D3 Championship Belt

[sac]

I hear the Quad Cities has never been more excited, but that's probably a pretty low bar.

[iwumichigander]

I hear the Quad Cities has never been more excited, but that's probably a pretty low bar.

might that be one of several bars along the east banks of the Mississippi river?

[Gregory Sager]

Exactly. Every bar in the QC is a low bar.

[Just Bill]

Be sure to tip your waitress.

[sac]

Augustana 96  Whitewater 94  2OT


The Belt^TM spent a little too much time the past couple days with the Augustana co-eds in those low bars.   This morning the newest holder of The Belt^TM Coach Grey Giovanine had a few words to say.


Grey:   It gives me great pleasure to handle these baubles and geegaws of such a fine accessory.  It^TM will look fantastic as my jacket twirls over my head and I toss it over the opposing bench.
<chuckle from the crowd>
Grey:  There is no greater honor in college sports than to capture The Belt^TM, not even in D1.  I know because I've coached at 6 of them.
<pause, as if to expect applause>
Grey:  I want the supporters of Augustana to know we will take this belt to Jacksonville, Florida and defend its glor <tapped on shoulder>........excuse me.
Augie assistant:  <whispers>  uh, MacMurray is in Jacksonville, Illinois
Grey:   Illinois?
Augie assistant:  yes Illinois
Grey:   What do I do with my speedo?
Augie assistant:  I told you not to wear it to this press conference
Grey:  Everyone wears speedo's while doing press conferences in D1.  I've coache....
Augie assistant:  yes 5 schools  <rolls eyes>
Grey:  6 schools
Augie assistant:  you can cover your speedo with The Belt^TM
Grey:  I don't like how the baubles rub against my thighs
Augie assistant:  well, maybe......wait how do you know that?
Grey:  never mind
Augie assistant:  oh yeah right the low bars, no more Tequilla for awhile
Grey:  agreed.
Augie assistant: anyway, Jacksonville, Illinois
Grey:  right!  Hey do you think they'll call it the Corn Belt^TM while we have it?
Augie assistant:  good one.   <points to the crowd>

Grey:  We'll take this belt^Tm to Jacksonville, Illinoissssss  <winks towards assistant> and defend it with all the honor an Augustana man can muster.  With our schedule of opponents I'm certain we'll be holding The Belt^TM into the new year and we'll take it into the greatest conference in the history of conferences the CCIW.  I know because I've coached....

Crowd:  <in unison> at 6 D1 schools.

[Gregory Sager]

[David Collinge]

Augie assistant:  you can cover your speedo with The Belt^TM

Uhm, yeah, uh...Just Bill, I think we're gonna need a new Belt^TM.

[Just Bill]

Augie assistant:  you can cover your speedo with The Belt^TM

Uhm, yeah, uh...Just Bill, I think we're gonna need a new Belt^TM.

I'd like to see him try. There's far less painful ways to get a vasectomy.

[Just Bill]

The Belt^TM in all it's splendor has been passed! Augustana shall parade the Belt^TM through each of the Quad Cities, avoiding the worst parts. Which means of course, it will stay locked safely in it's case and not actually go anywhere.

[FCGrizzliesGrad]

It seems The Belt^TM has quietly enjoyed Its^TM stay with Augustana the past month. No mention of Its^TM trip to Wisconsin Dells or almost deciding to head to Elmhurst. It^TM will be on full display this evening as #1 ranked (good to see the d3 poll has decided to follow The Belt's^TM lead) Augustana heads to Naperville to take on #9 North Central.

[sac]

What we're really looking for this year is a picture of Sager with the Belt^Tm

[KnightSlappy]

CCIW is a deep league with only a four-team tournament. Is this the year The Belt^TM stays home in March?

[sac]

....visions of a shirtless Greg Sager floating on an innertube in Lake Michigan cackling as he smokes a cigar, sips a Budweiser, wearing his Cubs hat with the Belt^Tm straining at the waistline, its baugbles and geegaws glistening in the summer sun.

[Gregory Sager]

What we're really looking for this year is a picture of Sager with the Belt^Tm

I've checked the supply closet at the west end of the crackerbox, so I know that NPU's got the goggles and tongs for handling Thee Most Exalted Bespangled Cincture^TM, as well as the special golden poles for carrying the Ark of The Belt^TM, just in case the improbable comes to pass.

....visions of a shirtless Greg Sager floating on an innertube in Lake Michigan cackling as he smokes a cigar, sips a Budweiser, wearing his Cubs hat with the Belt^Tm straining at the waistline, its baubles and geegaws glistening in the summer sun.

Replace the Budweiser with a Fat Tire, and this could be a thing.

[northb]

What we're really looking for this year is a picture of Sager with the Belt^Tm

I've checked the supply closet at the west end of the crackerbox, so I know that NPU's got the goggles and tongs for handling Thee Most Exalted Bespangled Cincture^TM, as well as the special golden poles for carrying the Ark of The Belt^TM, just in case the improbable comes to pass.

....visions of a shirtless Greg Sager floating on an innertube in Lake Michigan cackling as he smokes a cigar, sips a Budweiser, wearing his Cubs hat with the Belt^Tm straining at the waistline, its baubles and geegaws glistening in the summer sun.

Replace the Budweiser with a Fat Tire, and this could be a thing.

Also, don't forget to replace the Cubs hat with...pretty much anything else.