FB: Liberty League

['gro]

Gro will be heading to Nashville in a little while on the 1st leg of his christmas travelpalooza.

This is the guy/gal Gro hates. The plane has just landed and within 15 seconds this person is making a phone call to the person who is picking them up. "Hey it's me we just landed".  Is it necessary to tell this person that as soon as possible? Because you probably wont be leaving that airport for another 30min minimum. The plane has to land, then the limp wristed male stewardess has to wrestle with the door to get it open. As you deboard some jerkoff is going to cut in front of you (side note: if this happens to Gro, its ON) then you gotta get to the baggage claim then wait for your black suitcase with the pink tag that looks like all the other black suitcases with pink tags.

[Regulator]

Gro will be heading to Nashville in a little while on the 1st leg of his christmas travelpalooza.

This is the guy/gal Gro hates. The plane has just landed and within 15 seconds this person is making a phone call to the person who is picking them up. "Hey it's me we just landed".  Is it necessary to tell this person that as soon as possible? Because you probably wont be leaving that airport for another 30min minimum. The plane has to land, then the limp wristed male stewardess has to wrestle with the door to get it open. As you deboard some jerkoff is going to cut in front of you (side note: if this happens to Gro, its ON) then you gotta get to the baggage claim then wait for your black suitcase with the pink tag that looks like all the other black suitcases with pink tags.

OHH!!!! the person that shoots up the aisle that tries to get ahead of you.
Are you kidding REG?  I mean, unless you want me to make a huge scene which will likely end up with an elbow being thrown at your grill do not even think about getting off before me.

And what is with people standing up in the aisle?  Can't you let the guy who has 3 kids, 14 carry-ons, while on his cell phone get his stuff out of the overhead before you flood the middle of the aisle?....while other people, who for some reason find the "stand and duck your head" technique comfortable??...Listen, I hate flying enough, but I could do without
-the guys mentioned above
-the kid listening to his ringers so everyone knows he has a cell phone
-kids flying with one parent
-carry-ons
-the person that stands within 6" of the luggage belt waiting for luggage
-the airline person that can keep you in bismark SD bc you have had 2 miller lights
-the people that look at you walk past them in first class like it is their own private charter and you are the service
-the guy who tries to confiscate my armrest
-the pilot who tells you that you "are 4th in line for departure" WTF does that mean?...give me times!
-the vendors in the airport that serve substandard food for 2x the cost of normal food....WHY would food be more expensive?  Is there a shortage across the nation in airports?
-and last but not least....MY WORST NIGHTMARE... The person that wants to "cut" you because they are "going to miss their flight"...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  Reg got here 1.5 hours early to avoid having to look like a jerk running through the airport like you, and now you want a special exception because you wanted to catch the end of Days of our lives?

F ME!

[lewdogg11]

'Gro, these people need the Text message philosophy.  An 'I just landed' text is cool.  I HATE people who get on the phone immediately.  Also, the 'cutter'.  Usually middle-aged women who think their nasty half gallon of 'Stinky Lady' perfume isn't repulsive.  They sit a row or 2 behind you and don't follow proper airplane de-boarding technique, and before you get out of your seat she sprints by you.  This person is usually tracked down by LD11, and harassed.  LD11 typically yells 'Big F'ing rush huh?'  'Better hurry.' or just the nice and easy 'Go ahead, I wasn't next.'  When LD11 is in his more chipper moods you may hear him belt out, 'Douchebag!' or 'B!tch!'

[Senor RedTackle]

RT hates the guy in the window seat when RT is in the aisle...especially when he has to get up 5 f'in times to either go to the can or check his crap in the overhead. One of the times, the dude got back in the seat after fiddling around w/ the overhead....RT asked w/ a hint of annoyance. "Did you make sure it's still there? Anything gone?" RT also hates the people who put all their crap in the overhead and hog the entire thing w/ 2 bags, a coat, some plastic bag w/ lord-knows-what touristy junk in it, and one of those metal folding luggage totes. When RT was travelling through O'Hare alot the last couple of years, he was always running ragged trying to make a connection...being the seasoned business traveller he is, RT always carries on. No checked luggage for this cat. About half the time, RT would be making a mad dash to get on the plane and there was never any overhead room left.

However, RT probably pisses people off..he's "that guy" who stays on his cell after the doors have closed and makes the stewardess tell him 3 times to turn off his phone.


Reg...the Samsung was actually a special. I don't recall it being an open box.

[Jonny Utah]

Just to add to regs list of luggage belts do's and don'ts.

1) Don't run in front of other people trying to get your bag because you were on the phone telling someone "hey, Im at the airport."  You missed your bag, go find an open spot and wait untill it comes around again.  Don't be a pain in everyones balls.

