FB: USA South Athletic Conference

[CNU85]

back to football........

I suppose AU has it's game plan in place by now.....I figured they drove home from SU through Rocky Mount, picked up the game tape, and had it figured out after a few miles......throw the ball!!! Alot!!!!

This is going to be a great game!!! 50 degrees.....fall day.......CNU fired up, mad........and 5,000 crazed fans shipped in from Arrowhead! (for you Kickerdad).

It'll be fun to eat AU fans' food at the tailgate!!

[allsky7]

Hoochie Koochie Koo (or Rikkity tickety whatever) wins the Sensitivity Award for 2006....a little itty bitty touchy or what?  A sick kid and a job.....OH HELL NO! - who can handle all that pressure!!?? A joke son, chill out!  . You can tell you're a fairly new dad. My daughter goes to homecoming dances, parties, drove my new Jeep yesterday down Warwick Blvd!!!!!.....I long for the day when she had a 103 temp and was at home, safe in bed. Get used to it and fast......your little girl may be young and sweet now, but soon....HORMONES DUDE!!!!!!! Boys!!!! CARS!!!!! Boys and cars!!!! Boys and cars and hormones!!!!!

CNU85 - as the father of three females  , one of which is married, one has lived overseas for several years (but home now) and my baby girl turned 18 last Sunday  ; I have found these ten simple rules to be a great guide:

Stop me if you've seen this before - BTW, I found Rule # 10 to be especially helpful . . . . .  8)

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I keep this posted at our house . . . .

     I just got off the floor from LMAO. I laughed so hard my gut hurts. What a hoot man!!! I don't have a daughter but if I did, I would be the same way!!

[AdmiralPapi]

85...you would also have to add to those rules for dating your daughter that soccer punks need not apply! 

[Hampton U SID]

omg...that was toooooooooooooo funny

[narch]

newbie...great stuff - i had my daughter's handprint put on an "agreement" we made regarding dating the day she was born...and i'm going to hold her to it - problem is, she's got a hot mom and her dad's personality...she's going to be a handful, and i've known it for a while...she's 3 1/2, so i've got some time to work things out

on another non-football note, methodist college announced today that they are changing the name to methodist university...if nothing else it will ease the confusion on this board - m'ville can have the mc moniker, and the monarchs are now mu!

[AdmiralPapi]

I wonder how long it's going to take me to get used to saying Methodist University.

[CNU85]

Mooooo.....umm...excuse me...wait.....MU

there! MU

I didn't realize Monarch Butterflies said Moo.

honest...I only had 1 beer, officer.

[Eh-You]

on another non-football note, methodist college announced today that they are changing the name to methodist university...

Lord knows that will be the lead story on the conference website and will be on D3football.com - It kills me - I don't even have to read them anymore - EVERY TIME there is a "conference" news story posted it ALWAYS has Methodist involved in it. Not your fault Narch, and I'm not complaining to you about it but it really gets old to a non-Methodist fan.

[AdmiralPapi]

I didn't realize Monarch Butterflies said Moo.

honest...I only had 1 beer, officer.

If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that one!  I'll ask you like I ask them 85, "How big was that one beer?   

[Olinemom]

Hoochie Koochie Koo (or Rikkity tickety whatever) wins the Sensitivity Award for 2006....a little itty bitty touchy or what?  A sick kid and a job.....OH HELL NO! - who can handle all that pressure!!?? A joke son, chill out!  . You can tell you're a fairly new dad. My daughter goes to homecoming dances, parties, drove my new Jeep yesterday down Warwick Blvd!!!!!.....I long for the day when she had a 103 temp and was at home, safe in bed. Get used to it and fast......your little girl may be young and sweet now, but soon....HORMONES DUDE!!!!!!! Boys!!!! CARS!!!!! Boys and cars!!!! Boys and cars and hormones!!!!!

CNU85 - as the father of three females  , one of which is married, one has lived overseas for several years (but home now) and my baby girl turned 18 last Sunday  ; I have found these ten simple rules to be a great guide:

Stop me if you've seen this before - BTW, I found Rule # 10 to be especially helpful . . . . .  8)

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I keep this posted at our house . . . .

ever since the ineligible crap at Guilford, I've been a bit glum.    But I laughed so hard at this!!    I don't know where you got it, but I love it.  Thanks!!!!!  E-brownies to you for brightening my day.  And probably adding 20 years to other fathers of daughters just by them reading it.  Luckily my babies are just kitties (neutered and declawed and they are not allowed outside period)

[PA_wesleyfan]

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been


  Hey I resemble that !!!!!

[hasanova]

For those of you familiar with Guilford County, Eastern Guilford HS has been burning since 2:30 this afternoon.  At this point, the firefighters have given up and are just letting it burn.  Reports say it started in a Chemistry Lab and the teacher was unable to put it out when he discovered it.  He pulled the alarm and, thankfully, no students or faculty were injured, but a few firefighters have been hurt.  The fire is so bad, students and staff were not allowed back at the school to get their cars from the parking lot.  Students are out tomorrow and Friday at least until school administrators decide what to do.  I'm sure some options are doubling up at EG Middle School, GTCC (community college), other area HS's and so forth, but it'll be a big mess since EGHS has over 1000 students.  The news reports say the school is a total loss.  It is, among other things, the alma mater of St. Louis Rams/NCSU alumnus Torry Holt.  This is certainly not as important as the school itself and its academic significance, but I would expect a major disruption in EGHS's athletic schedules as well.  Good luck to all of them!

[Eh-You]

Please see signature for the latest hater list. There will be no criteria or logic - only emotion. There is only one voter and the poll can be expanded to include all that deserve to be there. The poll will take into account all Hatemail, HaterAde, Hate sandwhiches and straight shots of Hate with no chaser recieved in USAC, ODAC, Fan Poll, Playoffs, and Top 25 boards.

[narch]

this is just for you, eh-you...article on mu name change

'nova - i had heard about eghs burning, but didn't realize how complete the devastation was...that situation is going to be a cluster for a while - as someone who watched his house burn down, i feel for those involved

[hasanova]

'nova - i had heard about eghs burning, but didn't realize how complete the devastation was...that situation is going to be a cluster for a while - as someone who watched his house burn down, i feel for those involved

Yes, it will be a big mess.  Since it happened to you, I know you understand more completely than most how they must feel.  As a boy of 10 or so, I still vividly remember seeing a fire on a nearby farm.  In the rural community I lived, you always assumed it was a tobacco barn if it happened in the late summer or fall.  Anyway, it was a neighbor's house and they were away for the evening.  The volunteer firefighters and neighbors tried to save it, but couldn't.  It was almost completely razed when the owner and his family got home.  Our neighbor was a strong man, but he dropped to his knees and sobbed.  I will never forget that as long as I live.