MBB: College Conference of Illinois and Wisconsin

Started by Board Mod, February 28, 2005, 11:18:51 AM

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AndOne

AT IWU, ON SENIOR NIGHT, IN OT:

NORTH CENTRAL 82
IL WESLEYAN      80

For North Central

* 6'8" Alex Sorenson led the NCC ambush with a double-double of 27 points and 11 rebounds. Both were game high totals. IWU had no answer whatsoever for Sorenson who hit a career high 6 three balls (of 10 attempts) for 18 of his 27 points. Alex also had 3 assists and 2 blocks..

* Erwin Henry, 14 points including a perfect 5/5 from the line.

* Aiden Chang, 10 points including a perfect 6/6 from the line.

* Freshman Matt Cappelletti, 3rd in the conference in rebounds, pulled down 9 boards and added 8 points including 2/2 FTs.

* Tommy Koth, off the bench with 9 points on 4/7 shooting. All 4 of Koth's baskets seemed to come at critical junctures of the game.

* PG Jagger Anderson, with a game high 7 assists.

* All nine of the Cardinals who participated scored. NCC's bench outscored IWU's 18-5.

* The Cards hit for just under 42% from distance (10 of 24), and for 90% from the line (16 of 18), including a perfect 8/8 in the OT period. Wesleyan's figures were 24% (6 of 25) from three, and 70% (14 of 20) from the line. The Cardinals also won the battle of the boards by a 40-34 margin.

For IWU

* Andy Stempel led the home team with 23 points. Stempel burned the nets early, hitting for 18 points by halftime. However NCC halftime adjustments limited him to only 5 in the second half and OT combined. Although he led IWU in scoring, Stempel was invisible on the boards, failing to secure even a single rebound in 39 minutes of action.

* Colin Bennett ably supported Stempel with 22 points of his own. Many of Bonnett's baskets came on aggressive drives to the hoop, and it seemed that much of the time, the Cardinals were powerless to stop him.

* Brady Rose had 12 points, but seemed off his game for much of the evening as he was hounded primarily by NCC's Jagger Anderson. Rose fired from downtown 7 times during the contest, but only one of his attempts found the mark. Among his misses were an air ball and another that barely grazed the rim.

* 6'8" IWU star Trevor Seibring had 10 points and 9 rebounds, but didn't appear to really ever be able to get into the flow of the game.

* Senior Alec Bausch had 8 points and 7 rebounds before fouling out.
The game was very poorly officiated on both ends of the floor. Both teams had multiple valid complaints. However, only Mr. Bausch lost his cool to the point that he loudly voiced his opinion that a particular call was bull excrement. In exchange for said opinion Bausch was hit with a T which resulted in 2 made NCC free throws in a 2 point loss.

Gregory Sager

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

It sort of boggles my mind that NPU didn't have someone with a camera at the ready to capture Juwan Henry crossing the 2K barrier.   He's only the third Viking to do so in the program's history.  It's weird that the only photo of this will be from someone in the stands who took it upon themselves to make sure it was captured.

Given how ubiquitous cameras are these days it strikes me as really odd that my grocery store trip today is probably better preserved for history than a moment like that.

Methinks you doth assume too much, Monsieur Kiko. NPU does indeed have a game-day photographer, biology prof Jeff Nelson, who is on hand for such occasions. He's already posted a whole slew of pics from last night's game on Facebook, and the action posters of NPU senior basketball players both male and female that festooned the crackerbox's walls last night were created from his photography by one of NPU's broadcast sponsors, Speed Ink Printing ('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com."). Thing is, I don't know if Jeff has a pic that specifically chronicles the Juwan Henry shot in question. By the sound of it, Mark does.

Quote from: GoPerry on February 19, 2017, 03:42:00 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 09:20:21 AM
I'm pulling for Wheaton to play spoiler in Tarble on Tuesday, for the obvious reason that NPU needs that Wheaton win as part of the scenario that gives the Vikings the CCIW tourney's #1 seed and hosting privileges. But as a secondary consideration I'd also like to see Wheaton win that game in order to give the CCIW seven teams that finish with winning records. It'd be a rare distinction, and, in a season in which the league didn't exactly cover itself with glory in non-conference play, it would also be a testament to the league's balance this year.

Wow! Not exactly 'dogs and cats living together', but certainly further evidence of an unusual season . . . Will you be wearing Orange while calling the NPU-Millikin game?

