FB: Liberty League

[Garnet]

http://keyetv.com/watercooler/local_story_088152351.html

Not getting any action from your wife, go on strike.

What a dumbass!

[sumander]

http://keyetv.com/watercooler/local_story_088152351.html

Not getting any action from your wife, go on strike.

What a dumbass!

I agree, like taking it public is going to make her change her mind!!

[johnnyadmit]

http://keyetv.com/watercooler/local_story_088152351.html

Not getting any action from your wife, go on strike.

What a dumbass!

Although, if by some miracle he winds up getting some after this.....  Imagine the opportunities!

[Garnet]

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap ," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my butt?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."

[Garnet]

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her.

They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."

[Garnet]

This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

[Garnet]

Last one....

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.


Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

[BobbyBoucher]

+K for Garnet

Heres another one...

A store that sells "New Husbands" has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.  "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.  She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A "New Wives" store opened across the street. The first floor has women that love sex. The second floor has women that love sex and have money.   The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

[dewcrew88]

http://keyetv.com/watercooler/local_story_088152351.html

Not getting any action from your wife, go on strike.

What a dumbass!

Although, if by some miracle he winds up getting some after this.....  Imagine the opportunities!

I love the last line... "He'll live." That sucks ass.

[dewcrew88]

Last one....

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.


Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

I want to give Garnet some K but that would put him over the limit. I am distributing 4 super secret karma, 1 for each joke.
The proper authority has been notified.

[Kilted Rat]

http://keyetv.com/watercooler/local_story_088152351.html

Not getting any action from your wife, go on strike.

What a dumbass!

Although, if by some miracle he winds up getting some after this.....  Imagine the opportunities!

I love the last line... "He'll live." That sucks ass.

If I ever attempted a stunt like that, Mrs. KR would be inside laughing her a$$ off and praying for rain/hail.

Dude needs to learn that they key to a happy marriage is a happy wife. Keep her happy and the rest goes smoothly. Piss her off and it don't matter where the kids sleep because your ass ain't gettin none!

He obviously got some at some point after the first one came along since there is a second child!


+1 SuperSecretK (SSK) to Garnet, the K Gods have been notified.

[Garnet]

RT

This one is for you.

French TV Journalist topless.

NSFW

http://dailyniner.com/melissat1.shtml

[icgrad87]

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her.

They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

[BobbyBoucher]

Female/shemale Pop Quiz - SFW

http://www.top-greetings.com/G.py?P=/art/447/&C=EsLmUl4no3TJ6OsWm0A46g

take 2

http://www.top-greetings.com/G.py?P=/art/459/

How does the LLPP Inc faitfull score?

bobby got 75% correct.

['gro]

400+ miles of driving
2 customer visits
0 real issues, just "face time"   (WTF??)
1 lunch at TGIF
2 nice boobies of waitress at said TGIF

and Gro's back, in the office... killing the final 5min of work.