FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[GoldandBlueBU]

++ Mr. Bench.  That is one of the funnier original posts I've read on this board...

[faunch]

Linfield in their road whites. Also, I have absolutely no problem with this.

Improvised and most player-led...just fine. But I have mixed feelings about the Linfield Head Coach in the front row showing his knuckles and 10 year old Stagg Bowl ring. Is that cool? Is that family/leadership? Is that a players' moment that coach might want to watch rather than join? IDK

And shortly after the game, and not centered on the host team logo, and it appears it's something they've been doing all season as they have a number of selfies on the site.  Subtle differences but still enough of them to argue that the pictures are not all that similar.

I agree "d-train" that the coach wearing the ring kind of spoils the shot.

Scene: The Caruso kitchen. Coach and Mrs. Caruso are getting their children ready for school. Mrs. Caruso hands each one a lunch box and their backpack as Coach Caruso gives each one a hug and a kiss as they leave the house and get on the bus to go to school. Outside across the street, Faunch is in his car with binoculars, a fake mustache and eating slice after slice of Johnnie Bread.

Faunch: So classless. Gags would give his kids a hug and a kiss and THEN give them their lunch. And a bus? Gags would walk his kids to school. Man, Gags was so classy.

/Flashback sequence begins to when Faunch shook Gags' hand at an alumni banquet. Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch" plays softly in the background.

We now see Coach Caruso get into his car. Faunch can't believe his eyes, it's NOT the same car that Gary Fasching drives. Faunch gets out his note pad and writes "Classless Car" and triple underlines it. Coach Caruso then backs out of the driveway and Faunch tails him. Faunch follows Caruso for a few blocks and notices that Caruso put on his turn signal only 98 feet from his designated turn instead of the MNDOT's recommended 100. Faunch almost chokes on his Johnnie Bread. "How could a guy have any less class?" he thinks to himself. Caruso then parks in his designated parking space outside of the AARC.

Faunch: Unbelievable. A parking space? What is he, the pope? Gags and Fasching used old fashioned Johnnie hustle and grit to find a parking space AND despite there being a limited amount of parking space on campus STILL got the best spots. Just ordinary guys, using ordinary parking skills, extraordinarily well.

Cut to: Coach Caruso sitting in his office, drinking a cup of coffee and watching some game film. Faunch is wearing a UST maintenance uniform and still has on a fake mustache. He knocks on Caruso's door while carrying two halogen lights.

Faunch: Just here to change out the lights Coach Caruso.

Coach Caruso: Sounds good.

Faunch can feel the rage build up inside him as this was a test. Coach Caruso didn't insist that Faunch call him "Glenn" or get to know him. He then looks over and sees Caruso's breakfast sitting on his desk. An English muffin with jam. Faunch collapses. An aneurysm. Gags liked peanut butter on Johnnie bread. Before it all fades to black, Faunch's final thought is, "That breakfast is so classless. Just, no class at all."

You forget that John and Gary still use outhouses...Coach Caruso has a private bathroom!   

[BDB]

Very creative USTBench.

Hey ROR, didn't you promise us some pictures from Saturday?

I'm guessing a framed, autographed picture with Certificate of Authenticity of Touchdown Tommy and Chicago Tommie together would fetch a pretty penny on Ebay.

[DoubleO]

Linfield in their road whites. Also, I have absolutely no problem with this.

Improvised and most player-led...just fine. But I have mixed feelings about the Linfield Head Coach in the front row showing his knuckles and 10 year old Stagg Bowl ring. Is that cool? Is that family/leadership? Is that a players' moment that coach might want to watch rather than join? IDK

And shortly after the game, and not centered on the host team logo, and it appears it's something they've been doing all season as they have a number of selfies on the site.  Subtle differences but still enough of them to argue that the pictures are not all that similar.

I agree "d-train" that the coach wearing the ring kind of spoils the shot.

