FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[sumander]

Fins & KR,

How would you like to run into this deer in the woods?

Only in Cheeseland would they grow something like this!

[tmerton]

Fins & KR,

How would you like to run into this deer in the woods?

Only in Cheeseland would they grow something like this!

I suspect that deer recently moved from California.  For one thing, it was obviously expecting to be given pedestrian right of way; for another thing ... oh, forget it. 

[tmerton]

I've seen at least one hangover rating system here on PP, either posted by KR or perhaps over at LLPP.  Here is another one that found its way to me this morning ...

5 Levels of Hangovers

If you can read this without laughing or you can't relate to any of it, you are on the wrong mailing list my friend...

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.  Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face.  For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts.  Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five ****s you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying  the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of  every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning.  Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

1.) Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2.) Nope, no more booze for me.
3.) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4.) Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
5.) Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
6.) Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

[DuffMan]

Saw this on deadspin, but it's a South Dakota story. For you wrestlers out there. The story is, uh, a high school wrestler faces many counts of rape for a wrestling move called "skinning." Wrestlers, comments? KR, ROR?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16083537/

Never heard of it called "skinning" but yes, it happens all the time.  Of course, there shouldn't be any "digital penetration" while using the move.  That's just wrong.

[finsleft]

Fins & KR,

How would you like to run into this deer in the woods?

Only in Cheeseland would they grow something like this!

That's quite a critter! I thought it was pretty interesting that the guy was on his mile long driveway and the deer "ran under his truck".

[sumander]

I think the amazing thing is he reported it!

Tmert, +k for the stages of the hangover!

[bennie]

Saw this on deadspin, but it's a South Dakota story. For you wrestlers out there. The story is, uh, a high school wrestler faces many counts of rape for a wrestling move called "skinning." Wrestlers, comments? KR, ROR?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16083537/

No comment.

KR, what is the medical term for this?

Now I don't have the medical training that KR has, but I am going to guess that the term is "prostate exam"!

[Kilted Rat]

Fins & KR,

How would you like to run into this deer in the woods?

Only in Cheeseland would they grow something like this!

Ironically that story is out of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin which is where I was born. 

I feel tied to this story in so many ways!

Saw this on deadspin, but it's a South Dakota story. For you wrestlers out there. The story is, uh, a high school wrestler faces many counts of rape for a wrestling move called "skinning." Wrestlers, comments? KR, ROR?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16083537/

No comment.

KR, what is the medical term for this?

Coach Elts at SJU used to call it "getting a hook in the rear!"

Many times during a match when that move was... available Elts would be screaming from the edge of the matr "hook in the rear" "HOOK IN THE REAR!" much to the confusion of many onlookers.

I've been "skinned" more times than I want to admit and I may have on occassion committed a skinning, though it was usually not intended.

[DuffMan]

Coach Elts at SJU used to call it "getting a hook in the rear!"

Many times during a match when that move was... available Elts would be screaming from the edge of the matr "hook in the rear" "HOOK IN THE REAR!" much to the confusion of many onlookers.

I've been "skinned" more times than I want to admit and I may have on occassion committed a skinning, though it was usually not intended.

That's what my high school coach called it.  Go figure, he wrestled for Elts.

[TC]

Duff kinda stole my thunder, but...

Key West... flamboyantly queers...it was fun. Needless to say TDT has extremely fond memories of Key West. 

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

A HILLBILLY WEDDING

A hillbilly got married, and on his wedding night he calls his father for advice on what to do since he had never been intimate with a woman before.

"We're in the bedroom, Pa.. What do we do now?"

Thinking that nature will take its course, the father replied, "Take her clothes off and then you both get in bed."

The hillbilly calls his dad 5 minutes later and says, "She's nekid and we're in bed. What do I do now?"

Knowing his son wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, his dad asked," Did you take your clothes off, too?"

"No." the son replies.

"Well, take your clothes off and get back in bed with her."

The son calls back a few minutes later and says, "We're both nekid and in bed. What do I do now?"

The father's patience is quickly running out, and he growls, "Look, Son, do I have to spell everything out? Just stick the hardest thing on your body where she pees!"

The son calls again a minute later. "Ok, Pa. I've got my head in the toilet bowl. Now what?"

[raiderguy]

Hey All!

Greetin's from Salem.

Heading over to Stone Station for some food and fun!


WISH YOU WERE HERE!

Let's plan on it next year.

3:00 kick-off ESPN.

As always GO RAIDERS!

[DuffMan]

Have fun, Raiderguy.  I'll be cheering for Kehre's boys!

[tafkaw]

Have fun, Raiderguy.  I'll be cheering for Kehre's boys!

As will this guy!

[DustySJU]

Have fun, Raiderguy.  I'll be cheering for Kehre's boys!

As will this guy!

I'll be the third one in on this party... anything to ensure another season of RG jello shots!

I'll be looking forward also to joining the Johnnie contigent assembling in Salem, VA in 2007!

2007 will see the emergence of the two headed monster... Stiftungsfestivities meets Stone Station!

Woody;  I see the NCC is officiating the DII championship game today... any familiar names?  8)

Developing.....