2) Don't turn over and check every single piece of luggage comes around that might be yours.  Have some sort of preparation, know what your bag kind of looks like.  You don't have to rap it in that gay tape or buy turqoise luggage, but don't grab every piece of luggage and make the person next to you have to get out of your way to get theirs.  Just show some preparation chief.

3) Help the old lady out that has a heavy bag.  Although theres nothing funnier than seeing some old bag being dragged by their luggage around the entire bag-belt, in the end that old bag is someones grandmother, maybe mine.  Help those out who need it.

4) If you are travelling in as part of a large family, designate one person that knows everyones bag to stand up there and get them all.  EVERYONE else of said family should go sit down out of the f!cking way against the wall or something.  When that familys leader gets one bag off the belt, another family designee can meet them halfway to collect that bag and bring it back to the rest of the family against the wall.  Don't be that dickhead family that all lines up against the belt, while only one takes the bags off and lines them up next to that family, taking up even more lateral floorspace while I have to use a swim move over the 12 year old douchebag daughter to get my bags.  Also, don't open that luggage there looking for the 12 year old daughters pink ipod case so she can put it away right fu!king there.  That extends to rule #5

5) Don't open bags right there at the belt looking for stupid things you don't need right there like ipod cases, coats, tic-tacs, glasses, hand lotion or anything stupid like that. 

6) If I see anything stupid or goofy that comes around on that belt, don't expect me to help you out with them.  Don't be that guy that comes from florida with a wooden crate of oranges.  Don't be that guy that ducktapes a 7' by 4' cardboard box of clothes.  Just expect some staredowns by me if you get anything stupid.

7)  If youre flying from somewhere warm to somewhere cold like Boston around this time of year, don't be that guy that wears shorts and a tanktop with sunglass around your neck when you get off the plane.  This means you will also probably be that guy who gets in my way looking for your coat in your bag that is comming off the belt.

[Regulator]

4) If you are travelling in as part of a large family, designate one person that knows everyones bag to stand up there and get them all.  EVERYONE else of said family should go sit down out of the f!cking way against the wall or something.  When that familys leader gets one bag off the belt, another family designee can meet them halfway to collect that bag and bring it back to the rest of the family against the wall.  Don't be that dickhead family that all lines up against the belt, while only one takes the bags off and lines them up next to that family, taking up even more lateral floorspace while I have to use a swim move over the 12 year old douchebag daughter to get my bags.  Also, don't open that luggage there looking for the 12 year old daughters pink ipod case so she can put it away right fu!king there.  That extends to rule #5

JU-

Great expansion on the luggage belt.  I highly respect the people who know how to use a luggage belt, standing 3-4 feet back waiting patiently.

How annoying is the person that waits RIGHT WHERE the LUGGAGE COMES OUT!!!  They are usually the person you referenced in #2.  Making it a double foul.

The only thing that pisses reg off more than the luggage belt is in the security checkpoint when he has to take off his crispy white sneakers to walk along the funky fungi carpet where they "recommend" you take your shoes off.  Regulator obviously refused only to be threatened with a trip "behind the curtain for additional tests if he doesn't take off his shoes"  Reg usually gives in to these threats.

WHY DO THEY SUGGEST IT, THEN THREATEN YOU WITH A SCENE OUT OF DELIVERANCE!!!

[Jonny Utah]

I love this one,

How about when your at the gate, its like 20 minutes before loading, and there are those guys standing right at the front checkin waiting to get on before anyone else.  Then the stewardess says on the loudspeaker, "ok, now seating rows 10-30, and that guy runs up there, gives her the ticket and she says, "sir, your in row 60, I'm only seating rows 10-30."  Then the guy barely gets out of the way and just stands there!!  Dude, get the FU!K out of my way! 

I think it would be great if the stewardess could just say something like "Ok, you didn't listen, now you have to get on the plane last, and sit on the toilet the whole time"  I think there should be punishments for people with bad airport manners.

[icgrad87]

'Gro, these people need the Text message philosophy.  An 'I just landed' text is cool.  I HATE people who get on the phone immediately.  Also, the 'cutter'.  Usually middle-aged women who think their nasty half gallon of 'Stinky Lady' perfume isn't repulsive.  They sit a row or 2 behind you and don't follow proper airplane de-boarding technique, and before you get out of your seat she sprints by you.  This person is usually tracked down by LD11, and harassed.  LD11 typically yells 'Big F'ing rush huh?'  'Better hurry.' or just the nice and easy 'Go ahead, I wasn't next.'  When LD11 is in his more chipper moods you may hear him belt out, 'Douchebag!' or 'B!tch!'

ICGrad could not agree more.  Grad was coming home from business trip and was really tired.  Plane litterally hit the runway and the cellphones and blackberrys immediately kicked on.  Grad was pissed off! Started thinking do they really think that they are that important that they have to start checking their phone messages & email right away??  Grad sat patiently while all those fools pushed and shoved each other to get off the plane.  Waited till he was in car service till he made the call.