I'd have to wear green at the same time, since I have to root just as hard, if not harder, for Illinois Wesleyan on Tuesday. That's because, for North Park fans, IWU beating Augie at Shirk on Tuesday is really the whole linchpin of the deal, if you don't include NPU's theoretical win over Millikin. And I don't think that I have any articles of clothing that are both orange and green.

One thing's for sure -- I'm going to feel like I need a shower after all that simultaneous rooting for Wheaton and Illinois Wesleyan. :-\
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle." -- George Orwell

AppletonRocks

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 12:27:32 AM
Quote from: Titan Q on February 19, 2017, 12:23:38 AM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 12:21:44 AM
Quote from: tjcummingsfan on February 18, 2017, 07:25:53 PM
Quote from: GoPerry on February 18, 2017, 06:55:46 PM

Sorry about this but I have to say it.  If Carroll is going to invest in streaming the games live, is it too much to ask the camera operator to pay attention and keep the camera on the end of the floor where the ball is?

Agreed, that was pretty frustrating.

I watched a little bit of that game, and I saw that happen, too. It drives me crazy.

I saw it too...and actually even felt compelled to tweet about it.

https://twitter.com/IWUhoopscom/status/833088846552244224

https://twitter.com/IWUhoopscom/status/833102306350604289

Somebody should tell Mike Schulist that his camera operator is neglecting his job. It makes the whole Carroll operation look bad.

At the beginning of the season when I suggested they'd compete for a top 4 spot in the CCIW, a bunch of you suggested they were bad.  I don't agree, except for the issue you are now bitching about.  They were very competitive in the MWC and will be in the CCIW as well.
Run the floor or Run DMC !!

2016 WIAC Pick 'Em Board Champion

kiko

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

It sort of boggles my mind that NPU didn't have someone with a camera at the ready to capture Juwan Henry crossing the 2K barrier.   He's only the third Viking to do so in the program's history.  It's weird that the only photo of this will be from someone in the stands who took it upon themselves to make sure it was captured.

Given how ubiquitous cameras are these days it strikes me as really odd that my grocery store trip today is probably better preserved for history than a moment like that.

Methinks you doth assume too much, Monsieur Kiko. NPU does indeed have a game-day photographer, biology prof Jeff Nelson, who is on hand for such occasions. He's already posted a whole slew of pics from last night's game on Facebook, and the action posters of NPU senior basketball players both male and female that festooned the crackerbox's walls last night were created from his photography by one of NPU's broadcast sponsors, Speed Ink Printing ('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com."). Thing is, I don't know if Jeff has a pic that specifically chronicles the Juwan Henry shot in question. By the sound of it, Mark does.

Having a gameday photographer and having someone assigned to be ready for that specific moment are two different things.  It just seems like a miss to me that, with Casa Coleman being the one non-owned media outlet that is certain to have some level of interest in this, Pat is having to ask for the photo rather than already having it in his inbox.  If a NPU-generated photo from that moment doesn't exist, that's a miss, and if it does but d3hoops.com doesn't have a copy at this point, that's a different miss.

It's a minor quibble in the grand scheme of things, but if we're going to pile onto our friends in Waukesha for their gameday operations, it seems like this bends toward the same place.

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com.")

This reminds me... I tuned into the NPU webcast last week for the North Central game.  I couldn't decide whether the Charcoal Delights mentions were a paid commercial spot or just an affectionate shoutout to a favorite local haunt.  Either was plausible. :)

Gregory Sager

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 06:56:32 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

It sort of boggles my mind that NPU didn't have someone with a camera at the ready to capture Juwan Henry crossing the 2K barrier.   He's only the third Viking to do so in the program's history.  It's weird that the only photo of this will be from someone in the stands who took it upon themselves to make sure it was captured.

Given how ubiquitous cameras are these days it strikes me as really odd that my grocery store trip today is probably better preserved for history than a moment like that.

Methinks you doth assume too much, Monsieur Kiko. NPU does indeed have a game-day photographer, biology prof Jeff Nelson, who is on hand for such occasions. He's already posted a whole slew of pics from last night's game on Facebook, and the action posters of NPU senior basketball players both male and female that festooned the crackerbox's walls last night were created from his photography by one of NPU's broadcast sponsors, Speed Ink Printing ('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com."). Thing is, I don't know if Jeff has a pic that specifically chronicles the Juwan Henry shot in question. By the sound of it, Mark does.

