FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Started by admin, August 16, 2005, 05:19:08 AM

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bennie

Quote from: Kilted Rat on January 31, 2007, 07:42:31 PM

Oh contraire my friend.

Quick medical lesson of the day time.

What, no pictures? ;) :D
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing... everything else is just figure skating.  ~Author Unknown

finsleft

Quote from: DuffMan on January 31, 2007, 10:04:00 PM
Quote from: Willy Wonka on January 31, 2007, 07:26:22 PM
Duffy - I almost opened that Hooters email at the office surrounded by middle aged women. I held off until I got home. And...um...thanks :)

That came from KR, buddy.  But it was quite enjoyable.

It was enjoyable. I thought I was going to have to seek medical attention after viewing it but, thankfully, it only lasted 3 1/2 hours.

Kilted Rat

Quote from: bennie on January 31, 2007, 10:59:22 PM
Quote from: Kilted Rat on January 31, 2007, 07:42:31 PM

Oh contraire my friend.

Quick medical lesson of the day time.

What, no pictures? ;) :D

You're a big girl. Type herpes into google image search and sit back and enjoy!
Now accepting new patients. All bills must be paid in scotch shortly after any services rendered.  Sorry TDT, no problems below the waist.


Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

BDB


tmerton

Proper use of Prepositions
 
Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
 
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
 
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and your erection will last as long as you wish!"
 
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
 
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."
 
That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123" and suddenly he becomes more aroused than any time in his life, just as the medicine man had promised.
 
His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
 
And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.

finsleft

Excellent tmerts! See PC, I was right.
Here's another funny...

A man walks up to the clerk and asks, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something, if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no!"
"If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't!" said the clerk.
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well then why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."

Rico 21

Phew...  what a relief!  I figured I must have caught a cold since I can't stop sneezing

  ...now I realize it's just the dust from Anna that was causing my nasal irritation

Johnnie

Quote from: tmerton on February 01, 2007, 10:39:11 AM
Proper use of Prepositions
 
Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
 
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
 
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and your erection will last as long as you wish!"
 
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
 
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."
 
That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123" and suddenly he becomes more aroused than any time in his life, just as the medicine man had promised.
 
His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
 
And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.



you no blow 'em smoke, tmerton

Whoa Nelly

Interesting article regarding the Super Bow...uh, er...the big game.
"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

tmerton

Happy and Sad:

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when
the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something to
make me happy and sad at the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your
pecker is bigger than your brother's."

tmerton

This recommendation comes from my brother (my comment: I'm not so sure):

If you are sitting next to someone who's irritating you on a plane or train....

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Boot it.
4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen.
5. Open your email client to this message.
6. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
7. Then hit this link: http://tinyurl.com/e8efm

Kilted Rat

I think this is a video we can all relate to:

Shower like a man vs like a woman


It's safe for work, no boy/girl parts shown.
Now accepting new patients. All bills must be paid in scotch shortly after any services rendered.  Sorry TDT, no problems below the waist.


Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

tmerton

Mrs. tmerton is getting ready to host "bunko" night for other floozies.  Says she only has to do it every two years, but as I told her, it seems to come more often than that.

It's times like this that you understand the extent to which women go to make it look like no one has lived in your house for the last year.  And Mrs. tmerton has this habit of stuffing papers (bills, airline tickets, etc.) in bags, drawers, and other places on which she completely blanks when asked the next day.

There will be lots of talking, lots of drinking and lots of noise.  It's late in life - let's hope they don't get naked. :P

janesvilleflash

+k for using the word "floozies". Haven't heard that in years.
If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

finsleft

Tmerton: Look at it as a free pass to call up the hubbies of the floozies and settle in at Hooters at happy hour and enjoy some "wings".
Ah, "Bunko" night. Could be "book club" or any other pseudo-activity. Get away and good luck finding your paperwork.