115th Monon Bell Classic

[Breckenridgebear]

WAF78 - Typical story from a caveman.

You talk about how great the game was, but you do not address the fact that Da'Bash lost to Depauw. How can that be such a great day for you and your esteemed boys school? Did you win? No. Did you ring the bell that day? No. Did anyone from Da'Bash enjoy the embrace of a woman that evening? No. Sounds like a horrible day to me.

I am happy that your best memories from Da'Bash are about your school mates blowing plastic pipes on the field, instead of winning a football game. I am happy that you experienced the only tail that any Wally got on a Monon Saturday, when he ran across the field with a tigers tail. In my four years at Depauw, all of my Monon memories involve us keeping the bell. I was not concerned about any of the extracurricular activity that was secondary to the game.

Monon is about the game, the players, the coaches, and the alumni who played the game. You can keep you memories of tomfoolery and juvenile behavior. Depauw men focus on the game and keeping the bell. We know that when we get back to campus there are plenty of women and good times awaiting.

Depauw Never Quits, ***k Da'Bash
 

[wally_wabash]

Monon is about the game, the players, the coaches, and the alumni who played the game.  

This is the most ridiculous statement of the week.  Monon Bell is about way more than just players and coaches and guys who played in the game in the past.  For one, it's the only game of the year that gets DePauw students off their spoiled duffs and out to a football game on Saturday afternoon and I know most of those haven't and won't actually play in the game.  Official attendance for last week's game in the Dingle: 1000.   While no attendance figures are available, I'm pretty confident in saying that Wabash drew at least that for their scrimmage this year.  That's right...Wabash draws better than DePauw for practice.  I don't know how Monon Bell week goes at DePauw, but at Wabash it is a week long celebration of the team, the rivalry, and the prize.  The entire community gets behind the team and the event and the entire community sincerely cares about the outcome. 

It's totally unfair to say that it's only about the present and former players coaches. 

[DPU3619]

For one, it's the only game of the year that gets DePauw students off their spoiled duffs and out to a football game on Saturday afternoon and I know most of those haven't and won't actually play in the game.  Official attendance for last week's game in the Dingle: 1000.   While no attendance figures are available, I'm pretty confident in saying that Wabash drew at least that for their scrimmage this year.  That's right...Wabash draws better than DePauw for practice. 

Forgive me for asking, but, so what?  Does that mean something?  None of us here are "average" fans for our school anyway, so what bearing does it have on the discussion?  If we give enough of a crap to read these boards 10 times a day, then insulting each other for not caring doesn't make a damn bit of sense.  You were at yours on Saturday.  I was at mine.  Yes, average DePauw fan doesn't show up like average Wabash fan.  Fine.  We're spoiled.  We're also busy with chicks.  Distractions, I tell ya.  Get the best of you if you aren't careful. 

But, even with that said, why does it matter?  The Bell is in the Raymond "Gaumey" Neal Fieldhouse, men.  Go ahead and be a better fan.  Care more than we do.  Have a strictly heterosexual, manly-man Wabash twelveteen hour tailgate.   Pack the house.  Help yourself.  I can't hear your cheering anyway.  The ringing of OUR Monon Bell is drowning you out.

[Breckenridgebear]

wally_wabash - You and your Da'Bash Bro's are always talking about getting "behind" your team. Now you accuse the whole community of this? I would like to say that what you and all your boys (and apparently the whole town) do up in C'ville in your free time has no place on this board.

You know what your little speech about attendance shows me? C'ville and Da'Bash are so boring that the only thing for you boys to do is to go watch other boys roll around. What are your attendance stats for the locker room following practice? By the way, practice? Seriously, practice? You are talking about practice. Come on.

I bet that there are so many of you and your Da'Bash alumni friends that still live in C'ville that your weekly entertainment, besides playing tummy-sticks and sheep wrangling, is to go over and watch them Da'Bash boys get muddy together.

