FB: Liberty League

[ritz72]

Ritz has always preached the fact that if one chooses to go to the bar with a chance of a bowl shark on the horizon, go with female friends, and when the time comes, have them escort you to the sit down john, stand look out and let you drop the kids........

Even better if you get a drunk friend to go in with you, and while you are dumping, have the both of you perform handel's "fake sex in the stall sonata #5".

[ritz72]

Ritz, after many a momentous night of tequila, jag, and random other shots of lovileness (with an occasional Hamm's to quench the thirst), was know to get lost in the house in search of a bathroom.  I have alledgedly participated in the following: (Soome confirmed, others where I have received blame,  but cannot verify independently):

1.Pissed on roommate's "date" one night while she slept.  A Menage Trois Golden Shower Version

2.  Used the luggage rack in the hotel closet as a comode while visiting Winnepeg.

3.  Pissed in a random pair of boots at a house party.

4.  Pissed in a ice cube tray and put it in the freezer.

Ritz was a lad who drank a lot so he had to piss a lot!!!

['gro]

good stories, +k to errybody...

Lewwwwdoooog... come out and plaaaaay. I know you have some LLPP Pee Pee stories.

[JT]

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's
heroic act she immediately ordered her to be
discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I
have good news and bad news. The good news is you're
being discharged, since you were able to rationally
respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of the person you love, I have concluded that your act
displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, hung himself in the bathroom
with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am
so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry."

"How soon can I go home?"

[bman]

Bman once peed on the leg of some dude he was arguing with in a bar (sitting in a booth) in the upper east side of Manhattan on new years eve many years ago...

dialog went something like this:

Rodney(assumed name) well here's why I think your'e an idiot ...Blah Blah Blah'

Bman:  Well here's why I think your an idiot...I'm peeing on you, and you don't even realize it...

...that's when the fight started....

[JT]

One afternoon, a little girl returned home from school and announced that a friend had told her where babies come from.

Amused, her mother replied, "Why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well, mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing stands up, and then the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's how you get babies."

Her mother shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye-to-eye and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies...

"That's how you get jewelry."

[PBR...]

LOL JT...i see your in solid form today....

[Garnet]

Great pee stories guys!

Garnet has one of his own.....during a trip to Saratoga in the middle of winter, Garnet was walking back to the car late at night after many many drinks.  Only place to pee was in the phone booth.  ONly it was not a full to the ground booth it was one of those waist high deals.

While Garnet is letting it flow a police officer comes around the corner.  Good thing Garnet saw him coming. Bad thing when Garnet slipped on the ice and caught it in the zipper*.  To this day Garnet has a little scar to remind him of that night.

* not as bad as Ted Stroehmann in 'Something About Mary'

Franks and Beans

['gro]

I started this convo because I know LD11 has some pee stories...

Come back jack! Come back! I'll never let go!!

[finsleft]

After a loooooong night in Tijuana with a bunch of guys, we all got blind and seperated, in that order. After stumbling around looking for them, I realized I was too full and stumbled into the train heading north. It was just me and a bunch of Mexicans on that trian and I really had to pee. We stopped at the border and the Border Patrol entered the train, asking everybody for ID. Except me, that is, I must've scared 'em. So the train pulls out again, and it's just me on the train. So there I am, trying to stand and pee, with one hand on the rail and one on my business, rocking with the train, and a yellow stream running down the aisle.
Whew.

LD11- the Sox are winning! Come out and play!

[Regulator]

Driving through the "not so nice" part of DC today, Reg had an uncontrollable urge to get shot at/ beaten/ pummeled by some less fortunate people. 

The super shuffle station on my Sirius played some Daniel Powter and Reg felt like hanging out the window singing
"Cause you had a bad day ....You're taking one down ...You sing a sad song just to turn it around !"[/b]

Am I going crazy, or is this normal LLPP behavior?

[JT]

Anyone see the Yankees' 2009 1st baseman.  Ryan Howard plays for the Phillies now but that is just a minor formality.  He hits a ton and he should just be maturing when he takes the field at the new Yankee Stadium in 2009.

[bman]

JT

The Yankees don't buy their talent...they "develop" it...just because that devlopmenent happens on other teams is a minor point...

[PBR...]

reg...completely normal thoughts you are just looking out to help your fellow man and those less fortunate than yourself feel better about themselves and take out their frustrations for a day on someone....think of it as doing your good deed for the day...even if it means taking a cap for the team!!!

[Knightstalker]

Bman, the Yankees give the other teams money to develop talent.  Besides Howard plays for the Phillies, nobody cares about them.