D3 Championship Belt

[FCGrizzliesGrad]

Looks like The Belt^TM didn't like Rock Island. Illinois Wesleyan loses their first game and The Belt^TM will spend a few days in Elmhurst. Next up will The Belt^TM return to Augustana after a week of traveling?

[sac]

Consider it a shopping trip to the suburbs.  The Belt^tm has to replace some ballghazi's that it lost in Rock Island.

[northb]

Consider it a shopping trip to the suburbs.  The Belt^tm has to replace some ballghazi's that It^TM lost in Rock Island.

Fixed it for you; beware the weasels......

[Greek Tragedy]

Apparently The Belt^TM felt Rock Island was a more worthy tourist destination.

Next up is a trip to Chicago to take on North Park. Security for The Belt^TM will be tighter than usual as its rumored Sager and his Minions will attempt to high jack It^TM.

[sac]

It would take a real set of ballghazi's to try and steal the Belt^Tm.  Even risking such a thing could put such negative karma on your program they spend the next 2 decades in basketball purga........oh wait  that's what happened to North Park.

[Just Bill]

It would take a real set of ballghazi's to try and steal the Belt^Tm.  Even risking such a thing could put such negative karma on your program they spend the next 2 decades in basketball purga........oh wait  that's what happened to North Park.

Now we know...

[Greek Tragedy]

Not sure if the weasel is any match against Sager, his Minions and, gulp, the Fart Blaster!

[Gregory Sager]

On the CCIW board today I was accused of being able to upset the continuum of the universe, depending upon whom I root for.

On this board I'm a cartoon villain.

I need to hire a PR firm.

[sac]

Many residents of Chicago were awakened this morning to the sounds of wailing sirens and helicopters overhead.   The Eisenhower Expressway was shutdown for addend security measures as The Belt^Tm, and a smiling Grey Giovonine, made its way to Carlson Gymnasium for tonight's game with North Park University.

Belt^Tm spokesman Richard Ballghazi was quoted "security will be extra tight for this game, we don't want another beltgate^Tm". "It was an ugly incident and we won't be repeating that."   When asked if North Park winning the Belt would change his security measures in the future Mr. Ballghazi's would only state "we respect the legitimate ownership of the Belt^tm.  North Park winning tonight would be great for everyone, except maybe Augustana."   Hundred's of Chicago finest could be seen gathering in the streets surrounding the University many in full riot gear.   Engineers were brought in to make sure Carlson Gym could withstand the aura of such a magnificent object like the Belt^tm"  "Good to go" was all they were willing to say.

In an unrelated story Chicago police surrounded a North side apartment complex and have detained several characters who looked like minions.  Chicago police would neither confirm nor deny they are holding a man for interrogation but did say local residents have no reason to be alarmed.

In another unrelated story North Park University announced basketball announcer Greg Sager would be unable to fulfill his duties this evening and a replacement is being sought.   A man unwilling to be identified said only "we expect Greg to be available for next Wednesday's contest against Wheaton."


"It's going to be a 'Crazy Night' and we're fully prepared for anything"  said Mr. Ballghazi.

[monsoon]

The Belt^TM decided to stay in Chicago as North Park downs Augustana.

[sac]

What we're really looking for this year is a picture of Sager with the Belt^Tm

I've checked the supply closet at the west end of the crackerbox, so I know that NPU's got the goggles and tongs for handling Thee Most Exalted Bespangled Cincture^TM, as well as the special golden poles for carrying the Ark of The Belt^TM, just in case the improbable comes to pass.

....visions of a shirtless Greg Sager floating on an innertube in Lake Michigan cackling as he smokes a cigar, sips a Budweiser, wearing his Cubs hat with the Belt^Tm straining at the waistline, its baubles and geegaws glistening in the summer sun.

Replace the Budweiser with a Fat Tire, and this could be a thing.

So looking forward to this, I'll even buy the Fat Tire.

[magicman]

When word got out that Mr Sager had mentioned hijacking The Belt^TM the police and National Guard quickly sprang into action and Mr. Sager was brought in for questioning. When he explained to the local constables that his quote of hijacking The Belt^TM was simply his way of expressing how a North Park victory over the #4 ranked team in the country would appear to the public, since North Park was such a huge underdog, their fears of criminal activity were put to rest. Mr. Sager was given a ride to the Crackerbox, where he donned his microphone, encouraged his minions to play well, and the rest, as they say, is history.   

The Parkers with their win and possession of The Belt^TM has made Sager a millionaire. It was rumored that he put down a 5 spot, back in October, at odds of 500,000 to 1 that North Park would capture Thee Most Exalted Bespangled Cincture^TM this season. We may never see him on the boards again. Forget floating in Lake Michigan on an innertube. He's on his way to Hawaii to do his floating...and I heard it's forever!!!

   

[Gregory Sager]

 

[Greek Tragedy]

Wonder if North Park could finish 8-6 and not make the Top 4 of the CCIW tournament.  Sager could die a happy alum.

[Gregory Sager]

Wonder if North Park could finish 8-6 and not make the Top 4 of the CCIW tournament.  Sager could die a happy alum.

I'm not quite sure how NPU missing the CCIW tourney with an 8-6 mark would make me "die a happy alum." Yes, it would mean that NPU would automatically hang on to The Belt^TM for a year, but it's better to risk It^TM and lose It^TM (were that to happen) than to not risk It^TM and keep It^TM because the Vikings fell short of the larger goal.

After all, the ultimate prize is a Salem Civic Center net draped around The Belt^TM, n'est ce pas?