FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[finsleft]

She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was VERY upset.  "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you  do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm  leaving you.  I want a divorce straight away!"
Paddy replied:  "Hang on just a minute Luv, so at least I can tell you  what happened."

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

Paddy began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.  She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days!   So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones
you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good cleanup I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer  jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.  Also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which
you don't wear because I don't have good taste.  I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her.   I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at  work has a pair like them."

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued.  "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said 'Please......do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

Well I could not lie to the poor thing."

[finsleft]

News from today's Daily Planet:

Steffensmeier earns national football honor

St. John's senior Jamie Steffensmeier, an outside linebacker for the Johnnies the past four seasons, is one of five MIAC representatives on the National Football Foundation's National Honor Society.

To earn the honor, a player must have been a starter or significant contributor in their last season of eligibility and have achieved at least a 3.22 GPA.

Bethel defensive end Mark Gaalswyk, Bethel outside linebacker Kirby Carr, Bethel running back Phil Porta and St. Thomas wide receiver P.J. Theisen were the other MIAC representatives.

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

Fins- is that Matt Evans from Albany any relation to Robley (aka Bucky Bob)?


You Hamms addicts should be thrilled to know that a pic of a cold can of Hamms raced the front page of the Scene section (not available online, I fear)... available at Psycho Suzi's in Nord-east (with a name like that, the bar is def worth checking out)

[SUMMIT!!!!!]

My bad, the article was online, but with a different photo

http://www.startribune.com/126/story/1175501.html

not as good a photo of the bevvies as the one in print but all in all, a pic worth eyeing 

[tmerton]

Lewdog posted this reminder over on the East board:

Guys, don't forget this Sunday to 'Treat Your Mother Right!!!!'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo

[Kilted Rat]

4 innings, 6 hits, 6 runs allowed, 5 earned, 2 BB, 1 K on 69 pitches. Current ERA 6.93.

Please someone tell me why the hell Ponson's 260lbs is still dragging our roster down when we have Garza in triple A!

I'd be happy to have Baker back. Silva wasn't even this bad last year. Maybe we can bring Burt down out of the F*ing pressbox, he can't do much worse than the 260lb greasy mullet... no one can.

[tmerton]

4 innings, 6 hits, 6 runs allowed, 5 earned, 2 BB, 1 K on 69 pitches. Current ERA 6.93.

Please someone tell me why the hell Ponson's 260lbs is still dragging our roster down when we have Garza in triple A!

I'd be happy to have Baker back. Silva wasn't even this bad last year. Maybe we can bring Burt down out of the F*ing pressbox, he can't do much worse than the 260lb greasy mullet... no one can.

My friend in Baltimore was never so happy as when Los Giantes relieved his O's of Sir Sidney.   Even the Giants, however, saw that Sidney was a pantload.

[Kilted Rat]

4 innings, 6 hits, 6 runs allowed, 5 earned, 2 BB, 1 K on 69 pitches. Current ERA 6.93.

Please someone tell me why the hell Ponson's 260lbs is still dragging our roster down when we have Garza in triple A!

I'd be happy to have Baker back. Silva wasn't even this bad last year. Maybe we can bring Burt down out of the F*ing pressbox, he can't do much worse than the 260lb greasy mullet... no one can.

My friend in Baltimore was never so happy as when Los Giantes relieved his O's of Sir Sidney.   Even the Giants, however, saw that Sidney was a pantload.

So long Sid!

Ponson given his walking papers today from the Twins. He will be replaced on the Twins roster by a 78MPH pitching machine. The pitching machine will receive a $3million per year contract pro-rated for the rest of the season earnin $2.4 million on the year.

Pitching machine when contacted about the news showed little emotion but vowed to be "the most consistent presence on the mound the Twins have ever seen."

Ponson was not so stoic, "I grew a mullet, I out-ate Boof by a 3:1 ratio and I even rubbed grease from my pores onto the ball. What more did they want from me?"

When asked where the assignment was that Ponson had been designated to, he replied, "I don't know yeat, but I'll be at KFC drowning my sorrows in the Colonel's extra-crispy goodness and a large Coke."

Asked if he was surprised by Ponson's performance this year, 91 year-old Twins owner Carl Pohlad replied, "I don't understand it, we paid him $1 million for the year! That's way more than even Babe Ruth makes! He shoulda won every game he pitched!"

Terry Ryan added, "Sometimes you really do get what you paid for or in this case, less."

Ponson became a Twin Cities laughing stock for his failed attempt to emulate Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau's Jimmy John's adds by doing his own for Taco John's. Sidney's "catch-phrase" of "Greasy, how I likes it" never did catch on like Taco John's and Ponson had hoped.

Jacob Wolcowiz, owner of the Domino's pizza on Oak Street in Minneapolis was shocked and deeply saddened by the news. "Sidney was the best thing to happen to our store since the end of the Noid ads. Ponson ordered 2 medium supremes for each pre-game, 3 on days he pitched and he was always good for another delivery order in the 7th inning. Gardy didn't seem to mind deliveries to the dugout so long as we sent along some cheesy-bread."

Ponson leaves the Twins with a 6.93 ERA and a 2-5 record. He also leads holding several IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating) Minnesota state records including 1lb of butter in 2.5 seconds, 10lbs of fried chicken in 4 minutes 2 seconds, and 1 gallon of gravy downed in a world record of 13 seconds.

[Pat Coleman]

Noid ads ... wow ... nice reference.

[Kilted Rat]

I was really hoping at least someone would catch that

[johnnie_esq]

My sympathies to the Cobber football family.

Concordia College student killed by train in Moorhead.
A 21-year-old student at Concordia College is dead after he was struck by a train in Moorhead...Bertek was a former Cobber football player and a 2004 graduate of West Fargo High School. His father says he was nearly finished with his studies at Concordia.

[finsleft]

Fact: Sidney Potbelly will not be here to enjoy June in Minnesota.

OK, so it wasn't that tough of a call, but I called it on April 26th.

[finsleft]

Fins- is that Matt Evans from Albany any relation to Robley (aka Bucky Bob)?


You Hamms addicts should be thrilled to know that a pic of a cold can of Hamms raced the front page of the Scene section (not available online, I fear)... available at Psycho Suzi's in Nord-east (with a name like that, the bar is def worth checking out)

MM- I gotta believe he's related. Ah Bucky, I remember skipping out of school and watching him try to catch us or track us down. We knew the trails better than anybody with a GPS would and we had hideouts all over the place where we'd sit an watch him pace by. Funny stuff.
Good call on the Psycho Susie's photo. I saw that too on Friday. That'll be a must-stop for this summer.

[57Johnnie]

ZIP, esq,
You fellows had better get over to the LLPP board and give our good friend, Red Tackle, some good legal advice. Seems as though he has a problem in the romance area. On the other hand, lovelorn matters may be best addressed by our esteemed Pres. TDT.

[tmerton]

I know the Prez has picked his wardrobe for a fall visit (orange sherbert or something), but here's a chance to help him pick his summer wardrobe.  BTW, when did he change his name to Kevin?