FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[johnnyadmit]

Difference is-when a Kandiyohi county man shows up naked in a woman's bedroom, she winds up screaming his name, not screaming for help...

Keep telling yourself that

Yeah! Get outta here and go back to the Liberty League and post your hangover updates. 

Ouch- kicked outta the home board...  And actually, I'm feeling better, thank you very much! 

[DuffMan]

Admit, you're getting awfully close to Karma powers.  Have you thought about your first smite and your first applause?

[finsleft]

... not to mention I am a poor graduate student, so it seems highly unlikely

"Ooh, look at me.  I'm a grad student.  I made $600 last year."

God, I hear that.  My income is coming from betting on NBA games. 

I'm happy to report that, in order to put gas in the Pace Arrow for all the trips you guys have planned for me, and to provide an ample supply of Hamm's and koolaid to my MIAC bretheren (don't worry Admit-you're still in) I am in serious negotiations with CKX,Inc. to purchase the Finsleft name, image and likeness. http://articles.news.aol.com/business/article.adp?id=20060412124909990001

Admit-welcome back. Seen KR anywhwere?

[johnnyadmit]

Admit, you're getting awfully close to Karma powers.  Have you thought about your first smite and your first applause?

I think I may owe KR a few-  and of course for the smite, I'm gonna have to jump on the bandwagon! 


Fins-  THIS JUST IN:  Iowa has just imploded due to a lack of anything worthwhile or meaningful.   RIP- Corn, Hogs, Field of Dreams, and KR

[Kilted Rat]

I'm back, I was ummm how do you say it... retained for questioning by ther Secret Service following President Bush's visit here yesterday.


Here are some things I learned yesterday:
1.  It is not ok to stand in the middle of the roadway and ask the presidential motorcade to "Stop in the name of Love"
2.  It is not ok to run alongside the presidential motorcade tapping on windows asking if anyone has any grey poupon.
3.  It is not ok to ask a secret service agent to hold your beer so you can use your free hand to hold onto a street sign while peeing down the culvert.
4.  President Bush does not want to donate to the "Buy KR a 30 of Hamm's fund"
5.  Saying "its ok, I'm a deer hunter" is not enough to convince a swat team member to let you "play with" his automatic weapon.
6.  It is not ok to play chicken with the presidential motorcade.
7.  No one in the presidential motorcade wants to buy today's issue of the Des Moines Register
8.  It is not ok to ask a secret service agent if President Bush wants to sign your butt.
9.  The secret service guys (who were surprisingly plump) do not want to race.
10. Attempting all of the above in one day gets you a private 3 hour meeting with three secret service agents in a dark room downtown with no lights.

[MongolianWarrior]

so everyday i see people walking in and out of traffic with signs that say "will work for $ or food" and the like.  It made me wonder if I shouldnt make a sign that says "A lot of college loans to pay back" and see how much $ I could get. 

President Bush does not want to donate to the "Buy KR a 30 of Hamm's fund"
To this, I am saddened.

[Kilted Rat]

I have nothing of value to say, I just don't like seeing 4 other West Region boards including the MWC and IIAC having more recent posts than the MIAC.

So to fill the void, here's a dumb joke:




Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue
needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best
friends, Daryl and Gomer.
The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl
said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange.
Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the
body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The
mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes.
Every time we went to town, folks would say,
" Here comes Bubba with them two assholes ."

[johnnyadmit]

Since I'm apparently lookin for smite-lets take a poke at the Catholics! 


What kind of fun does a priest have?
Nun.

What is the definition of something suspicious?
A nun doing push-ups in the cucumber field.

What do you get when you cross a devil worshipper with a jehovah's witness?
Someone who goes from door to door telling people to go to hell.

Who was the first computer operator in the bible?
Eve, she had an Apple in one hand and a Wang in the other.

Did you hear about the Catholic missionary that gave some cannibals their first taste of religion?

[johnnyadmit]

Alright, since I'm going to hell anyway- this one made me fall off the chair...



M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. When M doesn't hear from Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven.

The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says "Virgin Mary speaking." M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he hasn't.

M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. "Virgin Mary speaking," comes the response. "Is James there yet?" asks M. Again the answer is no.

M is really worried by this time but he waits for a few more hours and then calls heaven back again.

"Hello, Mary speaking..."

[Veek]

Fins - please do not sell your name.  I'll buy the gas and Hamm's for the Pace Arrow if need be but please do not sell your name.  Thank you.

[finsleft]

THE 17 TOP KANDIYOHI/IOWA (pick one) SONGS

17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed
Your Ass Out All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then
Number Two On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So
Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting
Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm
Afraid She'd Win

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon
Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're
Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be
Out Of Prison By Now

6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do
Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number One song is ..

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman
....., But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few !!!  

[finsleft]

Fins - please do not sell your name.  I'll buy the gas and Hamm's for the Pace Arrow if need be but please do not sell your name.  Thank you.

Thanks Veek.
But if Ali can get 50 mil, who knows what Finsleft will bring.
Be careful what you offer. Just bought gas today and it's nearing the price of good single malt.

[johnnyadmit]

Alright, being intoxicated, I'm going to get these last two posts and then proceed to unleash the karma on the masses.   Gotta love the spring (NOT EASTER!!) break in the public schools....

[tmerton]

admit - I made the mistake of saving your RatPak pic to my rotating screensaver pics and yesterday, after the screensaver fipped on, I saw it for the first time full size.  I'm just now able to post again.

I now longer wonder "Where's the beef?" (and while you gotta be pretty old to remember that I figure there are a few old Mondale folks around).

[DuffMan]

Congrats on Karma powers, Mr. Admit.  Enjoy both the power and your "Spring" break.  +K to you!