Having a gameday photographer and having someone assigned to be ready for that specific moment are two different things.  It just seems like a miss to me that, with Casa Coleman being the one non-owned media outlet that is certain to have some level of interest in this, Pat is having to ask for the photo rather than already having it in his inbox.  If a NPU-generated photo from that moment doesn't exist, that's a miss, and if it does but d3hoops.com doesn't have a copy at this point, that's a different miss.

It's a minor quibble in the grand scheme of things, but if we're going to pile onto our friends in Waukesha for their gameday operations, it seems like this bends toward the same place.

I don't see them as equivalent at all. If Kevin Shepke doesn't have a photo of Juwan's shot ready at hand, then that's at worst a minor slip-up. (Really, is it going to ruin d3hoops.com's story if they have to run a stock photo of Juwan, or an alternate photo of him from last night's game?) Carroll's incompetent camera operator screwed up the webcast in a major way, creating a bad impression of the program and the school for anybody who happened to be watching the game. That's an order of magnitude more serious, especially since I doubt that anyone would even notice if the pic of Juwan made available was not taken at the exact moment that he released his historic shot.

Also, in Kevin's defense, he had an extremely difficult night. He's working without a student assistant this year, which means that all of his SID and game management work, including the gamers he has to write and the production and game footage he has to splice into the postgame interview that accompanies the gamers, has to be done solo. What with two games that he had to cover, I'm sure that he didn't leave his office until well after midnight last night. Compounding that was the fact that, right after last night's men's game concluded and he had gone down to the officials' dressing room to give them their game checks, some kid whom I was told had been sitting in the Augustana section deliberately went over to Kevin's chair at the scorer's table and threw up all over it. Why anybody would do something so deliberate and malicious is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It cast a distinctly unpleasant shade on his postgame duties.

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 06:56:32 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com.")

This reminds me... I tuned into the NPU webcast last week for the North Central game.  I couldn't decide whether the Charcoal Delights mentions were a paid commercial spot or just an affectionate shoutout to a favorite local haunt.  Either was plausible. :)


Paid commercial spot, which is why I always preface the ads I read on the air with, "North Park men's basketball is proud to be sponsored by ..." or suchlike as I launch into the ad copy.

Having said that, I certainly do make it a point to eat there ... and not simply to boost the client's loyalty to NPU with my patronage. ;)
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle." -- George Orwell

Pat Coleman

With our own staffing -- Gordon Mann running all game night recap copy, Ryan Scott cleaning up missing scores and me only around to handle breaking news (like last night, unfortunately) and special projects (like pitching in on conference tourney tracker), what it actually meant was using a photo of Juwan Henry or, as you can tell, not using one.
Publisher. Questions? Check our FAQ for D3f, D3h.
Quote from: old 40 on September 25, 2007, 08:23:57 PMLet's discuss (sports) in a positive way, sometimes kidding each other with no disrespect.

Gregory Sager

The pic of Juwan on the d3hoops.com recap would've been great, but, knowing what Kevin has to handle on a night like last night, I certainly don't hold him responsible for the fact that there was no pic.
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle." -- George Orwell

Pat Coleman

Why the SID has to deliver checks to the officials is beyond me. Let him handle information, for goodness sakes!
Publisher. Questions? Check our FAQ for D3f, D3h.
Quote from: old 40 on September 25, 2007, 08:23:57 PMLet's discuss (sports) in a positive way, sometimes kidding each other with no disrespect.

Gregory Sager

He wears two hats, Pat. He's both the SID and the head of game management. Handing the refs their checks is the game manager's job.
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle." -- George Orwell

Pat Coleman

Publisher. Questions? Check our FAQ for D3f, D3h.
Quote from: old 40 on September 25, 2007, 08:23:57 PMLet's discuss (sports) in a positive way, sometimes kidding each other with no disrespect.

Gregory Sager

Well, the check-handing-out aspect of it doesn't take more than four or five minutes, tops. But I guess that that's enough time for some punk to come over and puke all over his chair. :(
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle." -- George Orwell

kiko

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 07:20:08 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 06:56:32 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

It sort of boggles my mind that NPU didn't have someone with a camera at the ready to capture Juwan Henry crossing the 2K barrier.   He's only the third Viking to do so in the program's history.  It's weird that the only photo of this will be from someone in the stands who took it upon themselves to make sure it was captured.

Given how ubiquitous cameras are these days it strikes me as really odd that my grocery store trip today is probably better preserved for history than a moment like that.

