FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Retired Old Rat]

This was released by the FDA today:

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names.  A trade name and a generic name.  For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen.  Aleve is also called naproxen.  Amoxil is also called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.  After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of:

Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafallin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixadud, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

[Retired Old Rat]

A little slow in here tonight.

Long but actually quite amusing ...

1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may
be legally beaten and killed by his fellow partygoers.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12
hours.

5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50
percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone
within earshot is allowed to call bull****.
(Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the
allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

6. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
sister is off-limits forever.

7. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for
another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a
girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

8. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies
refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the
temperature is unsuitable

9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present
for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends
birthday is strictly optional.

10. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe
your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal
duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed
and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is
forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

11. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to
ask his permission and he, in return is required to
grant it.

12. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and, more importantly, the ability to pick
a buffalo wing clean.

13. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you
didn't see nothin'.

14. The universal compensation for buddies who help
you move is beer.

15. (Gas Warfare Act) you may flatulate in front of a
woman only after you've brought her to climax. But if
you trap her head under the covers (Dutch Oven) for
the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's
officially your girlfriend.

16. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and
it's delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free.

17. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

18. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

19. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too
drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

20. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon,
give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit
the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

21. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
mean.

22. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're
on equal footing: either both urinating or both
waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all
the conversation you need.

23. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in
the car, you may not join him...too gay.

24. Before allowing drunken friend to cheat on his
girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able
to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a
"F@ck OFF!" You are absolved of your of
responsibility.

25. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly
"just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the
fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason
not to nail her again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.

[DuffMan]

ROR, how do you know so much about Viagra?

[Retired Old Rat]

ROR, how do you know so much about Viagra?

Gee, tell a couple of tasteless jokes and my karma takes a quick dive.

Duffman, I get lots of spam.

[johnnyadmit]

Gee, tell a couple of tasteless jokes and my karma takes a quick dive.

I know what you're sayin about the tasteless joke/karma dive connection

[Kilted Rat]

Who are we to criticize ROR if he still wants to be ...umm..uh... "active" at his age.

Look at all the stuff Moses did when he was like 4 jillion years old.

Strom Thurmond was 100 before he quit trying to re-institute slavery

Julio Franco is still playing Major League Baseball at 47

Gags is still coaching and he'll be 80 this year (if my math is right... I only took essentials of calc... aka how to program answers into a TI-85).

[johnnyadmit]

"Look for an all-female crew with some new uniforms from Victoria's Secret,"
                           

Do you realize what you're saying??  Last I recall, the Bennies of Safe Lifety weren't exactly calendar girl material...

Maybe we could look to SCSU-  KR, remember the hot 'Link Security' chick that came over from State freshman year?   We got her to join us for cocktails after her shift on several occasions.

[tmerton]

Heading to the University of South Carolina tomorrow. I'll do my best to get coach Holtz to return to the University of Minnesota and take over the football program.

Yeah, but he'll still have that "out" clause for SBend (God forgive him).

[janesvilleflash]

I have to take viagra just to be able to sit up straight.

[janesvilleflash]

Not again! After the first one, the phone rang off the wall with people wanting mine.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12355241/

[Pat Coleman]

Well I'm screwed now.  I was even wrong about this.  I suspect this will be grounds for our host to lay into me again.

Oh, ouch.

?

[DuffMan]

Here's an article about the Johnnies' first spring practice in many, many years.

[finsleft]

"Look for an all-female crew with some new uniforms from Victoria's Secret,"
                           

Do you realize what you're saying??  Last I recall, the Bennies of Safe Lifety weren't exactly calendar girl material...

Did I say anything about Bennies?

[finsleft]

I have to take viagra just to be able to sit up straight.

They give it to the old guys in the nursing home just to keep them from rolling out of bed.

Poor man's Viagra: 2 popsicle sticks and some duct tape.

Old guy walks into the pharmacy and asks the Pharmacist for 1 Viagra, but cut it in 10 pieces. The pharmacist is puzzled and explains to the guy that one-tenth of a pill is not going to do much for his sex life. The old guy says, "Well, at my age, I don't care much about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

[janesvilleflash]

Great idea!! Now maybe I can start wearing sandals.