FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[Rugman]

Aw hell, we might as well just go ahead and proclaim this "Monkey Joke Week".

I'm not sure I like the idea of monkey joke week.

Hey did you hear about the time Fins went duck hunting out by Holdingford.  Seems he shot a duck and it landed across the fence in the field of some old farmer.  Fins was climbing over the fence as the farmer drove up and the farmer jumps out and yells "hey that duck's on my property so it's mine."

Well Fins isn't about to be bullied by some old farmer out by Holdingford so he say's you better watch out, I'm a hot-shot lawyer from over St. Cloud way.  If you don't let me have my duck I'm going to sue your A$$ off and take your farm to boot.

Farmer thinks it over and says, well why don't we settle it the way we did in the old country.  I get to punch you first and you get to punch me back.  One who gets up the fastest gets the duck.

Fins figures I can take this old geezer out and says sure nuff, let's go for it.  Farmer says one condition though, I get to go first.  Fins figures this old guy ain't going to be able to do much damage so he says sure go ahead.

Well the farmer wails off and puches Fins a good one in the gut. Fins doubles over, the farmer brings his knee up and catches Fins right on the jaw.  Fin's head snaps back and he stumbles backwards and falls down, whereas the farmer gives him a good kick in the ribs.  Fins is left in the fetal position but eagerly looks up and say's "now...it's my turn!"

At which point the farmer says, aw what the hell, you can have the duck and drives away.

[retagent]

Does anyone know anything about the "players" the Twins get in the trade? I'm not a NL follower, but I would have thought that at least heard of one of them.

Keith - I read the fourteen volume End of Year wrap up. Good content, but I had to break twice for the bathroom and once to eat.  Your search for an official airline should look at Midwest Airlines. I've yet to have a bad experience. They don't have all that many cities, but they do fly out of both BWI and Reagan National. Give them a try next time you go to one of their destinations.

[retagent]

Sorry tm, my receptors must have been set on stun. OK I'm an idiot.

[TC]

Carlos Gomez:  A toolsy 22-year old CF who has been rushed through the minors by the Mets.  While he could hold his own defensively in the majors in 2008, he could use at least a year between AA and AAA as he currently projects to hit about .250 in the AL with no power or plate discipline.  He can run and throw and catch and looks good in a baseball uniform but he's, you know, not very good at actually playing baseball.  Come to think of it, he sounds like a typical Twins position player prospect.  Not even close to the kind of prospect Fernando Martinez--the other rumored CF prospect the Twins might have been able to get from the Mets--is and would be.



Phil Humber:  The third overall pick in the 2004 draft, 25-year old RHP Humber followed his collegiate overworking at Rice with Tommy John Surgery in 2005.  Along with the typical loss of control that most post-TJ pitchers suffer, Humber also lost about 2-3 MPH on his fastball.  So now he gives up more HRs and BBs, while striking out fewer hitters.  Those are bad trends.  While he once was projected to be a future staff ace, he now looks to be more of a 4th/5th starter or long reliever.



Deolis Guerra:  18-year old RHP Guerra is big (6-5, 200) and throws reasonably hard, but at this point he doesn't have the developed 3rd pitch or statistical track record (2-6, 4.01 ERA 66-to-25 K-to-BB in 90 A-ball innings last year) to make him an elite pitching prospect.  To say he as some Francisco Liriano to him would ignore the huge strides Liriano made in his control and pitch mastery after he joined the Twins organization.  As with all 18-year old pitching prospects, the chances of him never throwing a meaningful pitch in the majors far outweighs the liklihood that he becomes a rotation starter for the Twins.  In fact, he profiles as more of a relief prospect than anything at this point, and even then he's a few years away from ever seeing the majors.



Kevin Mulvey:  A 22-year old RHP, Mulvey made a single start in AAA in 2007 after spending the bulk of the year at AA.  Does this sound like a Twins pitching prospect or what?  He's a control pitcher who keeps the ball on the ground and doesn't give up many HRs.  That also means he doesn't strike many people out.  While pitchers of that profile can become decent ML starters, they rarely become stars.  The absolute last thing the Twins need is more low-ceiling RHP mid-rotation starting pitching prospects.  




A Mets offer that doesn't include Fernando Martinez as a its centerpiece is essentially all the dreck of the rumored Red Sox or Yankees deals without the elite singular talent of Phil Hughes or Jacoby Ellsbury (who, while I'm not high on, is everything Carlos Gomez hopes to be when he grows up).  I understand that there's value in trading Johan out of the AL--adding Johan to the Red Sox or Yankees severely limits the Twins' chances of making the World Series over the next 5 to 7 years.  You know what else acheives the same thing?  Trading your all-everything pitcher for crap because you are too afraid of trading him to an AL counterpart.  This trade essentially makes the Twins irrelevant for the forseeable future.  

