FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[cobbernation]

I finally broke down and introduced myself to Coach Caruso today.  I've seen him at my daughter's swimming lessons the past couple of days and my older brother knows him from various camps and clinics.   I have to admit that he's a very personable guy...for a Tommie.
It is also obvious that the Johnnies really need to keep up the pace on their recruiting efforts and not rest on past achievements.  Caruso is very energetic, positive, and upbeat and I can see why a high school kid would want to play for him.  I told him about www.Johnniefootball.com and he said he would check it out.  

I'm already working on my penance for such blasphemous comments:
Each day until Oct. 2nd I will be saying:
4 - Glory Be to John
27 - Hail Gagliardis
471 - Our Johns (add one for each after each victory this fall until October 2nd)

Faunch,

After telling him about JFC,did he mention the $150 M +UST has received in the past 10 years from donors fueling the building boom on campus 

No the $150 Mill did not come up...maybe it's time for some of Jays to pony up some cash for more upgrades.  I can see a screen the size of the one at Target field on the Palestra soon! 
I also predict the Johnnies will have update locker facilities in 5 years. 
He did ask me if I go to a lot of the games. 
I told him he probably won't be able to check out JF.com at work because they probably have that site blocked. 
In Hogwarts style my 6 year old daughter calls UST, "The college that must not be named."

The only upgrade the Johnnies need is to build a nice shelter for S-festivities!

[finsleft]

Drafting Guys Over 50
New Direction for any war:  Send Service Vets over 50!

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.


If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns...We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!!  How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??  Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!  If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

[finsleft]

OK, one more...Siamese twins in a bar.....

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip.  I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"
"Off to England next month," says John.  "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles.  Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.
"Ah,  England!" says the bartender.  "Wonderful country...the history, the beer, the culture..."
"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John.  "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English, they're so arrogant and rude."
"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.
"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

[OzJohnnie]

+k, fins.  It's been a while since the jokes visited this page.  About time for some more, I think.

[footy monologue]
It's was a brilliant performance by the Hawks yesterday as they bounced back from their heartbreaking two-point loss to Geelong last weekend.  Yesterday they dismantled the Brisbane Lions and dominated the score and match from the opening bounce.  It was a match similar to what we'll likely see from the Johnnies against Crown this year.

So, finals football looks very likely for the boys and a deep run is on the cards.  The wife booked a European Vacation (Pigs in Poke, Griswalds!!!) for our family right over the finals.  Good thing I love her.  (Good think I love her - sometimes I've got to repeat it so I don't forget...)
[/footy monologue]

[D O.C.]

I did play Pumpkin Ridge in Oregon in April.

It was raining, right?

The ONE time I got on it was foggy and one could not see any shot, not even puts.

Don't you guys worry about St. Thomas again, we aren't.

[sjusection105]

I did play Pumpkin Ridge in Oregon in April.

It was raining, right?

The ONE time I got on it was foggy and one could not see any shot, not even puts.

No rain or fog, but the ground was soggy and it was windy that day. It is always a treat to play a course that has hosted any kind of USGA Championship or a pro tour event.

[repete]

Ghost or Witch? We ought to get our good friends at Linfield to host the d3 championships there .... because they treat Johnnies so well out there.

Bandon wouldn't be bad either, but it's a bit far from the Catdome. Awesome golf state.

[D O.C.]

Let me invite any red & white person who is near Portland, OR, on Friday, October 15th, to play in the Bar West Classic at the country club in McMinnville. Green fees on me.

The name is a play on a college basketball tournament, the Far West Classic,  that was played in the defunct Portland Coliseum in the mid to late 1960's.
That is homecoming weekend and many LINFIELD Hall of Famers, ex-pros, and randy hellcats have started showing up.

DO NOT BET. Somehow Gig Harbor Cat and his other three spotters won the scramble one year with 14 under.

[sjusection105]

Ghost or Witch?

Ghost. I don't have good enough connections in the area for Witch,but perhaps in the future  

[tmerton]

A must for every good Catholic football fan - Pray for your team while you drive to the game - It will even work for those wrong-side cars in Oz-land.

Click here for demo

[johnnie tats]

must for every good Catholic football fan - Pray for your team while you drive to the game - It will even work for those wrong-side cars in Oz-land.


If they make that cover in "Johnne Red" I am sure the SJU bookstore will have it by kick-off 2010!

[Knightstalker]

A little gold story a friend sent KS.
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that, 'the Mother Superior agreed. So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...  and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky
and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished,' because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green,and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from
the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the ****in' putt, didn't you?'

[janesvilleflash]

congrats to a Johnnie.....very nice honor.

http://www.gojohnnies.com/news/2010/7/21/FOOTBALL_0721104850.aspx

[finsleft]

A must for every good Catholic football fan - Pray for your team while you drive to the game - It will even work for those wrong-side cars in Oz-land.

Click here for demo

They'll probably make that illegal, like texting! Funny stuff, just the other day I was talking with my sister about riding to the lake with Grandma, whose idea of the best way to pass the time in the car was to pray the rosary (unless the Twins were playing). She even kept spares in her glove box for us passengers who didn't always carry ours with us.
God bless grandmas!

[tmerton]

congrats to a Johnnie.....very nice honor.

http://www.gojohnnies.com/news/2010/7/21/FOOTBALL_0721104850.aspx

He was greatly impressed with meeting men who used vacation time each year to spend time working in the baths at Lourdes - some for more then 20 years.  Some of the work involved is not pleasant, but overall it is apparently very gratifying.