Scene: The Caruso kitchen. Coach and Mrs. Caruso are getting their children ready for school. Mrs. Caruso hands each one a lunch box and their backpack as Coach Caruso gives each one a hug and a kiss as they leave the house and get on the bus to go to school. Outside across the street, Faunch is in his car with binoculars, a fake mustache and eating slice after slice of Johnnie Bread.

Faunch: So classless. Gags would give his kids a hug and a kiss and THEN give them their lunch. And a bus? Gags would walk his kids to school. Man, Gags was so classy.

/Flashback sequence begins to when Faunch shook Gags' hand at an alumni banquet. Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch" plays softly in the background.

We now see Coach Caruso get into his car. Faunch can't believe his eyes, it's NOT the same car that Gary Fasching drives. Faunch gets out his note pad and writes "Classless Car" and triple underlines it. Coach Caruso then backs out of the driveway and Faunch tails him. Faunch follows Caruso for a few blocks and notices that Caruso put on his turn signal only 98 feet from his designated turn instead of the MNDOT's recommended 100. Faunch almost chokes on his Johnnie Bread. "How could a guy have any less class?" he thinks to himself. Caruso then parks in his designated parking space outside of the AARC.

Faunch: Unbelievable. A parking space? What is he, the pope? Gags and Fasching used old fashioned Johnnie hustle and grit to find a parking space AND despite there being a limited amount of parking space on campus STILL got the best spots. Just ordinary guys, using ordinary parking skills, extraordinarily well.

Cut to: Coach Caruso sitting in his office, drinking a cup of coffee and watching some game film. Faunch is wearing a UST maintenance uniform and still has on a fake mustache. He knocks on Caruso's door while carrying two halogen lights.

Faunch: Just here to change out the lights Coach Caruso.

Coach Caruso: Sounds good.

Faunch can feel the rage build up inside him as this was a test. Coach Caruso didn't insist that Faunch call him "Glenn" or get to know him. He then looks over and sees Caruso's breakfast sitting on his desk. An English muffin with jam. Faunch collapses. An aneurysm. Gags liked peanut butter on Johnnie bread. Before it all fades to black, Faunch's final thought is, "That breakfast is so classless. Just, no class at all."

Hilarious, Bench. Absolutely hilarious. Post of the year candidate.

To further aggravate picturegate, I read in the SC Times that SJU public safety is conducting DNA tests on animal scat found on the SJU logo which was discovered after the infamous picture was taken. Early indications have it as being Tomcat scat...rut row!

[hazzben]

Hilarious! +k

[Mr.MIAC]

Linfield in their road whites. Also, I have absolutely no problem with this.

Improvised and most player-led...just fine. But I have mixed feelings about the Linfield Head Coach in the front row showing his knuckles and 10 year old Stagg Bowl ring. Is that cool? Is that family/leadership? Is that a players' moment that coach might want to watch rather than join? IDK

And shortly after the game, and not centered on the host team logo, and it appears it's something they've been doing all season as they have a number of selfies on the site.  Subtle differences but still enough of them to argue that the pictures are not all that similar.

I agree "d-train" that the coach wearing the ring kind of spoils the shot.

Scene: The Caruso kitchen. Coach and Mrs. Caruso are getting their children ready for school. Mrs. Caruso hands each one a lunch box and their backpack as Coach Caruso gives each one a hug and a kiss as they leave the house and get on the bus to go to school. Outside across the street, Faunch is in his car with binoculars, a fake mustache and eating slice after slice of Johnnie Bread.

Faunch: So classless. Gags would give his kids a hug and a kiss and THEN give them their lunch. And a bus? Gags would walk his kids to school. Man, Gags was so classy.

/Flashback sequence begins to when Faunch shook Gags' hand at an alumni banquet. Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch" plays softly in the background.

We now see Coach Caruso get into his car. Faunch can't believe his eyes, it's NOT the same car that Gary Fasching drives. Faunch gets out his note pad and writes "Classless Car" and triple underlines it. Coach Caruso then backs out of the driveway and Faunch tails him. Faunch follows Caruso for a few blocks and notices that Caruso put on his turn signal only 98 feet from his designated turn instead of the MNDOT's recommended 100. Faunch almost chokes on his Johnnie Bread. "How could a guy have any less class?" he thinks to himself. Caruso then parks in his designated parking space outside of the AARC.