There is little question that the Orioles would have received more talent for Erik Bedard in the maybe-was-vetoed/maybe-wasn't-vetoed trade with the Mariners that was reported as a done deal yesterday, including a centerfield (Adam "Not Pacman" Jones) who is the same age as Gomez, is more ML-ready, is a better hitter, an equal fielder, and has a higher ceiling.  But besides that, the Twins did just awesome.

[TC]

Does anyone know anything about the "players" the Twins get in the trade? I'm not a NL follower, but I would have thought that at least heard of one of them.

Ask and ye' shall receive.  The scary thing is that most NY prospects are overtouted in the first place, and you haven't heard of these guys...

[finsleft]

Great summary, TC. I was just gonna say the best thing you could say about this deal was he went to the NL. But OUCH! Twinx coaching staff will earn their checks with this group. Might even drive Stelly off the cranberry juice.

[snoop dawg]

How about midget, excuse me, dwarf joke week?

[tmerton]

How about midget, excuse me, dwarf joke week?

Midgets and dwarves are not the same thing, of course, and in any event I vote no. 


"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
   --Robert Wilensky

[snoop dawg]

you are right....they are people too.  I almost forgot my new motto.  Thanks for reminding me.  Now that I think of it, monkeys have feelings too. 

[OzJohnnie]

I couldn't come up with any good monkey jokes, but this one made me chuckle.  The guy would feel like a monkey if I have to stretch for relevance.

A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?"
"Okay," she said, "but it won't do you any good."
A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?"
"Okay," she said again, "but it won't do you any good."
He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay, but you know it won't do you any good."
They get to his apartment and he says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife."
"Oh, well that's different...." she says. "Send her in!"

[Kilted Rat]

Wow, we trade away Santana for 3 guys who may help us in 3-4 years and a guy who can play centerfield but hits like Punto.

Why am I not thrilled about this trade?

[retagent]

I played hockey with other old timers at the Ashburn Ice Arena owned by Paul Mulvey. I think his brother Grant owns a rink or two in the Chicago area. Kevin Mulvey?

[Kilted Rat]

Mulvey or Mulva?


        * Woman: You don't know my name, do you?
        * Jerry: Yes I do.
        * Woman: What is it?
        * Jerry: It...uh...rhymes with a female body part.
        * Woman: What is it?
        * Jerry: Mulva?

[cobbernation]

The twins definately took the worst deal.  In exchange for the best pitcher in the game, the received 4 prospects.  Prospects are like farmkids, you have to wait for them to grow to see if they will help the club.  So once again the twins go with prospects instead of getting players who are proving they can play at a high level, ie ellsbury, lester, hughes, cabrera. 

But i do feel confident that one of the prospects has a 2-6 record with a 4+ ERA in the minor leagues.  This can only mean he will be 1-12 with a 6+ ERA in the majors.  It ultimately looks like the twins will wait another 11 years before a division title (ex.  91-02).

I just don't understand why the twins would take Cabrera so he could be an impact right away.  One of the positives is that Johan is out of the AL and the NL east faces off vs. the AL west this year for interleague matchups.

[Klopenhiemer]

The twins definately took the worst deal.  In exchange for the best pitcher in the game, the received 4 prospects.  Prospects are like farmkids, you have to wait for them to grow to see if they will help the club.  So once again the twins go with prospects instead of getting players who are proving they can play at a high level, ie ellsbury, lester, hughes, cabrera. 

But i do feel confident that one of the prospects has a 2-6 record with a 4+ ERA in the minor leagues.  This can only mean he will be 1-12 with a 6+ ERA in the majors.  It ultimately looks like the twins will wait another 11 years before a division title (ex.  91-02).

I just don't understand why the twins would take Cabrera so he could be an impact right away.  One of the positives is that Johan is out of the AL and the NL east faces off vs. the AL west this year for interleague matchups.

I do not get it.  You have had recent success with little or nothing over the past few years.  You a building a winning ball club with a bunch of guys that no one has ever heard of reletivly speaking.  Why the fire sale with Hunter and Johan?  Why would you not sign that base, along with Mauer and start to build a team to win the world serries.  This is starting to look like the Florida Marlins.  Hey Im Cubs fan so I know what its like to watch a franchise pull one bone head move after another.  I guess I thought the folks in the Twin Cities had it together a little better.