FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

tmerton · June 23, 2006, 11:51:15 AM

Joe was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Lucrecia, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly. A few days later, Joe got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Joe, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?"

Joe: "Yes, sir, that's correct."

Coroner: "Joe, I also found a golf ball wedged up her butt."

Joe: "Was it a Titleist 3?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Joe: "That was my mulligan."

MyYak · June 23, 2006, 12:04:23 PM

All this golf talk makes me wonder: Wasn't there going to be a PP golf outing?

I was going to play golf this afternoon, but found out two of my kids have their inter-squad high school football scrimmage today. I have a wide receiver and, believe it or not Duffman, a defensive tackle. It won't be near the caliber of the All-Star Game in St. Cloud this weekend, but I still can't wait to watch.

The defensive tackle was a pretty good soccer player in grade school. Should I encourage him to be a kicker too? What do you guys think?

MyYak

DuffMan · June 23, 2006, 12:06:42 PM

A defensive tackle out of your gene pool? Will wonders never cease! At least one of them has seen the light

I always love when a lineman is the kicker!

Touchdown Tommy · June 23, 2006, 12:12:00 PM

Big Lee back with avengence. Yes MIAC PP golf outing to be held the weekend of July 7-9 (not sure on date/locale yet) and it will be an impromptu event. Send me an email and I'll give you the final details after the "Meeting of the Minds".

Kilted Rat · June 23, 2006, 12:39:02 PM

Good to see the weekly friday almost noon slowdown arrived right on schedule.

Great Golf jokes, can't wait to call Papa KR tonight to share them and to go golfing next week to bust them out.

+k to all for a great weekend! obviously except TDT

BDB · June 23, 2006, 12:48:20 PM

And here I thought the 19th hole was the clubhouse bar.

Retired Old Rat · June 23, 2006, 01:10:59 PM

Quote from: Touchdown Tommy on June 23, 2006, 12:12:00 PM
Big Lee back with avengence. Yes MIAC PP golf outing to be held the weekend of July 7-9 (not sure on date/locale yet) and it will be an impromptu event. Send me an email and I'll give you the final details after the "Meeting of the Minds".

TDT, did you get my email a few weeks back regarding said event? Thoughts?

Touchdown Tommy · June 23, 2006, 01:24:07 PM

ROR: I apologize for not responding. I will reply this afternoon to said email.

Kilted Rat was having an affair with his biology professor. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the KR threw on his clothes, he told the professor to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and KR slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded Mrs. KR when he entered the house.

"Darling," replied KR, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my professor and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

Mrs. KR glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

johnnyadmit · June 23, 2006, 01:39:51 PM

Quote from: DuffMan on June 23, 2006, 12:06:42 PM
A defensive tackle out of your gene pool? Will wonders never cease! At least one of them has seen the light

I always love when a lineman is the kicker!

Hey now! The NL-S kicker my Jr and Sr year had a 54 on his back...

Kilted Rat · June 23, 2006, 01:52:16 PM

Quote from: johnnyadmit on June 23, 2006, 01:39:51 PM
Hey now! The NL-S kicker my Jr and Sr year had a 54 on his back...

I heard he didn't wear a jersey, just shaved the 54 into his back hair.

johnnyadmit · June 23, 2006, 01:53:59 PM

Quote from: kiltedrat on June 23, 2006, 01:52:16 PM
Quote from: johnnyadmit on June 23, 2006, 01:39:51 PM
Hey now! The NL-S kicker my Jr and Sr year had a 54 on his back...

I heard he didn't wear a jersey, just shaved the 54 into his back hair.

Didn't need shoulder pads either, but at the urging of every woman in the tri-state area, he wore a helmet to protect his ruggedly handsome face.

johnnyadmit · June 23, 2006, 01:54:32 PM

Ouch- I took a shot for that one- KR you dirty devil!

Kilted Rat · June 23, 2006, 02:02:40 PM

Wasn't me, I just took a 2 pt hit myself. The mystery drive-by smiter is back in action.

Willy Wonka · June 23, 2006, 02:12:06 PM

I better not get blamed for this round of smiting either. I've just returned from a Gustavus golf outing and spoke with TDT on the drive home. In trying to impress my old basketball coach yesterday, I crushed my driver on Hole 1...straight up and into a tree. It fell roughly 5 feet from where I tee'd off.

Thank God we weren't playing Danny Dickau rules...

Off to nap so I can dominate the Buri's tonight in Star of the North.

Retired Old Rat · June 23, 2006, 02:33:07 PM

Quote from: Willy Wonka on June 23, 2006, 02:12:06 PM
I better not get blamed for this round of smiting either. I've just returned from a Gustavus golf outing and spoke with TDT on the drive home. In trying to impress my old basketball coach yesterday, I crushed my driver on Hole 1...straight up and into a tree. It fell roughly 5 feet from where I tee'd off.

The ball or the driver?