We can't help that at Depauw we have world renowned speakers (http://www.thedepauw.com/home/index.cfm?event=displayArticlePrinterFriendly&uStory_id=1ed960f7-5b02-474b-aebd-9cf570357bfb), a one of a kind music department, a priceless art museum and collection, top notch concerts and performances, a first rate Greek system, and WOMEN to occupy our time. As WAF78 pointed out, you guys have plastic pipe blowing practice, stuffed animal chasing, and, a brief search shows that you have speakers like this: http://www.wabash.edu/news/displaystory.cfm?news_ID=6362. It is no wonder everyone goes to watch football games. I bet you boys also watch a lot of swimming?

Attendance shows me that you have nothing going on up at the Da'Bash, nothing more.

[wally_wabash]

No, you're right.  Greencastle is a hub of social activity and culture.  Puh-lease.  When has anybody had the conversation "What should we do this weekend?  Indy?  Broad Ripple? Chicago?  Nah...those places suck.  We're going to Greencastle."?  Never.  That conversation has never happened. 

The girls thing is getting tired fellas...the vast majority of Wabash men that I know are doing just fine in that department.  It's amazing how women can be drawn to well-educated gentlemen...even, gasp!, women who went to DePauw.  In fact, there are more than enough of your own DPU alumnae that have seen the light and settled down with Wabash men to make your point pretty invalid.  And the ones that aren't interested in Wabash men...well, you can keep them (and whatever they might be carrying) for yourselves. 

Wes, the whole point about attendance was to rebuke the notion that the game only matters to the players and coaches.  My bringing up DPU's attendance was to point out that even to a base of people that couldn't care less about their football team, the Bell brings them out.  The game is a big deal to a lot of people outside of the respective programs. 

[DPULefty22]

Top Ten Reasons why DePauw not making the playoffs every year isn't the worst thing in the world:
2.     Somebody needs to be available to hit fungos (or is it fungoes, Mr. Quayle?). 

Actually, it is fungoes. So you know. 

And again with the Zima cracks? What is this, 1996? Do they even manufacture that stuff anymore? Gotta update your schtick more than once a decade, Wallies - ya bunch of macrame-jean-short wearing Coldplay fans.

[D3_DPUFan]

Breckenridgebear....you have heated up the discussion. Still reeling from that earlier classic post...

[wally_wabash]

Nauseating gay joke aside, I'll give you some credit for the 40YOV reference.

[DPU3619]

The girls thing is getting tired fellas...

Tell your boys to quit with the Zima jokes and I'll gladly can it.  

It's a two way street, hoss.

[wally_wabash]

With Zima out of production, we're scrambling for a substitute (as I'm sure all of you are as well, just in a more tangible manner).  I'm sure we'll be back on the weak malt liquor beverage of choice jokes in earnest next year.  

[Breckenridgebear]

DPULefty22

Your question about Zima intrigued me, so I did a little research. It appears that Zima is being discontinued according to http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27282131/. I guess we are just going to have to drink, what is the other one that the cavemen like to use, Boone's?

You know how I know Da'Bash likes Coldplay?

[BayernFan]

I spent a night in the Putnam County Jail over this game in 1978.  A Dannie chick named Leslie or Wendy Gates was in the cell next to mine.  She was leaving a Halloween party dressed like a hockey player, oblivous to the near riots on the DPU campus.  Cop immediately comes up to her demanding to confiscate her hockey stick.  She tells the cop "Eat me" and got tossed into the hoosegow.

Nice girl.

[BashDad]

Depauw men focus on the game and keeping the bell. We know that when we get back to campus there are plenty of women and good times awaiting.

Depauw Never Quits, ***k Da'Bash
 

Stern, unwavering focus if I recall.

"Depauw Never Quits Unless We're Down at Half and It's Too Cold Out and We're Not Gonna Win Anyway and Our Quarterback is Actually a Left Tackle and It's too Cold Out"

[cave2bens]

Wow... bears don't just defecate in the woods, do they?    

Perhaps lay off the Metamucil and consider some beta-blockers before you land in ICU by Saturday - doubt most health facilities subscribe to HDNet.   

Speaking of "chilling" Wes, you really shouldn't disparage Putnam County, even if Greendangle is the county seat - Putnams' in OH and TN are far worse.  WOMEN?  At my age, more of an obstacle than a benefit.  Any clue as to required services rendered just to spring a party on Saturday or a day astream with Bash Brother?  And before you even think it, we WON'T be admiring each others' rods and flies. 

