14%, how much would you take off?' 
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my earrings.' 
   
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the  weight of an eight-point buck.
'Where's Henry?' the others asked. 
'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the  successful hunter replied. 
'You left Henry laying out there, and carried the deer back?' they inquired. 
'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!' 

Texas
The Sheriff  pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?'
'Yep', he  replied. 'That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.' 

Louisiana 
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.'
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world. 

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the  parking lot!'
Bubba asked,  'Did you see who it was?' 
The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

Georgia 
A Georgia State Trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75.
The trooper asked the driver, 'Got any  I.D.?' 
The driver replied, 'Bout whut?' 

North  Carolina 
A man in North  Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one  behind it. 
Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,  'I have a flat tire.' 
The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?' 
The man  responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'

And this from South Carolina
'You can say what  you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North 
   

[OzJohnnie]

I'll say this - it beats the weekend ARF report.

It sure does.  The Mighty Fighting Hawks are not so mighty fighting this season at all.  They played an abysmal game against Adelaide over the weekend and are just not driven with the hunger to excel that is needed.  They are full of talent and are hoping that talent is enough, but it takes hunger too.  Well, I got my season tickets and that will have to do.

[OzJohnnie]

Nooooo.....  SJU loses Kottom, the returning O guard, to a re-torn Achilles during his rehab for the originally torn Achilles.  With great trepidation is this season approached...

The loss of Kottom means the Johnnies must replace both starting guards from a year ago. All-MIAC right guard Dan Gamache graduated.

Obviously, we hope he recovers well.  But I can't help but saying, "Damn!"

[OzJohnnie]

"Hire boat hero saves drowning man with vacuum hose"

Bluey's Boathouse owner David Thomson said the man, whose name is John, was operating an excavator when it collapsed into the water yesterday.

For almost 10 harrowing minutes Mr Thomson and the man's co-worker struggled to keep the drowning man's airways above the Mordialloc Creek surface in Melbourne's south...

When a witness brought a vacuum cleaner hose to him, Mr Thomson blew down the tube to the submerged man.

"He was able to take a few breaths," he said...

"To see where he came out of, it's unbelievable that he is still alive," [the paramedic] said.

[janesvilleflash]

Sporting News 2009 D3 Pre-Season Poll
1. UW-Whitewater
2. Mount Union
3. St. John's
4. Mary Hardin-Bayor
5. Delaware Valley
6. Rowan
7. Hardin-Simmons
8. North Central
9. Wartburg
10. Wabash
11. Monmouth
12. Curry
13. Washington & Jefferson
14. Christopher Newport
15. Wesley
16. Bridgewater (Va.)
17. Hobart
18. Johns Hopokins
19. Wheaton (Ill.)
20. Case Western Reserve
21. Cortland
22. Redlands
23. UW-La Crosse
24. Lycoming
25. Otterbein

[OleHog74]

Yeah, I know everyone is going to hate me for this, but I gotta ask.  What did St. Johns do last year to warrant a #3 preseason ranking?  I know reputation has a LOT to do with it, but although they had a decent season this past year, I just don't see that translating to a #3 in the country ranking.

Of course, I don't know the full story behind the Johnnies this year.  Maybe they have some returners or stud transfers that I don't know about who are going to make this team great.  But from what I saw last season, they are definitely top 25, MAYBE top 15 but certainly not #3.

[OleHog74]

Ahhh, I suppose they did lose to Whitewater in the first round, so that says something.  But I still stand by it.

[stanbob]

Hog, I have to admit I had the same thoughts when I saw this.  I can only assume that TSN is pretty lazy when it comes to D3 football and it's all on reputation.  But you are going to have to expand your posts and start including hockey and/or baseball and/or fishing and/or hunting posts.

[OzJohnnie]

My bet placed now:  the year after Gagliardi retires, the Johnnies will be ranked no higher than 15.  Unless his replacement is also named Gagliardi, in which case they will be ranked no lower than 10.

[OzJohnnie]

Bet adjustment: A replacement named Grant will also generate sufficient buzz for a top 10 ranking.

[tmerton]

Yeah, I know everyone is going to hate me for this, but I gotta ask.  What did St. Johns do last year to warrant a #3 preseason ranking? 

Beats the hell outta me.  I figured it was merely the case of someone who knows little about D3 football (in this case the Sporting News) lining up the usual suspects.  Who knows. 

[tmerton]

Unless his replacement is also named Gagliardi, in which case they will be ranked no lower than 10.

I am not touching this one.

[OzJohnnie]

Unless his replacement is also named Gagliardi, in which case they will be ranked no lower than 10.

I am not touching this one.

Come on, Nancy!  Show a little backbone!  

[DuffMan]

Yup, those rankings are based on reputation 

[OzJohnnie]

Time for another bear commercial?  For the Carlton Middie:

The Woman Whisperer

EDIT: And a second one I had forgotten about - Woman Speak