FB: Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

[cobbernation]

Hope everyone is having an awesome St. Patty's Day!  I know I had a good time in downtown st. paul on saturday from noon til....we left.

[retagent]

t merts

I heard that joke about the "eye biter" many years ago, but with a different punchline. It's about a guy who goes into a bar and is betting the bartender drinks. The bartender pays off the first two, then the drinker bets the bartender another drink that he can pee all over him without getting him wet. The bartender, after seeing the eye biting and being impressed, agrees, wanting to see the next feat. The guy unzips, and hoses down the bartender leaving him soaking wet, and not all that happy. The bartender is pissed (in more ways than one) and starts sputtering, "but, I'm all wet." To which the drinker/pisser says, "Well, you can't win 'em all."

I'll let the audience decide which version they want to repeat. Theyre both good, but the auditor usually works only around tax time.

[Rugman]

I don't know how it is today but this used to be the biggest day during the SJU school year. About 2:00 AM McNamara's Band and The Little German Band started marching through the dorms trying to outblast each other. There was a Battle Royal to see whether the green or orange flag went up the flagpole. Lenten regs were waived (either officially or not). I can't tell you if there was a high attendance at classes since I probably wasn't there. Then after corned beef and cabbage in the refectory things got serious  --  I think a lot of level 4 and above the next day.  

57 I'm pretty sure all the band members have passed on.  If not they're not marching anymore.

[BDB]

OxyBob - you may have started a run of Surrender Monkey jokes! 

[snoop dawg]

....continuing in the spirit of green beer...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.

While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.

The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.

The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."

[tmerton]

t merts

I heard that joke about the "eye biter" many years ago, but with a different punchline. It's about a guy who goes into a bar and is betting the bartender drinks. The bartender pays off the first two, then the drinker bets the bartender another drink that he can pee all over him without getting him wet. The bartender, after seeing the eye biting and being impressed, agrees, wanting to see the next feat. The guy unzips, and hoses down the bartender leaving him soaking wet, and not all that happy. The bartender is pissed (in more ways than one) and starts sputtering, "but, I'm all wet." To which the drinker/pisser says, "Well, you can't win 'em all."

I'll let the audience decide which version they want to repeat. Theyre both good, but the auditor usually works only around tax time.

Gee, I didn't realize we were in a contest.  But okay, you win - your joke's clearly better.  You can drink more, too.

[OzJohnnie]

I'll let the audience decide which version they want to repeat. Theyre both good, but the auditor usually works only around tax time.

Well for me, I have a moment of resentment for the taxman every day of the week and twice on Tuesday.

You want to know something really f'ed about the Oz taxman?  You're not even allowed to try avoiding taxes here!  I say to the accountant that I don't want to evade taxes, just avoid paying one penny more than I must, and the fella gets all white and shaky. Not allowed to even talk like that apparently.  At that point I glance out the window looking for the greenshirts to come marching down the street in their jackboots.

[BDB]

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here's former Miss Ireland and 2003 Miss World Rosanna Davison. 



EDIT: BDB just stumbled on to something. www.irishbabes.net

[snoop dawg]

BDB.....+K

[57Johnnie]

I don't know how it is today but this used to be the biggest day during the SJU school year. About 2:00 AM McNamara's Band and The Little German Band started marching through the dorms trying to outblast each other. There was a Battle Royal to see whether the green or orange flag went up the flagpole. Lenten regs were waived (either officially or not). I can't tell you if there was a high attendance at classes since I probably wasn't there. Then after corned beef and cabbage in the refectory things got serious  --  I think a lot of level 4 and above the next day.  

57 I'm pretty sure all the band members have passed on.  If not they're not marching anymore.

I hope you meant to say 'passed out'. 

[retagent]

Geez! I meant no offense. It's just sort of like a DVD that you might buy that has an alternate ending that the Director/Producer decided not to use. Two for the price of one. Two heads are better than one. Too many cooks spoil the broth,... yada, yada, yada.

[OzJohnnie]

Watching that youtube fancy car driving yesterday with the Waylon Jennings sound track made me start to wax nostalgic for country when country was good.  So I flick through iTunes listening to Waylon, Charlies Pride and Rich, Mel Tillis, Conway Twitty and such.  I can't believe all the country tunes I remember - dad must have had the country station on more than I realized when we drove around.

And then I stumble across this old chestnut, a real country tear jerker, Teddy Bear by Ferlin Husky.  Ferlin is better known for the theme song of the movie Convoy, but Teddy Bear is the real soft heart of the hard country trucker.

[Johnnie Red]

And guess who has invited Ashley Alexandra Dupre' out to Hollywood?!!!!! None other than Paris Hilton.

[finsleft]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'?

He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

[sumander]

Fin's +k on that one and 2700 posts!