Methinks you doth assume too much, Monsieur Kiko. NPU does indeed have a game-day photographer, biology prof Jeff Nelson, who is on hand for such occasions. He's already posted a whole slew of pics from last night's game on Facebook, and the action posters of NPU senior basketball players both male and female that festooned the crackerbox's walls last night were created from his photography by one of NPU's broadcast sponsors, Speed Ink Printing ('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com."). Thing is, I don't know if Jeff has a pic that specifically chronicles the Juwan Henry shot in question. By the sound of it, Mark does.

Having a gameday photographer and having someone assigned to be ready for that specific moment are two different things.  It just seems like a miss to me that, with Casa Coleman being the one non-owned media outlet that is certain to have some level of interest in this, Pat is having to ask for the photo rather than already having it in his inbox.  If a NPU-generated photo from that moment doesn't exist, that's a miss, and if it does but d3hoops.com doesn't have a copy at this point, that's a different miss.

It's a minor quibble in the grand scheme of things, but if we're going to pile onto our friends in Waukesha for their gameday operations, it seems like this bends toward the same place.

I don't see them as equivalent at all. If Kevin Shepke doesn't have a photo of Juwan's shot ready at hand, then that's at worst a minor slip-up. (Really, is it going to ruin d3hoops.com's story if they have to run a stock photo of Juwan, or an alternate photo of him from last night's game?) Carroll's incompetent camera operator screwed up the webcast in a major way, creating a bad impression of the program and the school for anybody who happened to be watching the game. That's an order of magnitude more serious, especially since I doubt that anyone would even notice if the pic of Juwan made available was not taken at the exact moment that he released his historic shot.

Also, in Kevin's defense, he had an extremely difficult night. He's working without a student assistant this year, which means that all of his SID and game management work, including the gamers he has to write and the production and game footage he has to splice into the postgame interview that accompanies the gamers, has to be done solo. What with two games that he had to cover, I'm sure that he didn't leave his office until well after midnight last night. Compounding that was the fact that, right after last night's men's game concluded and he had gone down to the officials' dressing room to give them their game checks, some kid whom I was told had been sitting in the Augustana section deliberately went over to Kevin's chair at the scorer's table and threw up all over it. Why anybody would do something so deliberate and malicious is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It cast a distinctly unpleasant shade on his postgame duties.


I didn't say 'equivalent'.  I said 'bending toward the same place'.

I also said:

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

... so I don't mean to make a mountain out of this.  I get that resources are quite thin even in the best of circumstances at the D3 level.  I just think that slam-dunk earned media opportunities (rather than paid, shared, or owned media) are rare in the D3 world, and if you are able to capitalize on them, you have a chance to raise your program's profile that tiny little bit extra.

On the Carroll misfire: it is obviously not ideal, and I won't defend or explain it away.  But consider that we don't know if there were extenuating circumstances that caused the issue there.  This one IMO ladders back to some extent to the debate around whether it is better to have student broadcasters or more experienced hands as the voice of your team.  I prefer to see students in this role, even though it is harder on my ears, and give them a lot of latitude.  This is where they will learn the craft (or learn that it is not for them, which is equally valuable).  Part of that is a reflection that I sipped the WONC Kool-Aid many years ago and know how grateful the students are to get that hands-on experience from the get-go.  If the Carroll misfire was a student... again, not ideal, but not the end of the world.  This wasn't CBS paying a billion dollars for the broadcast rights to MWC CCIW basketball contests.

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 07:20:08 PM
Compounding that was the fact that, right after last night's men's game concluded and he had gone down to the officials' dressing room to give them their game checks, some kid whom I was told had been sitting in the Augustana section deliberately went over to Kevin's chair at the scorer's table and threw up all over it. Why anybody would do something so deliberate and malicious is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It cast a distinctly unpleasant shade on his postgame duties.

That is absolutely disgusting, and as you say, behavior that is beyond comprehension.

iwumichigander

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 08:30:03 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 07:20:08 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 06:56:32 PM
Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 06:01:44 PM
Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

It sort of boggles my mind that NPU didn't have someone with a camera at the ready to capture Juwan Henry crossing the 2K barrier.   He's only the third Viking to do so in the program's history.  It's weird that the only photo of this will be from someone in the stands who took it upon themselves to make sure it was captured.

Given how ubiquitous cameras are these days it strikes me as really odd that my grocery store trip today is probably better preserved for history than a moment like that.

