FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

A few bits and pieces...

First a tribute to every self-respecting man's wall, in my case as an early teen:



(Michael can get stuffed, although the best joke that has been created in the group of joke makers I've been emailing this morning is:

"Michael Jackson Dead: Confirmed that his body will be melted down for plastic toys so that children can still play with him")

And an interesting snap of the Sarychev Peak eruption:

[OzJohnnie]

If ever there was a group of people that can create humor from another's misfortune, it is the Aussie.  I've been living here long enough to laugh rather than feel guilty...

It is believed Michael Jackson thought he was drowning as he died.  Apparently, his last words were heard as, "Throw me a buoy!"

It was all a cover-up.  MJ actually died of suffocation not a heart attack.  Doctors didn't blame it on the sunshine; they didn't blame it on the moonlight; they didn't blame it on the good times; they blamed it on the boogie.

And this one, I think, is a steal from an earlier joke, yet still funny...

While investigating the death, LAPD visited the Neverland Ranch today.  It is being reported that they found Class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his bathroom...and Class 4C in his bedroom.

[Mr. Ypsi]

My guess is that MJ finally encountered an 8-year-old who fought back.

But RIP, Farrah Fawcett, the ONLY reason to watch Charlie's Angels (which I usually still didn't).

[OzJohnnie]

Footy update:

Chris Judd, the man with his nose smeared across his face two weeks ago, is playing tonight.  His nose is still swollen double and his eyes are as black as a a meth fiend on the back-end of a 5 day binge.  The cameras are following him around the field to see who is the first to give Judd a shot on the beak just to see how much the horn still hurts.

I'll keep you all updated, particularly tmerton, as I know you are busting to find out what happens.

[BDB]

I bought a new knife holder for my wife.

She didn't like it.

[tmerton]

I'll keep you all updated, particularly tmerton, as I know you are busting to find out what happens.

Pins and needles, Oz; pins and needles.  Don't forget the video.   As for football I can watch, I've enjoyed watching the Confderation Cup this past week (U-S-A!).  Then on to Wimbledon!   (Meanwhile, fall practice is still 45+ days away - grrrr.)

FYI, I'm attempting to double the number of AFL fans at the USTD game by trying to talk Peter into coming.

[finsleft]

Actually, they think MJ died from eating a 6 year old wiener.

Know why MJ likes twenty eight year olds?
Cuz there's twenty of 'em.

[Knightstalker]

Actually, they think MJ died from eating a 6 year old wiener.

Know why MJ likes twenty eight year olds?
Cuz there's twenty of 'em.

He choked on chinese food, he was eating Sum Yung Gai.

His last words were, "Take me to childrens Hospital"  Jokes curtousy of LLPP.

[Knightstalker]

I heard McDonald's is commemorating his death with the McJackson: 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

[OzJohnnie]

FYI, I'm attempting to double the number of AFL fans at the USTD game by trying to talk Peter into coming.

He gave me a ring the other day when he was in town.  He's a fun guy to talk to.

[OzJohnnie]

The worst news is that MJ died just as he was about make his performance comeback in the UK.  His management had to cancel two dates: one with Timmy, age 11, and another with Bobby, age 12.

[57Johnnie]

Am I the only one that got hacked? 

[janesvilleflash]

Must have been just briefly early this morning 57.

[retagent]

I'd like to take this opportunity to honor a Tommie.

Father H Timothy Vakoc died on June 20th after having been severly injured in a roadside bomb in Iraq in 2004. He was in a Huvee returning to his base after saying mass for the troops on the 12th anniversary of his ordination. He received severe head injuries including brain damage and the loss of an eye. Father Tim had been awarded the 2007 Distinguished Alumnus Award by the St Paul Seminary at UST. May he rest in peace.

[tmerton]

I'd like to take this opportunity to honor a Tommie.

Father H Timothy Vakoc died on June 20th after having been severly injured in a roadside bomb in Iraq in 2004. He was in a Huvee returning to his base after saying mass for the troops on the 12th anniversary of his ordination. He received severe head injuries including brain damage and the loss of an eye. Father Tim had been awarded the 2007 Distinguished Alumnus Award by the St Paul Seminary at UST. May he rest in peace.

RIP, Timothy

And I offer this prayer attributed to Saint Patrick - St. Patrick's Breastplate:

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through the belief in the threeness,
Through the confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment Day.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of demons,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.

AMDG