ICGrad would like to wish the LLPPr's a happy holiday season and to let them know that he enjoys reading what the LLPr's have to say.

[Jonny Utah]

Dawg, I might have a chapter on "doing all your Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve"  I'm actually going out right now do start all my Christmas shopping. 

Let me throw this out there.  Any good girlfriend gifts besides jewlery?  I hating buying some multi-$$$ piece of jewlery only to see her wear it once a year...

[Touchdown Tommy]

JU,

Bus recommends a trip to Williams-Sonoma for cooking items.  This helps assure that she knows it is her role to cook you good meals all year round.  Other suggestions that immediately come to mind include a quick jaunt to Victoria's Secret for some new clothes or perhaps a trip to the Day Spa or a trip to the caribbean (hence automatically getting some).

Bus will be back later to redeem himself from said Birkenstock disaster and subsequent beatdown from his friends in the LL PP. 

FYI: Although Bus was caught wearing Tree Hugger Birkies he is in fact a dedicated Republican.

[wildcat11]

 Cat11 back home after Southworst flight back to P-Town.  Cat11 thanks Dawg for left hook/straight right w/ celly in hand technique tips.  Was able to able to keep mind off killing loud celly guy by playing video poker in Reno airport.  Cat11 lost $20 in 5 mins.  Cat11 blows at video poker.

Cat11 would like to add two more of the most hated airport donkeys:

-Stinky dude who sits one row in front of Cat11.  Old maid who takes the Wild West whores bath in perfume is bad enough but can't hold candle to B.O. slob that radiates his stink in a flying tube that recycles the air you breathe in said tube for next 2 hours.  We're not in Eastern Europe so slap on some deodorant or sit next to the too much perfume lady and let your stink duke it out like Frank Dux and Chong Li.

-Loud valley "like" teen chick at the terminal who knows everyone can here what she is saying, so she talks even louder so people think she is cool.  Cat11 thinks your buddies are two feet away from you.  Cat11 doesn't want to know what "like" your zit faced "like" boyfriend did to get in trouble with his "like jerk" of a dad.  Also telling your girlfriend about how you got "like SO drunk" last weekend doesn't impress Cat11.   However, saying how you got "like So Drunk" last weekend and then got into a fist fight with Tara Ried at a nightclub might impress Cat11.

[Jonny Utah]

JU,

Bus recommends a trip to Williams-Sonoma for cooking items.  This helps assure that she knows it is her role to cook you good meals all year round. 

She is absoutly useless in the kitchen, I could get her some cooking lessons though...

[Jonny Utah]

Thanks to the d3football insight of the LLPP, (and especially Frank Rossi's formulas) JU got a top 25 placement in the pick'em coontest.  I just want to express my gratitute to those who helped me along the way....


1 - OHLORD - 72
2 - buffettfan - 70
2 - Kaptinkyle9 - 70
4 - KP3 - 69
4 - PRPride - 69
6 - country - 66
6 - MUCHank - 66
6 - Norton - 66
9 - diesel84 - 65
9 - SaintsFAN - 65
11 - arnoldbe - 64
12 - Mr_Mom - 63
12 - oldpa - 63
12 - redwings1 - 63
15 - ICDad - 62
16 - Wayne Johnson - 61
17 - ajwassup - 60
17 - Drez - 60
17 - moe45daddy - 60
17 - MountFan08 - 60
21 - gcoleman - 59
21 - jake5585 - 59
21 - partsman - 59
21 - Wojo1 - 59
25 - badegg - 58
25 - biancos - 58
25 - buck fitches - 58
25 - field of corn - 58
25 - hubdad - 58
**25 - **Jonny Utah - **58
25 - RaiderDB19 - 58
25 - Run 'n' Shoot - 58
25 - SeaGull73 - 58
25 - TC20 - 58

[Jonny Utah]

JU - If she has a car, Dawg suggests you get her some 22" chrome rims.  Kinda like blinging her out with the jewelry, just on her ride.  Plus she'll get more use out of them.  If she yells at you for getting the rims, just tell her Dawg was the one that suggested it. 

Dawg,
Something tells me she won't be that happy opening up a box of chrome rims tommorow night.  Maybe if the were designed by a fellow LLPPer, she might be ok with it, but just the rims themselves wont do the trick I dont think

[Jonny Utah]

Oh ok, I like what you edited in youre post, I think i might try it...

JU: Ok, now you open your gift.

GF: (look of excitement of big box) "ok, looks big"

JU: "Yea, I got them yesterday."

GF: (disapointed look) "oh, car rims. Great, thanks."

JU: "Hun, dawg made them though."

GF: "you mean Holladawg?"

JU: "yep, the one and only."

GF: "you are the best, tell HD thanks."