Methinks you doth assume too much, Monsieur Kiko. NPU does indeed have a game-day photographer, biology prof Jeff Nelson, who is on hand for such occasions. He's already posted a whole slew of pics from last night's game on Facebook, and the action posters of NPU senior basketball players both male and female that festooned the crackerbox's walls last night were created from his photography by one of NPU's broadcast sponsors, Speed Ink Printing ('check 'em out on the web at www.speedink.com. That's speedink, with a 'k', dot com."). Thing is, I don't know if Jeff has a pic that specifically chronicles the Juwan Henry shot in question. By the sound of it, Mark does.

Having a gameday photographer and having someone assigned to be ready for that specific moment are two different things.  It just seems like a miss to me that, with Casa Coleman being the one non-owned media outlet that is certain to have some level of interest in this, Pat is having to ask for the photo rather than already having it in his inbox.  If a NPU-generated photo from that moment doesn't exist, that's a miss, and if it does but d3hoops.com doesn't have a copy at this point, that's a different miss.

It's a minor quibble in the grand scheme of things, but if we're going to pile onto our friends in Waukesha for their gameday operations, it seems like this bends toward the same place.

I don't see them as equivalent at all. If Kevin Shepke doesn't have a photo of Juwan's shot ready at hand, then that's at worst a minor slip-up. (Really, is it going to ruin d3hoops.com's story if they have to run a stock photo of Juwan, or an alternate photo of him from last night's game?) Carroll's incompetent camera operator screwed up the webcast in a major way, creating a bad impression of the program and the school for anybody who happened to be watching the game. That's an order of magnitude more serious, especially since I doubt that anyone would even notice if the pic of Juwan made available was not taken at the exact moment that he released his historic shot.

Also, in Kevin's defense, he had an extremely difficult night. He's working without a student assistant this year, which means that all of his SID and game management work, including the gamers he has to write and the production and game footage he has to splice into the postgame interview that accompanies the gamers, has to be done solo. What with two games that he had to cover, I'm sure that he didn't leave his office until well after midnight last night. Compounding that was the fact that, right after last night's men's game concluded and he had gone down to the officials' dressing room to give them their game checks, some kid whom I was told had been sitting in the Augustana section deliberately went over to Kevin's chair at the scorer's table and threw up all over it. Why anybody would do something so deliberate and malicious is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It cast a distinctly unpleasant shade on his postgame duties.


I didn't say 'equivalent'.  I said 'bending toward the same place'.

I also said:

Quote from: kiko on February 19, 2017, 03:34:23 PM
Recognizing that gameday operations require a lot of bodies, that this is accentuated on senior night, that athletic directors and their staffs are pulled a million ways to Sunday, and that Gregory noted some extenuating circumstances in a comment earlier...

... so I don't mean to make a mountain out of this.  I get that resources are quite thin even in the best of circumstances at the D3 level.  I just think that slam-dunk earned media opportunities (rather than paid, shared, or owned media) are rare in the D3 world, and if you are able to capitalize on them, you have a chance to raise your program's profile that tiny little bit extra.

On the Carroll misfire: it is obviously not ideal, and I won't defend or explain it away.  But consider that we don't know if there were extenuating circumstances that caused the issue there.  This one IMO ladders back to some extent to the debate around whether it is better to have student broadcasters or more experienced hands as the voice of your team.  I prefer to see students in this role, even though it is harder on my ears, and give them a lot of latitude.  This is where they will learn the craft (or learn that it is not for them, which is equally valuable).  Part of that is a reflection that I sipped the WONC Kool-Aid many years ago and know how grateful the students are to get that hands-on experience from the get-go.  If the Carroll misfire was a student... again, not ideal, but not the end of the world.  This wasn't CBS paying a billion dollars for the broadcast rights to MWC CCIW basketball contests.

Quote from: Gregory Sager on February 19, 2017, 07:20:08 PM
Compounding that was the fact that, right after last night's men's game concluded and he had gone down to the officials' dressing room to give them their game checks, some kid whom I was told had been sitting in the Augustana section deliberately went over to Kevin's chair at the scorer's table and threw up all over it. Why anybody would do something so deliberate and malicious is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It cast a distinctly unpleasant shade on his postgame duties.

That is absolutely disgusting, and as you say, behavior that is beyond comprehension.
Kiko - not a mountain, unless Sager responds then we might not have a mountain but at least an effort that rivals Denver and Atlanta in altitude  :o

kiko

Oh, I know who is getting the last word on this, and I know it isn't me...  ::)

AndOne

Quote from: Pat Coleman on February 19, 2017, 07:56:24 PM
Why the SID has to deliver checks to the officials is beyond me. Let him handle information, for goodness sakes!

That would never work. It makes too much sense.  ;)