FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[ritz72]

Crown, Martin Luther, Minnesota-Morris and Northwestern (Minn.) will become affiliate members of the St. Louis Intercollegiate Athletic Conference effective 2008. The SLIAC had dropped football in 2000. They will join Blackburn, Eureka, Greenville, MacMurray, Principia, and Westminster (Mo.) in the league. UMAC affiliate Trinity Bible, which is not a Division III member, was not included in the new arrangement.

Look out world, there's a new "powerhouse" conference in town!!!

A list of chants and activities that are not appropriate??

Give me a freaking break......

Let's see......let's ban.....

St. Olaf----- "ole ole ole ole"  Ole and Lena jokes are offensive to Norwayites

Carleton---  echoes, as no one goes to the games.

Concordia--- Lime Jello eating contest before the games, people are starving
                      in the world and such glutony is just wrong

Hamline --- Need to change the nickname..."pipers" is now slang for crack
                    addicts.

Gustavus --The Homecoming "pee for distance" contest will now have to be
                   held off campus somewhere else in St. "Peeter"

Auggie Tech -- Ban on the 'We is more gooder than you'se guys' chant for
                         fear of reprisals from P.A.C.E.R.

Bethel --  The Bethel Hop is out -----Freshman (not 1st Year student)  feels
                left out just because she has no legs and her prosthetics are not
                wired to fire muscles.

UST -- Banned from any chants that begin with "Like, Oh my God..." and "Dude..."

SJU -- In my 15 year affliliation with this remarkable institution, I have not witnessed, or participated in, any chant, activity, or other unmentioned activities that would fall under such scrutiny.  Therefore, I do not see this rule affecting anything said or done at SJU.     

[Kilted Rat]

St. Olaf----- "ole ole ole ole"  Ole and Lena jokes are offensive to Norwayites

Would Norwayites be similar to Norwegians?

[ritz72]

St. Olaf----- "ole ole ole ole"  Ole and Lena jokes are offensive to Norwayites

Would Norwayites be similar to Norwegians?

toe may toe ------toe mah toe

[johnnyadmit]

St. Olaf----- "ole ole ole ole"  Ole and Lena jokes are offensive to Norwayites

Would Norwayites be similar to Norwegians?

toe may toe ------toe mah toe

As a 1/4 Norwayite, I feel offended. 

[ritz72]

St. Olaf----- "ole ole ole ole"  Ole and Lena jokes are offensive to Norwayites

Would Norwayites be similar to Norwegians?

toe may toe ------toe mah toe

As a 1/4 Norwayite, I feel offended. 

Then you, my friend, sound like you need a delicious "Central Minnesota Martini"!!

[DuffMan]

Delicious?  I tried one of those concoctions last year and it stuck with me all day.

Although the thought of a martini reminds me of a story from the wedding I was at this weekend:

Duffman was working the crowd, waiting in line to grab himself another frosty beverage.  While waiting, he notices the cup of olives on the bar.  Well, these looked quite good to Duffman, but instead of taking one or two, he hoists the cup to his mouth and takes a big swig.  The bartender (who, apparently was an '04 CSB grad) looks at Duffman and says, "did you just drink the olive juice?"  Duffman responds, "No," promptly grabs his Sam Adams and walks away.

[BDB]

Duff, Maybe that was the reason your level 7 hangover the next day felt so good.

You may have discovered something! 

[DuffMan]

Duff, Maybe that was the reason your level 7 hangover the next day felt so good.

You may have discovered something! 

Hmmm, might be worth a try again.

[ritz72]

mix in a little gin or vodka, and a dirty martini is in the works....

best shot ever made was when I was working at Sal's freshman year and made this a$%hole a "bartender's suprise".....

basically my bar towel rung out in a shaker.......if memory serves me correctly, I do believe that was the end of him for the night.....

something about that odd mix of ingredients puts people over the edge

[johnnyadmit]

Whilst workin at the La, Nordo and I used to have a s***ty shot competition. (The two of us mixed and took odd combinations of liquors to find the most terrible)  Not once, but TWICE we decided to give the ol mat shot a try.   First time wasn't too bad-second time ended our competition for the night.

