FB: Heartland Collegiate Athletic Conference

[cave2bens]

Wow...did some plants release deadly toxins into the air around the HCAC schools causing everyone to go nuts and kill themselves and as a result, I'm the only one left??? That would make a heck of a movie if you ask me.

Yeah, a lethal protest of the CO2 caps negatively affecting their future progeny -

Soybean Green - starring Adam Sayer as Last Man Gasping and Kevin Neihuis as Only Man Grasping 

[Adam Sayer]

I got into some trouble the other night with some guys. Apparently they were trying to get a little tail from a girl and I ruined it for them. This chick, who was probably 5'8" 115 pounds, walked into their house with a bottle of vodka, 2 giant red bulls, and soda water. This chick was about as superficial and ditzy as they come...hence why I think every guy at the house was trying to get some. Anyway, she was bragging about how she had been at the pool drinking and all day and couldn't take it anymore and ordered 2 large pizzas cause she was hungry. Like it is a sin to enjoy eating???

I couldn't help myself and told her it would be a good idea to remove her Bulimia Bag from the car before it started stinking. She then promptly bagged up her drinking items, called me an asshole, and left. I thought it was hysterical, everyone else...not so much.

[frank uible]

Not much football here.

[cave2bens]

Geez Adam - you sound like a married guy already! 

Not much football here.

Sorry, Frank, but no information has been forthcoming from any of the participating schools or posters at this point.  Hopefully, the Varsity D golf fest in a few weeks will provide some fodder courtesy of 70 DC, Has Been, and other contributors.

Dick Kaiser resigned as AD at Defiance, effective 30 June, to take over the AD position at South Dakota School of Mines and Technology - and presumably help move that school toward D II.   

[70_dc_alum]

Sayer...hilarious and i am with you on the comment, well needed but you should have saved it until after she paid foor the Pizza

Cave2Bens - i never go up to the Alumni D outing, i always do the Football Alumni one in the spring which all of the funds go directly to the team for stuff they need.  plus it is a lot more laid back and a lot more beer.

but there are a couple stories but nothing like last year when a guy crapped on the driveway.  i guess the good news was since he was not going to have a crapping re-occurance we had a DD for the night and his brother bought a retard/short bus for tailgating so we were all rocking out in the short buss all weekend.

interesting on Kaiser...i have been to South Dakota, makes DC look like NYC.  he was a good supporter of the football team when i was there but not sure if him and Taylor always saw eye to eye.  will be interesting to see who they bring into that role

[cave2bens]

Good to know you're still alive, Ben, and apologies for mixing up the two outings - dumb rugby alums don't do golf - we just meet up in Phoenix for a weekend of spring training and beers (or fishing and beers, or grilling in the driveway and beers...) 

Regarding Kaiser's relocation, at least Rapid City has Reptile Gardens and is closer to Wall Drug (for those old enough to remember "Wall Drug Store" signs - they've kind of gone the way of Burma Shave).  Since a new field house is in the offing, maybe the new college prez will bring in one of his old HUD cronies? 

Any poop on this years' edition of the Jackets offered during your debaucherous adventures?

[SaintsFAN]

I couldn't help myself and told her it would be a good idea to remove her Bulimia Bag from the car before it started stinking. She then promptly bagged up her drinking items, called me an asshole, and left. I thought it was hysterical, everyone else...not so much.

Too bad I wasn't there... I still could've closed the deal.  A.B.C -- Always Be Closing

cave2bens -- nice... I think I've seen that movie but it wasn't SaintsFAN doing the grasping.. 

Thomas More helds its annual Golf Outing for the Football Team this past weekend.  Besides getting made fun of by Coach Hilvert for signing up Justin Frisk on my squad (he didn't show up) it was a great time.  Its such a great thing to be able to see everyone again (and compare how fat each of us are getting)... the "reception" was held at Dickmanns in Ft Wright (Pat Coleman shared a few bevies with me there last November).  The one thing I'll suggest they do from now on.... it has to do with the Alcohol gift pack (won by Joe Shriver this year)...  Maybe they should not hand that out during the Dickmanns Deal... the cocktail waitresses were warning yours truly to NOT open the bottles while I was a customer there (I was parading around with a bottle of Jack).  We finally got it open and finished it about 10 minutes later -- doing shots..  and my oh my -- were there some drunk folks.

I'm still not feeling right after Saturday night.

If you are bored tonight, watch my boy -- David participate on the Bachelorette.  Lives in Dayton and works with me.  He has been causing a lot of drama on there.  You guys would love him.

[Adam Sayer]

I'm sure Kevin and I will have a plethora of stories come June 21st and the week to follow...assuming we don't kill ourselves with too many drinks of the alcoholic variety during my Bachelor Party. Actually, if any of us have more than 1 or 2 stories we can remember it shouldn't be considered a successful evening

As far as I know, things at MSJ are going as planned. They have been recruiting, and I've been told, getting, some quality DB's (an area the DC said they were lacking). Apparently the D-line is top notch, which has been the case most years since 2000. On the offensive side of the ball, I don't have anything. The two coaches helping out at the Marvin Lewis Camp were defensive coaches.

I'm starting to get a little excited about the HS year coming up for us and in general. The Cincinnati area had 3 teams listed on Maxpreps Nat'l top 25 (Elder #7, Colerain #18, and Highlands #24) as well as another Ohio team (Glenville). They didn't rank them, but spoke very highly of Moeller and St. X as well.

[70_dc_alum]

since this is the boring time of year the only FB news around is Chad Johnson back in Cincy.  i like what i hear and am hoping that he just realized he is playing a contract year and comes out swinging.  more important anyone see the news last night to see what he did?

got 3 tattoo's on his face.  2 little crosses under his right eye and interlocking OC (for ocho cinco)across the bridge of his nose (i think they said this they did not show) and the best the freaking outline of the state of florida under his left eye.

just freaking hilarious...i wish i had 50M in the bank so i could do dumb crap and get tattoos of things i love on my face.  Golden Corrall Buffett and Miller Lite your logos would be coming to my cheeks

[70_dc_alum]

Hilarious and back to old form!

"Everybody had fun with Chad Ochocinco's facial tattoos — especially Chad because they turned out to be fake and we, the media, fell for the washable ink hook, line and sinker."

[Adam Sayer]

This is great. You all have to see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPsaxdzyAQ

[cave2bens]

This is great. You all have to see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPsaxdzyAQ

Brings back fond memories of the old codger (late 60's through 1972) who used to host the all night movie marathons in Cinci - trying to recall if his sponsor was Hudepol or Sir Edward's.  Regardless, he'd be totally pissed up by 2:00 AM and the old Flash Gordon serials would be playing.  Cheap entertainment in Oxford after too many pitchers and pickles at Al and Larry's and Miami women at the Purity were uncooperative.  Thank goodness for the zany ladies from Western College. 

[SaintsFAN]

Where is everybody? Has anyone heard from has_been?

Sayer has his bachelorette party on Saturday.  Should be fun, even if I have to hang with a bunch of turds from MSJ.  Is Rashon Lewis invited?  What about the dude who broke the leg of a DC player (and is now a cheerleader at an Indiana College)??

Talk about a fall from grace.... MSJ gridder turns to cheerleading??  Ha!

[Adam Sayer]

See....I'm friends with legit football players. People who are down to Earth and love to drink a few cold ones...even if it means getting kicked out of Waffle House later in the evening.

[cave2bens]

See...even if it means getting kicked out of Waffle House later in the evening.

Well, all right, "Kid Rock!"    Will we see you doing penance, serving up some eggs and hash browns (extra crispy, and spread)?