FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Johnnie Red]

This week's crime wave in beautiful Chaska:

Unless you are TDT, every man will at least once experience rejection, in some form or fashion, from a woman during his lifetime. Most men react to the rejection in a much more positive way than the man in this incident. This man went to a birthday party for a woman that was being held in a hotel room. He became intoxicated and was kicked out of the party by the women who were present (evidently not any Bennies present). He began punching the walls with his hands and kicked the room door while yelling loudly. The man then kicked the doors of other hotel rooms. Officers were called and when they arrived, the man was in the parking lot. He was still screaming and was now kicking vehicles, causing damage to one. Officers calmed him down and asked him for his identification. The man handed a rubber cover for a brake pedal to the officer, mistaking it for his wallet. He told police he was mad because the women kicked him out of the room. A breath test indicated a .241 AC. He was arrested and charged with criminal damage to property. He was placed in a detox facility. It's a safe bet the man's actions did not make him more attractive to the women, especially since it did not happen at the College of St. Benedict.

A mother and her sixteen-year old daughter were involved in an argument at their residence. The mother took away her daughter's cell phone as punishment. In retaliation, the daughter punched her mother in the upper right breast area. Police arrived and arrested the daughter for domestic and fifth degree assault.

A Victoria man violated a harassment restraining order when he egged his ex-wife's car, while it was parked at her residence. He also called her numerous times, which violated the order. When is the last time you have heard of an adult egging someone's car, especially when it is not Halloween?

[finsleft]

Johnnie Red:
In the interest of (oxymoron alert!) marital harmony, perhaps the good Commissioners of Carver County might be persuaded to post these signs:




International. Marriage Symbol

[tmerton]

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference  between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

[Willy Wonka]

Well, I ate Taco John's tonight before work and promptly made three pit stops at THE john within two hours of eating. It wasn't pretty.

I can't wait to punish Fins' toity in the Pace Arrow.

[Johnnie Red]

Anyone else fired up about Bonnie Raitt being at the State Fair on August 26 and Brooks & Dunn being there September 4? Add in the Stiftungsfest the weekend of August 25 and the Johnnie home opener against the Blugolds on September 2 and the later days of summer couldn't get any better.

Looking for something to do this evening? Head to Floyd's Bar in Victoria to hear the Funk Junkies.

[Touchdown Tommy]

Godfather: You are walking on thin ice with me...

[Touchdown Tommy]

Yea not too shabby for about 9 weeks and when you consider it is the offseason....

[Willy Wonka]

YES!!!!!! I just pushed The Hated TDT to -400!! This must be a Good Friday!

I own you, Max.

[Kilted Rat]

Now that I see TDT hit me with his daily smite, I guess it's safe to come out


WW, I only wish I could have given you +2k instead of +1. Something tells me that you having positive K annoys Ms -400 more than anything.



Proposal for the first Stiftungfestivity of the new year:

Shotgun race Ms 1500 vs Ms -400[/color]

[tmerton]

Ole staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking Buddy, Sven. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Lena. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Ole sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could do on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Ole woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Lena staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you, Ole?"

Ole said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Lena said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."

[Johnnie Red]

KR, that is not a bad idea. It would be a great way to open the season when the Blugolds come to Collegeville. I do know that Ms. 1500 does have a Johnnie shirt, so she would fit in, even though she is a MAC grad.

Another idea would be to have a "I'm a politician, so kiss my ass" Stiftungsfestivities when Carleton comes to town on September 30. Invitations would go out to Congressman Mark Kennedy and Amy Klobuchar (U.S. Senate race), Governor Tim Pawlenty and Attorney General Mike Hatch (Governor's race), Matt Entenza and Jeffrey Johnson (MN Attorney General's race), whoever is running in the 6th Congressional District and anyone else who has their hat in the political ring. We could all toast an adult beverage to the memories of Eugene McCarthy and Paul Wellstone. TDT could use his connections to President Bush and see if we could get the Pres to Collegeville for a Johnnie game. This could be an awesome event.

[finsleft]

Sorry, I will no longer be posting, as I have found a better use for my computer...




Thanks to tmerton for that one - proof that all the good ideas start in California

[finsleft]

KR, that is not a bad idea. It would be a great way to open the season when the Blugolds come to Collegeville. I do know that Ms. 1500 does have a Johnnie shirt, so she would fit in, even though she is a MAC grad.

Another idea would be to have a "I'm a politician, so kiss my ass" Stiftungsfestivities when Carleton comes to town on September 30. Invitations would go out to Congressman Mark Kennedy and Amy Klobuchar (U.S. Senate race), Governor Tim Pawlenty and Attorney General Mike Hatch (Governor's race), Matt Entenza and Jeffrey Johnson (MN Attorney General's race), whoever is running in the 6th Congressional District and anyone else who has their hat in the political ring. We could all toast an adult beverage to the memories of Eugene McCarthy and Paul Wellstone. TDT could use his connections to President Bush and see if we could get the Pres to Collegeville for a Johnnie game. This could be an awesome event.

I like that JR. The betting action would be hot on the Carleton score vs. Bush approval rating that day.

[frankrickard]

Sorry, I will no longer be posting, as I have found a better use for my computer...




Thanks to tmerton for that one - proof that all the good ideas start in California

Is that Hamm's on tap in that computer?

[DuffMan]

Frank, I'll be having dinner with the folks at the Riverboat Depot tonight.  Don't they have Hamm's on tap there?