FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[57Johnnie]

57, +k for your recent win in "Can you top this?"

No disrespect to 57 but I had a stonger gut reaction to KR's story.  So I vote KR by a maggot.

Oh I never worked at a rendering plant. I only lived about 2 miles from one and occasionally that was closer than I wanted to live to one. Can't imagine working there. As far as working, KR has me beat by a mile.  
As a consultant, I worked for a company that collected and disposed of hazardous waste confiscated by the DEA when busting speed labs. The materials didn't smell terrible but were very nasty. You wore old clothes because even a 30 minute exposure (inside a Tyvek jump suit) resulted in an odor that could not be laundered out. retagent probably knows what I'm talking about. I don't even want to go into the digs that some speed freaks live in not to mention the quality of the product manufactured in a chicken coop.  

[OzJohnnie]

What would the folks at PETA prefer us to do with the leftover animal carcasses? Release them back into the wild???

Duh!  Become a vegan and "say no to animal cruelty" and "'yes' to compassion and good health."  No need for the carcasses in the first place.

If I was to go veggie, it would have to be Indian cuisine.  And I would have to see all bbq's and other such meat centric activities banned so that I'm not led into temptation.

2400 years of Plato supporting philosophers and we end up here - banning the back yard bbq and the, gasp, Stiftungsfestivities.  And who do the meat eaters have on their side?  Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, Edmund Burke and Ted Nugent.  There may be fewer numbers in our corner, but with the Cat Scratch Fever how can we lose?

[janesvilleflash]

+k oz, you are a wild man. Always? or Aus. making you that way?

[tmerton]

Before I joined the Navy, I went to Macalester for a short time.  In fact, America's attack on Libya had happened the week before my first visit to the campus.  The admissions officer proudly proclaimed the flag was flying at half mast in honor of the Libyans killed by the fascist imperialist American warmongers.  My dad turned to me and said in response, "Are you sure you want to go here?"  Like Robert Young in Father Knows Best, father knew best.

And yet Mac is one of two schools in the MIAC to have a NROTC program (I shan't name the other but it's just down the street).

[Kilted Rat]

What would the folks at PETA prefer us to do with the leftover animal carcasses? Release them back into the wild???

Duh!  Become a vegan and "say no to animal cruelty" and "'yes' to compassion and good health."  No need for the carcasses in the first place.

If I was to go veggie, it would have to be Indian cuisine.  And I would have to see all bbq's and other such meat centric activities banned so that I'm not led into temptation.

Eat vegetables???

Vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!


Another favorite:

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter!









And with that, I shall bid the PP adeu for the next 2 weeks as Mrs KR and I head off to San Diego to try to find a place to live starting in June and the on to Hawaii for our early Graduation present to each other!

I figure that 21 straight years of school earns me a vacation 8)


+k to all within reach and see ya in a few weeks!

[OzJohnnie]

And yet Mac is one of two schools in the MIAC to have a NROTC program (I shan't name the other but it's just down the street).

Well, the program for both Mac and USTD was actually, at least at the time I was there, part of the UofM ROTC program.  All actual ROTC drills and classes were held at the UofM campus, although Mac credits were recognized and Mac did accept the Navy's money for tuition.  In fact, Mac ROTC members were granted permission to not wear their Navy uniforms on the Mac campus during drill days, while USTD and UofM midshipmen did wear their uniforms on their respective home campuses.

Oh, how my life may have been different if I had followed my old man's advice and become a Tommie instead of a Scot (he recognizing the inherent contradiction in my choices, while I stubbornly refused to see.  This reminds of one of my favorite fallacies of youth: the belief that the first time 'a yute' thinks of anything must be the first time that anyone thought it, and the corollary that if they didn't think of something, then it must not be worth thinking at all.)

[retagent]

The kudos for 57 were for the Jack Johnson back and forth. I'm with you on the maggott story Shouldabeen.
I do remember, however, and I wasn't there for this one, it's second hand. On an attempted bombing investigation where the intended victim, later became a victim - i. e. the perp succeeded second time around. He was wearing a wrist watch, and when the wife came to identify, they figured he was in too bad of condition for any positive ID, and trying to spare her from looking at a decomposing body, asked her to identify his watch, as they did so a single maggott crawled (slithered) out.

[kubiack78]

my cousin just sent me this in an email and after reading it I knew it needed to be put on here:

Three Norwegians went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, got
> > drunk, and woke up in jail, only to find that they were to be executed in
> > the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night
> > before.
> > The first, Sven, was asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust
> > graduated from Saint Olaf in Northfield, Minnesota and believe in the
> > almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."
> > They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to
> > the floor on their knees, beg for Sven's forgiveness, and release him.
> > The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, "I yust
> > graduated from the Gustavus Adolphus in St. Peter and I believe in the
> > power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
> > They throw the switch, and again, nothing happens. Again, they all
> > immediately fall to their knees, beg for his forgiveness, and release him.
> > The last o ne, Ole, is strapped in and says, "Vell, I'm from the University of Minnesota
> > in the cities and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and
> > I'll tell ya right now, ya ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't
> > plug this thing in."

Ha.  That made me both chuckle with mirth and squirm with guilt simultaneously.  A funny joke, but the Ole and the Gustie were the good guys.  How's a Johnnie to react?

just be happy that the johhnie wasn't dumb enough to go with them

[finsleft]

I've enjoyed catching up on this most excellent series of bad job stories. +K to all from the mayor. Great off-season stuff!

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter. 

[Klopenhiemer]

What do you call Magic Johnson on roller blades? 

RollAIDS

[finsleft]

What do you get with a corduroy condom?

A groovy kind of love.

[Klopenhiemer]

How do you give direction to Nebraska? 

Walk south until you smell it, and head west until you step in it. 

 

[finsleft]

A professor at the University of St. Thomas was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously, has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" Way in the back, Lance raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Lance, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Lance replied, "Shoot!! From way back there I thought you said "Goats."

[Johnnie Red]

Speaking of ghosts, there is actually a book out that I purchased last year about ghosts. Amazing as to the number of supernatural experiences that people have had with ghosts. There were a number of photos of ghostly images in the book, also.

[tmerton]

How do you give direction to Nebraska? 

Walk south until you smell it, and head west until you step in it. 
 

And what do you call a good looking girl in Iowa?  A tourist.