FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

I just saw the RSS feed from St John's so I thought I would quickly drop in and congratulate your son, tmerton.  And good taste almost prevents me from questioning the truth behind a claim to be working in baths in France.  Kind of like a Where's Waldo mission to find those baths.

[finsleft]

My congrats as well to SJU #13. Nice job!

Are any of you SJU alums/fans interested in playing in Pete & Tony's Golf Event in Albany August 30th? LMK, I'm looking for a team.

https://secure.www.alumniconnections.com/olc/pub/SJNU/events/SJNU2300243.html

[tmerton]

Looks like a good deal, Fins - fee includes golf, cart, prizes and dinner.

Golf

Cart

Prizes

Dinner

Nothing about beer, though. 

[tmerton]

GOLF  LESSON
A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little.'

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.'

The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.' She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.

"If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.'

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.'

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. 'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.'

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme, sweetheart.'

The blonde smiled and said, 'Your car or mine?'

OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WINS OUT AGAIN! 

[faunch]

A woman was cleaning her husband's dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.
The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.

The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer?

The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

[OzJohnnie]

[footy monologue]
And in another finals worthy contest, Hawthorn and St Kilda battle to a tie.  Inaccurate kicking on the part of Hawthorn cost them another chance at victory, but then St Kilda made the most of every chance they got.  It's looking very dangerous for the other teams in the post season.  Hawthorn are looking very strong.
[/footy monologue]

[faunch]

I spent the afternoon in Collegeville yesterday.  Took a walk around campus w/ my 6 year old daughter and of course spent a little time at Clemens Stadium.  It got me looking forward to this fall and hopefully another great Johnnie season.  It led me to pop in my own little highlight DVD of the 2003 Stagg Bowl.  Man was that ever a great game.  Lots of big plays on both sides of the ball...I got goosebumps.....and by the way...that #2 for the St. John's sure could play.

[tmerton]

Michael Floyd is a great receiver - but his 'other sport' in high school obviously was not baseball

[faunch]

Michael Floyd is a great receiver - but his 'other sport' in high school obviously was not baseball

I'm 5'8", 180 lbs, and 41 years old and can honestly say that I am a better fastpitch softball player than Michael Floyd.  Granted I played men's fastpitch for 10 or more years but his swing is pathetic.  My 10 year old daughter has a better swing than him.  Four years at Cretin and that's all he's got?  Ouch!!!

[OzJohnnie]

Ha.  This little story is classic.

[tmerton]

Ha.  This little story is classic.

That was about 3 minutes too long.  If the people of Australia are lucky, what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas.

[OzJohnnie]

Ha.  This little story is classic.

That was about 3 minutes too long.  If the people of Australia are lucky, what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas.

Sheesh.  Grumpy.  Is dodge ball a particularly sore spot?

[kubiack78]

Ha.  This little story is classic.

That was about 3 minutes too long.  If the people of Australia are lucky, what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas.

Sheesh.  Grumpy.  Is dodge ball a particularly sore spot?

that was good Oz,  my aussie mate was laughing but I don't think he really enjoyed it like I did.

[tmerton]

Oz reports that he's been denied access to the board.  Ha!  I didn't think much of the dodgeball video, but I didn't think it was that bad.

Oz says he tried to log in from some flakey Hong Kong network, which apparently got him identified by d3football.com as some sort of Chinese or Russian hacker.  (Who knew?)  Serves him right for living on the wrong side of the equator.

[Pat Coleman]

Indeed -- he emailed me and I sent him some instructions for getting me the information I need to unblock his particular IP address.

Or he could wait until he leaves the hacker haven known as Hong Kong.