Wabash Always Fights - DePauw to Hell, We'll Get The Bell

[gobash]

Depauw Fans, Alumni, and Friends,

I would like to remind you all of the importance of this game. As you know only one game counts every year. In preparation for the week, I would like you all to remember a few things.   

Let us remember this game is for those great classes who have played on the sacred field at Blackstock. Such as the Depauw team of 1973 who rushed against Wabash for 80 plays to win the game 28-21; or, the team who played from 1997-2000, winning 4 Monon Bells, including a 42-7 stomping in 1998; or, that team, who on November, 22, 1890 started the Monon tradition with an ass-kicking against Wabash, by beating the Wally's 34-5 in Crawfordsville; or, the 1914 team who in the middle of a snowstorm, wins 3-0, with a dropkick by the fullback; and let us never forget the class of 1933 who under Gaumey Neal went on to a 7-0 record having not lost, tied, or been scored upon during the whole season.

Let us remember this game for its historic players who have had so much success wearing the Black and Gold.  Players like Bart Simpson, who from 1971-1974 rushed for 2941 yards; or, Spud Dick, who will go down as one of DePauw's most prolific passers, a living legend; or Dan Ryan, who had three receptions for touchdowns in 4 different games between 2001-2002; or what about, Alan Hill with four interceptions for 159 yards against St Norbert on September 5, 1981; or, Jordan Havercamp, a backup kicker, who had never made a kick in college, nailing a 47 yarder for the win against the cavemen in 2007, becoming a legend; or who can forget, Tyler Kelley, who only had 71 receptions during his career from 1996-1999, but looked damn sexy while he was doing it. These men had hatred for those cavemen from Crawfordsville.  These are the men who the game is played for today.  These men are those who we should remember.   

Let us remember the shame that has fallen upon those classes who have lost to an all male college, those teams who have not shown their faces since losing to the cavemen. Personally, I would off myself if I ever lost to Wabash.

Wabash. A College of only men, governed by the "Gentleman's Rule". An all male (i.e. Boys) college where a student's only interaction with a female, during four years of college, is when they hug their mother (or, motherly figure in their father's partnership), see their sister during a break from college, or when they speak to the clerk at the local Kroger. Remember these boys of Wabash are not men (we all know when you become a man, these boys never get to experience that in college), they are weak humans scared of the fairer sex. This segregation from women does not make these "men" better, but puts them at a disadvantage. Not only are they socially awkward, but they grow up wondering why they have problems conceiving children, what a date is, and why they can not apply for employment benefits for their spouse (Mass., and Cal. Excluded). You must ask yourself, "What kind of world would we live in if Wabash was the norm?". I will tell you it is not a world I want to live in.

Not only is DePauw's maintaining the Bell at stake (36-34-6 Depauw lead), or the series record (53-52-9, Wabash lead), but the way of life for all men at co-ed Universities. A win for Depauw is a win for all men in the world who enjoy fraternity parties with women and beer in abundance, not just a Saturday night with the guys playing tummy-sticks. A win for Depauw is a win for all man who has hooked up with two, three, or even more women in one night/weekend. A win for Depauw is a win for ever man who has not worn a condom, because without a condom, it feels better.

For some of you, I do not need to explain the importance of Monon Week.  This is that time of year when you are allowed to eat only bloody, read meat for three meals a day and wash it down with ice cold domestic beer. This is the week where you get to fight random strangers for "bad eyeing" you, or merely for the fact that you didn't like the Crimson and Red in their tie, or that they drive a red car.  This is the week where showering with soap is purely optional. This is the week where any conversations with others must either concern, 1) discussions about beer, women, Depauw football, meat, or fighting; 2) a comparison of Spud Dick, Bernie Haskins, and Jason Lee; or, 3) your hatred for the color red. This is the week where human life becomes cheap, and only those who deserve it, are allowed to survive.

This is Monon Week. Ding Mother-****ing Dong.