Faunch: Unbelievable. A parking space? What is he, the pope? Gags and Fasching used old fashioned Johnnie hustle and grit to find a parking space AND despite there being a limited amount of parking space on campus STILL got the best spots. Just ordinary guys, using ordinary parking skills, extraordinarily well.

Cut to: Coach Caruso sitting in his office, drinking a cup of coffee and watching some game film. Faunch is wearing a UST maintenance uniform and still has on a fake mustache. He knocks on Caruso's door while carrying two halogen lights.

Faunch: Just here to change out the lights Coach Caruso.

Coach Caruso: Sounds good.

Faunch can feel the rage build up inside him as this was a test. Coach Caruso didn't insist that Faunch call him "Glenn" or get to know him. He then looks over and sees Caruso's breakfast sitting on his desk. An English muffin with jam. Faunch collapses. An aneurysm. Gags liked peanut butter on Johnnie bread. Before it all fades to black, Faunch's final thought is, "That breakfast is so classless. Just, no class at all."

Great post. +K. However, you forgot the part where Faunch meekly tries to hold his hand...

[DuffMan]

In all honesty, how many Kaisers and Waldvogels have played for the Tommies?  I swear there were Kaisers on the roster in the late 90s and there still are!

[OzJohnnie]

Meanwhile, in a diamond encrusted office...

GC sits quietly basking in the profoundness of his leadership of the Tommie F.A.M.I.L.Y. and thinks, "I like how clever those Tommies are. I must let them have a photo with me."

[DuffMan]

I was hoping to find one of those giant Caruso head shots on eBay, but so far, no luck...

[Mr.MIAC]

So how many days before the Johnnie faithful start debating whether St. Thomas should go DI? I'm thinking three...

[DuffMan]

So how many days before the Johnnie faithful start debating whether St. Thomas should go DI?

You'd need to actually win at least one football title before I'd ever say such a thing.

[GoldandBlueBU]

So how many days before the Johnnie faithful start debating whether St. Thomas should go DI? I'm thinking three...

I like where you're going with that, but historically, it has taken a couple of seasons of UST dominance before that string comes about.  Because, ya' know, one team stringing together several conference titles is completely unprecedented in the MIAC.   

[USTBench]

In all honesty, how many Kaisers and Waldvogels have played for the Tommies?  I swear there were Kaisers on the roster in the late 90s and there still are!

Jack Kaiser isn't part of the original cast. He's part of a genetic experiment conducted by our equipment guy Willie and some bio-chem majors, utilizing buccal samples from the insides of Greg, Andy and John Kaiser's mouth guards. Unfortunately, with only 2000 career rushing yards and 29 TDs  Jack is considered a poor facsimile and will probably be destroyed at the end of the season.

[sjusection105]

In all honesty, how many Kaisers and Waldvogels have played for the Tommies?  I swear there were Kaisers on the roster in the late 90s and there still are!

Yea, the Kaiser's you are thinking of are from Mora, their dad is (was- perhaps retired) a DVM, lots of cows around Mora. This current one is from Prior Lake. John worked in our shop emptying garbage and the like, good work for a Tommie, between his Jr. & Sr. year. He is in your class Duff, last year of FB was 2002.

[USTBench]

In all honesty, how many Kaisers and Waldvogels have played for the Tommies?  I swear there were Kaisers on the roster in the late 90s and there still are!

Yea, the Kaiser's you are thinking of are from Mora, their dad is (was- perhaps retired) a DVM, lots of cows around Mora. This current one is from Prior Lake. John worked in our shop emptying garbage and the like, good work for a Tommie, between his Jr. & Sr. year. He is in your class Duff, last year of FB was 2002.

Well, he's now a Sourcing Analyst/office linebacker for Target Corp with an MBA from the Carlson School of Management at the U of M. He's also a black belt in every martial art.