[DuffMan]

If you're looking for a nasty shot, try mixing a shot of Wild Turkey with a shot of Malibu.  We dubbed it the "California Thanksgiving."  Let's just say it's not good.

[Kilted Rat]

A buddy of mine freshman year combined Taka vodka with Hackstein beer in a 2:1 ratio (beer:taka).

After 3 beers worth of the mix, he passed out in the computer lounge on our floor one hand down his shorts the other on the mouse.

[Kilted Rat]

They were having a discussion yesterday about different places people have urinated hile drunk. Admit messaged me asking me to tell about an incident that occured during our sophmore year.

Here is the story, WARNING this is not for the faint of heart or stomach.



Since SJU had way more guys in our class than expected, many of our classmates ended up living on the 1st floor of Tommy Hall, one of the freshmen dorms on campus.

One night on Tommy 1, a guy we'll call "K" decided to do a solo assault on a 750 of Captain Morgan followed by a one man mission on a similar sized bottle of Jaggermeister.

Apparently about 3AM K gets up to head to the old sh*tter and passed out on the floor in the bathroom mere feet from the sh*tters.

Problem is, K forgot to tell his bowels that he hadn't yet arrived at the *******s and K's colon unleashed a fury in K's shorts which erupted out the top and bottom of K's shorts all over the bathroom floor.

Eventually the odor or something woke K up and K realizes he's covered in some substance and tries to wipe it off but ends up smearing it all over his entire body, face and hair included in the process.

At this point, K realized he need some help and who do you turn to in that situation but your friendly RA.

The RA of Tommy 1 that year is a good friend of mine, who we'll call J and said he was lying in bed in a  Busch Light induced coma with a Butterface next to him when there was a loud slapping noise on his door. Being the good RA he was, he tells them to "Shut the F up" and "Go to bed." Unfortunately the slapping continues until J jumps out of his loft pissed as hell and throws the door open to discover K's poop covered body looking like a "Feces covered version of the Yetti" (J's own words) leaning against his door frame begging for help.

K had successfully coated 50% of J's door in poop by this point as well as tracking it 25 feet down the hallway leaving perfect handprints where K has used the formerly white walls for stabilization.

Campus Rent-a-cops were called, they called in the Sheriff's dept and since neither department wanted to transport K and his feces to detox in their vehicles, he was released to his roommate's possesion pending a shower and cleaning up the mess that was made.

K completed his cleaning tasks later that day and apologized profusely to all on the floor and all involved asking that the story not be spread. Unfortunately by this point 1/2 the campus knew and it was spreading.


This is how Tommy 1 got to be known as the Sh*t floor, the Poop deck and the Bowel Basement. Additionally they earned such slogans as "Tommy 1 gets down with the Brown," and "Tommy 1, we're the sh*t and we play in it."


* K does not stand for KR, but rather for the first name of the DipSh*t described.

[ritz72]

A potent little combination:

Jag, Rootbeer Schnapps, Coke, and Cream....

Tastes like the liquid from a rootbeer float, but ends your night in a hurry.....

mixology tells us that RB schnapps neutralizes taste of Jag.....

We thought these up J-Term Sophmore year whilst taking "Sports Injuries"... (some turned out actually quite good)

1.  Wildman Jack ---- Wild Turkey and jack Daniels
2.  Southern Johnnie Maker --  So Co, Johnnie Walker shots dropped into 16 oz. beer

3.  Widow Maker ---  Ouzo, Hennesey and Gin

4.  The Fu%^ You ---   Tequila, Gin, Jack, float a cherry

5.  Clinton --  slow gin, grenadine, few flecks of copenhagen, drank with a straw

6.  The 'What the F$%' --- rail gin and vodka in the microwave for 10 seconds with whipped cream

7.  The Famous Central Minnesota martini -- beer and a piece of pickled herring

8.  M.E.A.T. ---  Midori, egg nog, anise, and tanqueray (NOT GOOD)

[tmerton]

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies.  When they get to meet their maker, because of the grief they have experienced, He decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Heaven.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what their wish is. "I want to be gorgeous." 

So God snaps His fingers, and it is done. 

The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.  When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.  The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."