In the words of a great man, UGOTTAWANNA

Depauw Fans, Alumni, and Friends,

I would like to remind you all of the importance of this game. As you know only one game is attended every year. In preparation for the week, I would like you all to remember a few things.

Let us remember this game is for those great classes who have played on the sacred field at Blackstock. Such as the Depauw team of 1998 which used ill gotten signals to cheat their way to victory!  And the valiant defense of the 1910 team who struggled to barely contain Ralph Lee Wilson!  And the heroic towel snapping that lifted the spirits and blushed the buttocks of the 2001 team in the locker room, following the game!

Let us remember the shame that has fallen upon those classes who have lost to an all male college, those teams who have not shown their faces since losing to the cavemen. Personally, I would off myself if I ever lost to Wabash.  As I sit behind the video monitor in the booth, controlling scroll wipe after fade for the DVD production team, I often fantasize that I'm a player on the field.  I stride up to the line and hunch double.  Spud Dick relays the play rhythmically on my inner thigh, pausing...lingering...as he indicates a drive up the middle.  Time slows as the play starts, and I watch beads of sweat drip down the facemask of the Wabash defender.  I thrust the ball through my legs into Spud's groping hands and am quickly sandwiched between the linesman and my own teammates.  Slowly we pry an opening in the man-sea and the back squirts through to victory.  Spent, I collapse and I quickly disappear under a pile of musky bodies, the air pressed from my burning lungs.  Then we're back from commercial, and I have to go get a coffee for Ken Owen.  If I was playing, I wouldn't lose.  I couldn't lose.

Wabash. A College of only men, governed by the "Gentleman's Rule".  What a joke.  Everyone knows that it's far better to be governed by a nanny-like administrative institution that requires no effort or thought.  Turning all responsibility and difficult decision making over to authority is the only thing that can prepare a man for the burdens of life in the real world.  An all male college where a student's only interaction with a female, during four years of college, is when they hug their mother (or, motherly figure in their father's partnership), see their sister during a break from college, or when they speak to the clerk at the local Kroger, debate in class with their outstanding female professors, interact with female parishoners at their local church, work with a local woman on a Habitat for Humanity house, help a female teacher at a Crawfordsville middle school tutor students, visit Purdue, IU, Ball State, or entertain carloads of female visitors from colleges on most weekends, or make love in a passionate yet tender manner to a DePauw co-ed.  Other than that, they never even see a woman!

Not only is DePauw's maintaining the Bell at stake (36-34-6 Depauw lead), or the series record (53-52-9, Wabash lead), but the way of life for all men at co-ed Universities, which is clearly threatened by the three all-male colleges in the country.  A win for Depauw is a win for all men in the world who are so insecure in their masculinity that they can't acknowledge that some people don't have to constantly surround themselves with women and homophobia in order to cover up how numbingly dull and effete they are!

For some of you, I do not need to explain the importance of Monon Week.  This is that time of year when you are allowed to eat only bloody, read meat, misspell homonyms (although I prefer soundthesameonyms, as it doesn't contain the word "homo"), and wash it down with ice cold domestic malt beverage. This is the week where you get to fight random strangers for "bad eyeing" you (I know this is not an actual phrase, but I didn't want to use "stink eye" for fear that someone might think I enjoyed the loving embrace of other men), or merely for the fact that you didn't like the Crimson and Red in their tie, or that they drive a red car or Rascal scooter, or they don't cry after sex.  This is the week where showering with soap is purely optional, but exfoliating with body wash and a buff-puff is absolutely required. This is the week where any conversations with others must either concern, 1) discussions about beer, women, Depauw football, meat, or fighting to show how incredibly gay you are not; 2) a comparison of Spud Dick, Bernie Haskins, and Jason Lee, (but not their prowess in bed); or, 3) your hatred for the color red, and your joy at tipping over elderly men in red Rascal scooters and kicking the crap out of them (I know I mentioned this twice, but it is the thing that makes me feel most manly!). This is the week where human life becomes cheap, and only those who deserve it, are allowed to survive, and I eat iron and crap bullets and I'm so goddamned manly I may even give myself the vapors.

This is Monon Week.  Dong.

By the way, did I mention how not gay I am?  Boobs!  Monster trucks!  Mamet!