FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

A Tommie doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to the Johnnie-Tommie game up at the Natural Bowl. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts" and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts". And they all sat back down in their seats. After the Tommies got a first down on their opening drive, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke into applause and cheered. When the umpire penalized a lineman for holding the doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts!!!" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Thinking things were going well, the doctor decided to go get a drink and a hamburger, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a brawl involving more than a dozen spectators in progress. Finding his assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"  The assistant replied, "Well, everything was going just fine till a Johnnie supporter passed by and yelled PEANUTS!"

[sjusection105]

Why do UST coeds drive BMWs?

Because they can't spell Porsche.

[ChicagoTommie]

Why do JOHNNIES SUCK?



Because they do! 

[OzJohnnie]

A reminder to everyone to set up your machine to record College Game Day next weekend. I just set mine (11pm Saturday night). I'll have a sleep deprived weekend, methinks.

[faunch]

Why do JOHNNIES SUCK?



Because they do!

You will walk away from Collegeville wondering "Why didn't my boy go to school here?"

BTW>>>The only reason this ESPN thing is happening is that the game is at SJU.  I live less than a mile from U$T and there is no reason for ESPN to come to U$T.

[OzJohnnie]

Little Bobby was sitting in Kingergarden when the teacher asked each of the students what their older brothers did.

Mary answered first, "My brother is a fire fighter! He puts out fires and saves people every day!"

Next, Billy answered "My brother's a cop! He has a gun and drives around in a police car with the sirens on!"

Joey who sat next to Billy answered "My dad is a doctor, and everyday he helps sick people."

These common answers all circulated around the room, but Little Bobby would not answer, so the teachers asked him "Bobby, what does your brother do?"

Bobby calmly took a deep breath and said, "My brother works at a bar and takes his clothes off for other men for money, and sometimes if the offer is good enough, he will go to a cheap hotel and sleep with the other man."

The teacher shocked by this, took Bobby aside and asked, "Is that really what your brother does!?!"

Bobby replied, "No Miss. My brother plays for The University of St Thomas. I was just too embarrassed to tell the truth."

[repete]

A Tommie doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to the Johnnie-Tommie game up at the Natural Bowl. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts" and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts". And they all sat back down in their seats. After the Tommies got a first down on their opening drive, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke into applause and cheered. When the umpire penalized a lineman for holding the doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts!!!" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Thinking things were going well, the doctor decided to go get a drink and a hamburger, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a brawl involving more than a dozen spectators in progress. Finding his assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"  The assistant replied, "Well, everything was going just fine till a Johnnie supporter passed by and yelled PEANUTS!"

And, along that vein, the worst headline ever ...

[retagent]

A reminder to everyone to set up your machine to record College Game Day next weekend. I just set mine (11pm Saturday night). I'll have a sleep deprived weekend, methinks.

Just a caution. The feature on SJU is reported to be in the 6-8am(CDT) time slot according to the Press Release. I have set my DVR for that slot, and it is not listed as "College Game Day" which is later in the morning.  They may replay the segment then as well, but, be aware. If I'm wrong, I'm sure I will be corrected.

[sjusection105]

Situation: You and your family are stuck on a plane with a bunch of UST(d) coeds going to Cancun during spring break. How do you and your family steal the window seats?

Solution: Explain to the UST(d) coeds that all the seats going to Cancun are located in the middle row.

[BDB]

Why do JOHNNIES SUCK?



Because they do!

Hey Chicago Tommie,

You may want to work out the kinks in your material in smaller clubs before using it in the main show.

Your buddy,

BDB

[carletonknights]

Loving all the jokes on here!

First half was tight at Augsburg. Knights actually managed to have the lead at halftime. Unfortunately, second half was like night and day. Augsburg has some real good weapons. Sonnenfeld had a scary moment where it looked like he might have really hurt his arm, but he returned back to game and I'm sure all of Auggie-land breathed a deep sigh of relief. Anyway, some positives for the Knights and maybe they'll be able to knock off a team they're not supposed to.

[Mr.MIAC]

It looks like a few Tommies made it up to Collegeville a bit early. Whilst entertaining, I can't say much for the local hospitality...

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8

[OzJohnnie]

3 mates were trying to decide which bar to visit on the upcoming weekend.

The Johnnie supporter says, "I'm pretty well known at my regular place. I'll buy 2 or three pints, and then the bartender will throw one in for free."

The Royals supporter says, "I usually go to the pub down my street. The bartender free-pours, and I tip well, and every time I order a whisky, he pours me a double, but charges me for a single."

The Tommie supporter says, "There's this bar downtown. You never have to pay a cent for the booze, and you can drink anything you want. They'll give you a joint, and let you smoke it in the beer fridge, then at the end of the night, they'll bring you into the manager's office, where you can have all the sex you can handle, with multiple partners at the same time, if you want."

"No way!" protest the other two guys. "There's no bar like that on the face of the earth."

"Yes there is. I've never been there myself, but my sister was telling me about it just last week."

[OzJohnnie]

A Johnnie woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a guy in a Tommie sweatshirt sneaking through the neighbor's garden.

Suddenly the neighbor came from nowhere and smacked the Tommie over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly.  He then dug a grave and buried the body.

Astonished, the Johnnie got back into bed.

His wife said, "You're shaking.  What is the matter?"

"You'll never believe what I've just seen," said the Johnnie.  "That son of a bitch next door still has my shovel!"

[OzJohnnie]

A reminder to everyone to set up your machine to record College Game Day next weekend. I just set mine (11pm Saturday night). I'll have a sleep deprived weekend, methinks.

Just a caution. The feature on SJU is reported to be in the 6-8am(CDT) time slot according to the Press Release. I have set my DVR for that slot, and it is not listed as "College Game Day" which is later in the morning.  They may replay the segment then as well, but, be aware. If I'm wrong, I'm sure I will be corrected.

That's a bummer, man.  College Game Day is live at 11pm, which is 8am Saturday morning in Collegeville.  There is a Boise State v Virginia replay on before that.  Hopefully the SJU feature is posted on gojohnnies.com.  And maybe CGD will still have some SJU feature shots.  Hopefully it does.  I'm telling all my friends here to have a look and see the alma mater.