FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[OzJohnnie]

Assuming you're down under,  the question becomes ... is VB the Hamm's of your part of the world?

Carlton Draught is the number one draft beer and most have a pot (glass) or ten when out with their mates.  A bit low brow, but still hits the spot on a hot day.  VB is the top beer overall.  You usually pick up a slab (case) of stubbies (bottles) when heading to the beach or to someone's place for a barbie (bbq).  When you're at the local footy (Aussie rules football) on Saturday morning you'll be buying tinnies (cans) of VB with a snag (sausage in a piece of bread) to munch on.  Or a Four-And-Twenty (meat pie - kind of like hamburger in gravy in small pie crust).

I've managed to hook up with four Johnnies down here in Melbourne.  Small world.  One actually walked into my office last Monday and someone yelled out form me to come say hello to the new Yank (American).  We're an American company so Yanks aren't all that unusual and I was flat out like a lizard drinking (busy) so I just yelled a quick hello with a wave.  Then the guys say he's from Minnesota so I walk over to say hello and mention that I grew up in Grand Rapids.  He's from St Cloud.  I say I went to St Johns and he says so did he.  So, long story long, another great pickup for us in the Melbourne  office.

Anyway, I had better get off this machine and ready for work before the trouble and strife (wife) gets up and finds me "playing" around when I should be heading out the door.  Cheers, all.

[finsleft]

Nice post Oz - funny stuff.

Congrats to the Johnnies on a solid playoff victory. Thanks to KR and Duff for the game reports and to TDT for the background running commentary and to Hamm's Beer for making it all possible.

2 good jokes to follow so pay attention Knuckleheads.

[bennie]

This week is the big game between the University of Oregon and Oregon State University. They call it the Civil War game even though I keep trying to explain to everyone that the state of Oregon was not in the Civil War! Anyway, here are some of the jokes being e-mailed around my office. I changed them to SJU/UST jokes for relevance!

How do you keep a Tommie football player out of your yard?
Put up a goal post.


Why do Tommies write "TGIF" on their cleats?
So they remember: "Toes Go In First."


How many Tommie grads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he gets three credits for it.


An SJU grad took a UST grad to her first Tommie/Johnnie game. They had great seats on the 50 yard line. After the game, she said she really liked it. "But I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, the Johnnie asked, "What do you mean?"
The Tommie grad said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like . . . 'Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!' "


A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the
store." "But, I'm a UST graduate," the young man replied indignantly,
"I even played football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that,"
said the manager. "Here, give me
the broom, I better show you how."


A Tommie fan was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was
nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came
out and unplugged the horse just in time.


One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of St. Thomas"
"Use hot water, a box of Tide and four cups bleach."

[finsleft]

Good joke #1:

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee for breakfast?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she again asked if he would like something. "How would you like a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

Again he declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she once again asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken?"

And he once again declines. "Naw, still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

[finsleft]

Good humor Bennie.
Here's my good joke #2:


A guy walks into a bar with a dog and they both take stools. Bartender asks about the dog and the guy says the dog is an avid Vikings fan and just wants to watch the game and won't cause any problems.

The Vikes kick a field goal and the dog does a back flip in place.  A little later they kick another field goal and again the dog does the back flip. The bartender is astounded and asks what the dog does when the Vikes score a touchdown.  Guy says I don't know, I've only had him for two years.

[Retired Old Rat]

Spokane weather forecast for 11/25:

High of 38, 40% chance of snow.

Johnnies will feel right at home.

[ritz72]

John Gagliardi was talking with Bob Sansevere again:

People think about going to Rome and the Vatican. I've been a guest of Jim Tressel's at Ohio State. And I've been with Phil Fulmer at Tennessee. And Steve Spurrier when he was at Florida. And I've visited with Brian Billick and the Baltimore Ravens. I'll never forget those days. To me, that's far better than visiting the pope. I hate to say that as a Catholic. I'll probably be excommunicated.

If I had a time machine, I'd like to go back and replay that game we lost to Bethel

...I read this as well in the paper today.   Of all the things I'd do with a time machine, the last thing I'd want to do is go back and replay a football game.  Say all you want, SJU getting beat by BU is a big deal, more important than them (SJU) getting beat in the playoffs!!  If the season were to end this weekend for SJU, they'd rather had beaten BU than make it another round!!

Sure....You keep thinkning that.....using your analogy, Bethel was happy losing their 1st playoff game since they beat St. John's.  You go ask the SJU players, to a man, and I bet ALL of them will say keeping on winning playoff games trumps a loss to Bethel

[Willy Wonka]

Scrubby - You need to be quiet. You are becoming more and more nonsensical by the day. Wouldn't it be ironic if your grandson puts you in a home before you even get to watch him suit up for the only Do-Gooders in the MIAC?

fins - Ouch on #2. How loudly would people be calling for Daunte's head if he was still here and producing like BJ? Is anyone else sick of watching BJ check down without even looking down the field? It makes Wonka's stomach turn...

While we're typically off topic...a stupid coworker of mine apparently camped out to get the PS3 and is now complaining about sports video games. "They change the rosters too much," he says.

Seriously? He's lucky I didn't slug him.

[Retired Old Rat]

Wonka, your third sentence crosses the line.

[DustySJU]

On another note...

With new travel restrictions will the Johnnie Air Armada be allowed to carry our own beverages?

Will we be restricted to multiple 4 oz shampoo bottles filled with Bailey's, Jack and Hamm's beer?

Anyone with connections to the FFA and Sun Country please respond!  8)

Developing.....

[DuffMan]

Anyone with connections to the FFA and Sun Country please respond!  8)

Do you mean FAA, or do you really want someone from the Future Farmers of America to give you advice?

[cheese]

MIAC AWARDS ARE OUT:

K. Carr MVP
Z. Danielson Stamm
Coach J COY

[royalachilles]

Congratulations to Alex Kofoed, Matt Penz, and Ben Wetzell, 3 really terrific QB's this year all earning 1st team honors.  And to the Oles with 12 1st teamers.  And a big congratulations to Zach, Kirby and Coach J with your great honors..

[57Johnnie]

Wonka, your third sentence crosses the line.

Yup

[Touchdown Tommy]

Congratulations to the award winners.

ROR: Who made you King Sh!t?  I'll preside over the proceedings as President...

Dusty: Excellent point, Need to find out about that ASAP.

Ritz: Are you going West?

Wonka: Was said co-worker Dinny??  8)